[from Graham]
We are now closing in on the end… Link #33 awaits us – 3 lines (MISC). Hopefully we can have a selection made by this time next week.
Have a wonderful Sunday, wherever you are and look forward to reading your submissions,
Graham
.
.
we’ll travel north
and put down roots
among coconuts
hmmm…maybe that ‘commits kannonbiraki’? (tree/roots- persimmon/ coconut) I’m not sure, but I couldn’t resist posting it anyway.
we’ll travel north
and cast our fate
to the trade winds
lorin
good luck flows
in and out
in mysterious ways
or
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (O)
in another world
we hope we’ll
get on better
or
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (O)
his last two entries…
spam and beans
spam and beans
bat
high above the ravine
a suspension bridge –
five planks missing
gen
sliding down the bank
with a jam sandwhich
I eat more sand
(Rhonda)
selling raffle tickets
with his big eyes
a schoolboy
ashley
Issa's Snail - A Renku Group 
Oh, there are so many news here in Issa’s Snail, and I am late to all this! 🙂
Thanks, Graham, for choosing my verse. And thank you everyone for your congrats and comments!
There is a Russian proverb: “Patience and hard work will grind everything” (Terpenie i trud vse peretrut) — which might be interpreted like this: “with patience and persistent work one can overcome all obstacles”. English has its equvalents to that: Little strokes fell great oaks; Patience wins the day; etc.
Now, the turtle should prove it 🙂
g’day Graham
Please note that peace and love is not part of my offer for the verse. Perhaps Ashley can remove that from the above list.
Thanks again.
Peace and Love
Yup, can do!
thanks Ashley:)
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent
drowning his soul
Calamity Jane
saves another man
or
newly blended family
boards the airplane
rising from the destruction
or
new day
rises with the sun
Ode to Joy
I just love Beethoven’s 9th symphoney, so I can’t help myself using Ode to Joy in another ku
hanging from
the persimmon tree
all my sons (s)
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (o)
–
from wall to wall
graffiti
directs the traffic
from wall to wall
graffiti
directs the traffic
This is hilarious, Ashley — love the humor in this link! 🙂
———————————
Rhonda — your jam sandwhich is wonderful, too!
Thanks, Origa! I was hoping it’d work – I was just struck by the movement in yours and the idea of permance too – in a turtle showing strength and hanging on, and the way graffiti is ‘stuck’ on a wall etc
revision please…it’s amazing what little morphine from a hospital bed can do…or not, but here is my revision:
drowning his soul
Calamity Jane
to the rescue
bulldog bit my leg and now I have a majot infection…..it really BITES!!!! 🙂
Butterfly’s shadow
falls
on my cupcake
Sorry, left out the start
a butterfly’s shadow
falls
on my cupcake
thankyou Origa
Congratulations, Origa.
Thanks for your comment on humpty dumpty, Graham.
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (Origa)
one long wish
while the Tuttle comet
passes Andromeda
lorin
a turtle on the log
crossing the torent (Origa)
home again
home again
doing a jig
a turtle on the log
crossing the torent (Origa)
home again
home again
doing a jig
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (Origa)
nowhere to go, so
in
goes her head
—
nowhere to go
in
goes her head
—
nowhere to go
so
in goes her head
nowhere to go
so – in
goes her head
some responses:
peak hour
suits climb
the escalator
one red hat
escapes
from the crowd
water shortage –
she saves
her tears
glossy beans
spill into the coffee
grinder
Hi Anne, I like your ‘one red hat’ and ‘water shortage’.
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (Origa)
sitting by the brisbane river
listening
to your muddy confessions
by Agniesza Niemira ( found on ‘Haiku Dreaming Australia’)
🙂
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (Origa)
at the ouija board
channeling a sabaki
from the other side
🙂
lorin
Thanks for the comment Genevieve. Nice to have you back here, Lorin. I like your graffiti ku, Ashley.
Just a note to all the great writers involved with this Kasen (reading and writing). Please note that the closing date for the Katikati Haiku Contest is rapidly approaching – April 16.
Find entry details here:
http://www.poetrysociety.org.nz/haikunews/competitions
Many thanks for your support for this great project,
Sandra
Sorry kasen folks! I’ve had to steal Graham away for some time, we’ve been working on an article together so we’ll be back in force here soon!
You are cordially invited to our third moon viewing party of 2010!
The full moon rises on Tuesday, March 30th.
To submit a poem (all submissions remain the property of its author) you may email me here: williamsorlien@yahoo.com
or just post in comments at the HAIKU BANDIT SOCIETY : http://haikubanditsociety.blogspot.com
Be sure to include your pen name so we might accredit your poems properly!
Hello there snailers,
I feel like the proverbial snail, or Origa’s turtle on the log… I humbly apologise for the long delay after a promise of speed… hopefully for the next link, I will keep that promise.
But I do like to have a clear headspace when I approach the task of selecting a link… each link deserves all of my attention, so here goes. The fabulous five I have been considering for link #33 are:
from wall to wall
graffiti
directs the traffic
(Ashley)
My eyes are often drawn away from the road (much to my lovely wife’s dismay), lured to the beauty/obscenity/absurdity etc… of the graffiti that adorns so much of our modern landscape. This, like the graffit, stopped me in my tracks, made me ponder exactly what the graffiti would depict or say… obviously it is powerful stuff though as, as it is managing to direct the traffic. Love it!
at the ouija board
channeling a sabaki
from the other side
(Lorin)
Love the humour in this Lorin… it kicks hard! And I also have to say a huge thank you for sharing the poem by Agnieszka. It was a lovely poem and would have provided an excellent link in this renku.
sliding down the bank
with a jam sandwhich
I eat more sand
(Rhonda)
I think we have all been here… The ‘sandy sandwich’ is a part of every Australian childhood (and I imagine is common worldwide)… and sliding down sand dunes, well I still can’t get enough of that!
in another world
we hope we’ll
get on better
(Barbara)
Really enjoyed the mix of hope and despair in this poem… the dark mood of the present, so beautifully illumined by the hope for a better future.
nowhere to go
so – in
goes her head
(Geneveive)
Such a strong link back to the imagery of the turtle Geneveive. There is alot going on in this poem – the play on the saying, ‘pull your head in’, the vision of being cornered/having ones choices limited, the curtailing of the will. A very powerful poem!
So after much deliberation, I have chosen Lorin’s ‘at the ouija board’ for its distinct imagery and playful twist. I am sure it will help us all to channel something special for link #34 – 2 lines, Spring.
Take care and happy writing,
Graham
grahamnunn.wordpress.com
Thanks, Graham! I’m so glad you see the humour. 🙂 Delighted to have this one in the renku.
Like you, I thought the Agniesza Niemira haiku was a very good candidate for the spot.
Lorin
Yeah! Nice shift in the piece, really opens things up again, congrats, Lorin!
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (Origa)
at the ouija board
channeling a sabaki
from the other side (Lorin)
–
from over the fence
a roar from yet another lawn mower
(maybe just ‘mower’ that one seems a little long)
over the fence
the roar of his lawnmower
?
Whaddaya think, Ashley?
lorin
… I have the bloody neighbour with the brush cutter! Every Sunday morning! For a 4 x 4 lawn at the front, & a 4x 6 lawn at the back.
o, they call brush cutters by some twee brand name now…’whipper snipper’…they make the same noise, though.
My fate is, every time I try to write a poem, city or country, my own back yard or park, along comes a bloke with a brush cutter.
lorin
Yeah! That’s much better!
Know that feeling, love the early morning lawn mowing. Really kicks off your average Sunday huh?
ps… thanks! 😉
Congratulations Lorin. Interesting movement in the renku.
thanks, Anne!
lorin
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (Origa)
at the ouija board
channeling a sabaki
from the other side (Lorin)
through a blossoming plum
night’s crystal ball
finding in her palm
a first love
Greetings, Snailers!
Just popping in with some news, I’ve been approached to lead a ‘zombie’ renku at Cordite and we’re kicking off today, love to have everyone’s support!
Ash
http://www.cordite.org.au/newsblog/zombie-haikunaut-renga-instructions/
well, ‘zombie renku’!
The master calls… 😉
cheers,
lorin
g’day all
That’ll be fun, Ashley.
Congratulations Lorin!
Herewith some offers:
at the ouija board
channeling a sabaki
from the other side (Lorin)
with the last red peg
first raindrops
or
at the ouija board
channeling a sabaki
from the other side (Lorin)
swallows’ perfect pointillism
a welcome on the doormat
or
at the ouija board
channeling a sabaki
from the other side (Lorin)
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout
Peace and Love
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout
Love this, Barbara! From spooky to Spring!
lorin
g’day Lorin
Thanks for your positive comments.
Peace and Love
Hi Ashley – congratulations on the zombie renku – sounds interesting –
Thanks, Rhonda! Pretty excited – and I should have mentioned over there that I liked the ‘scarecrows circling’ ku too
Oh and hi Lorin – nice one
come the path’s end
always another flower
so, writing again my stanzas for link 33…
Would have been kind to tell me to do so, some plot there ?
a turtle on the log
crossing the torrent (Origa)
back to origins
that special fragrance
o being hugged again
now safe on the sand
among tiles and walls
an oyster’s mother of pearl
right in front of you
an Eden shines
all in almond paste
his horse at rest
the Indian sniffs –
where is the river source ?
No plot, Claire, just a mis-communication 🙂
This is something I posted on March 3 on the other thread
March 3, 2010 at 7:45 am | Reply ashleycapes
Sorry that I didn’t do this much earlier, but I’m splitting the kasen into a new page to speed things up – hopefully that fixes the slow response time some of you have experienced!
See ‘d&d kasen pt2′
And you posted directly under it on march 23 (so you and must have missed it it at the time)
“Hi everybody !
(sorry to be so late)…”
sorry, the second one was, in fact :
now safe on the sand
among tiles and walls
…
an oyster’ s mother of pearl
Please, Lorin, what’s a sabaki ?
Can’t find the word on Merriam-W, nor Chambers, Longman…
Thanxs to tell-me,
Claire
Claire, it’s a Japanese word that has several meanings according to context. In renku/ renga:
‘ sōshō (宗匠?): May also be called sabaki (捌き?). The coordinator of an ichiza, he or she is responsible for the completion of a renga. Has the authority to dismiss an improper verse. The most experienced of the renju should be the sōshō to keep the renga interesting. ‘
from wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renga
In the case of this renku, Graham is the sabaki… leader/coordinator of the renku.
Ashley, in the terminology of renku/ renga, is the
” teishu (亭主?): The patron of a renga gathering, who provides the place.”
…and is to be honoured as such, as you would if invited to somebody’s house as a guest.
Why are you posting verses on this thread for a position that a verse has already been selected for? I suggest you go back & read Ashley’s *two* posts to you, and notice the link to this page he supplied for you, just in case you hadn’t been able to find this page.
lorin
Thanks Ashley – the renku is already shaping up nice and zombie-ish
Hello Ashley,
I”m really sorry – Ive shown my best side, “naughty girl” !
I explained Lorin, never have I thougt to post them again on this page – haven’t realized in my lateness, that Graham was commenting while I was posting the fourth one… That’s it and I can’t go back to… before… channelling myself !!
Well, now thinking at my next – hope to come soon. And hope you don’t mind too much onmy stupid attitude.
Not at all, Claire – no problems! 🙂 It’s easy enough to do, no damage done!
Hi everyone,
Yes, I also love the spectre/new sapling ku Barbara.
An offer:
at the ouija board
channelling a sabaki
from the other side (l)
on a warm morning –
hearing celestial verses
or
this warm morning –
lost in celestial verses
Yes, Barbara I like your sapling ku, too,
and Genevieve, your celestial voices, with a slight preference for the second version.
two more:
“weeds, in wheels,
shoot long and lovely” (GMH)
bees find in blossom
a honeyed voice
Thanks Anne.
another try:
this arch of clear blue –
adrift on spring verses
or
this bowl of clear blue –
adrift on spring verses
one more:
one hundred spring verses
adrift in the blue
nicely done, Lorin!
at the ouija board
channelling a sabaki
from the other side (l)
breaking through
daffodils brighten the footpath
feet dandling
sitting on top of the world
at the ouija board
channelling a sabaki
from the other side (l)
the grass is always greener
over the septic tank
Nice one, Aldia. I like the humour in it.
Hi everyone,
Our renku is now coming to a close, with only a couple of selections to follow. It has been such an inspirational experience for me and I cannot begin to thank you all enough for your participation and patience… I know I am far from the speediest person on this earth.
So this time around we are looking for link #34 – 2 lines Spring and as always there were many wonderful contributions. here are the four that I have been pondering over in making my final decision:
the grass is always greener
over the septic tank
(Aldia)
Great wordplay here Aldia. The Septic Tank certainly makes things green, but it is a really unusual image to find in a Spring poem. I love the way this poem whacks multiple senses.
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout
(Barbara)
Superb Barbara! Has a real otherworldly feel to it. Love the way the new life seems to be born from an old ghost… and links so well back to Lorin’s ouija board poem.
this warm morning –
lost in celestial verses
(Genevieve)
Another stunning poem Genevieve… lost in celestial voices is such a great line and like Barbara’s links back beautifully to Lorin’s ouija board poem. This feels like you had been awake for many hours and the warmth of morning crept up on you.
come the path’s end
always another flower
(Rhonda)
What a gem Rhonda. Such hope in this poem and it echoes much of my personal philosophy, so there was a real connection for me. Made me go back and listen to Springsteen’s ‘Atlantic City’ for one of my favourite ever lines in a song – ‘everything dies baby that’s a fact, but maybe everything that dies someday comes back’.
Any one of these poems would make a fine addition to our renku… in fact I think this has been one of my hardest decisions yet. So, for link #34 I have chosen Barbara’s ‘where the spectre was’. And now we move to our 2nd last link – #35, 3 lines Flower/Spring.
Hope you all enjoy your weekends,
Graham
Congratulations Barbara, it’s a great verse and thank you Graham for such nice comments.
Congratulations, Barbara. It’s a great verse, imo.
For some reason I can also connect it with last year’s bushfires here around Melbourne. Some of those burnt trees certainly took on the appearance of spectres. What a suoerb word it is!
lorin
…superb (typo)
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout
(Barbara)
a tiny spider
stitching forget-me-not
to forget-me-not
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
spring dance –
her dress of sprigged muslin
and green satin slippers
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
on the bluebells – falling
through the trees
spring rain
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout
(Barbara)
back from a bushwalk
banksia candles
glow in the vase
or:
after a bushwalk
banksia candles
glow in the vase
Congrats, Barbara! Lorin, I really like your tiny spider ku.
Thanks, Aldia! 🙂
I wonder whether it’d be better in simple present?
a tiny spider
stitches forget-me-not
to forget-me-not
I do like this better! 🙂
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
show day – round
the neck of each goat
a garland of roses
or
show day – each cow
wears
a garland of roses
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
he’s picking her
a bunch
of paper daisies
or
he’s picking her
a posy
of paper daisies
or:
paper daisies –
a carpet laid
across the hills
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
notes of bellbirds
nectar of gum blossoms
all the way home
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
a nest is built
in the cherry tree-
life blossoms
I would like to omit “my”
hiking through the woods…
All done, Aldia!
Ashley
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
yellow wattle
in her yellow hair
she’s the princess fairy
or
Wattle Day
a yellow wattle crown
for a girl’s yellow hair
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
even this weed has
a little flower
for the sun
just one try for now!
Nice one, Ashley!
Congratulations Barbara.
Lots of lovely offerings already for the next.
Will try one:
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
last spring in Devon —
a palette of pastels
around the red fox
pastel tulips
scatter the walkway
childhood welcome mat
jumping contest
on our pogo sticks
new spring toy
amendment…
scattering the walkway
pastel tulips made of chalk
childhood welcome mat
I like your pogo stick Aldia, and your weed Ashley.
Last one from me,
in a grove of aspens
the surprise of wild
roses
Thanks! 🙂
And congrats, Barbara!
Hi everybody,
forsythias blooming, here
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
a hana haiku
on the Listeners’ sign post
poppies all over
flower to flower…
the scent of lilies
in the gentle breeze
Particularly like “a hana haiku” Claire.
a hana haiku
on the Listeners’ signpost
poppies all over
flower to flower…
the scent of lilies
in the gentle breeze
These are both excellent, Claire.
(I’ve elided sign post into one word, above, as that’s how it’s usually written)
Hello everybody, a third one,
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
her spring gift
a bird of paradise flower
in a notched vase
losing a contact lense
in long clover –
her downfall
Hi again, for a fourth one (if allowed, don’t remember)
resplendent spring sun
the shticks
of blooming orchirds
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
harbinger of spring
soft pussywillows
blossom in the swamp
Ashley,
I wanted t omit the word “my” from:
hiking through the woods
pussywillows greet
spring-starved eyes
perhaps i should have used the word amend…sorry.
Oh! Sorry about that, lucky you’re on the ball!
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
nodding in shadow
a greenhood
orchid
a crimson spider
orchid rare
in daylight’s net
Just a slight amendment:
a crimson spider
orchid – rare
in daylight’s net
Hi everybody, sorry to butt into the strand. I’ve set up a page ‘Exercises’ to take any subsequent exchanges.
http://www.renkureckoner.co.uk/beta
I’ve been working on some exercises to add to the Renku Reckoner site. They are in a temporary folder at the url above.
I’d be very grateful if people would have a look and give any kind of feedback on this site or direct to johncarley at virginmedia dot com
Specifically – there’s an exercise there based on a very old Chinese verse form that might qualify for a little more serious consideration. Please have a look at the Haizekku (provisionial name, might be ‘New Zekku’).
As you’ll see there’s provision on the page for some exemplars. How do you fancy attempting some?
PS – my friend and colleague Eiko Yachimoto has picked up some finger damage with consequent difficulty typing these last several weeks. Hence the no show to date in terms of a further short poem led by her.
Please post any comments (or Haizekku first verses etc) you might wish to make in this strand.
Best wishes, John
You are cordially invited to our fourth moon viewing party of 2010!
The full moon rises on Wednesday, April 28th.
To submit a poem (all submissions remain the property of its author) you may email me here: williamsorlien@yahoo.com
or just post in comments at the HAIKU BANDIT SOCIETY : http://haikubanditsociety.blogspot.com
Be sure to include your pen name so we might accredit your poems properly!
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout
(Barbara)
lying in wait
for the unwary –
hyacinths!
bike basket
full of tulips –
an icy dusk
Nice to drop back in and see so many fine verses here, and how the poem has grown!
Sandra, I like your bike basket full of tulips –
What a lovely image, it makes me want to put a basket on my bicycle and fill it with all kinds of spring flowers!
where the spectre was
new saplings sprout (Barbara)
a yellow freesia
loose in an old book –
packing up again
Hi everybody, sorry to butt into the strand. Good news though.
After becoming involved in an altercation between a large piece of bamboo and a very sharp knife the internationally renowned renku poet Eiko Yachimoto has managed to reattach all her typing fingers. She will therefore shortly be appearting here at The Snail in order to lead a new sequence.
Accordingly check out the page New Sequence (tab at head of this page). Soonest.
Best wishes, John
g’day all
Congratulations! We’ve just passed our first anniversary patiently linking and shifting on this journey….
Where is Graham? Are you ok?
Peace and Love
Hi there !
Wattle has bloomed in february in the south, as it does every year. However, two days ago, snow fell on the Pyrenees, Alps, and Massif-Central ! And, a six meters high wave in Cannes. Is the earth still the good place for our sort ? Wondering about that. Is Graham having zen on Mount Fuji ??! Ashley, along ?! Well, this is none of my business !
Well, Sandra, we are only one year old, let us grow up peacefully !
turning on itself
Mount Fuji has
no way out
But, rhubarb is coming !
Peace and Love (if you don’t mind…)
Hello everyone,
Thank you all for your patience… after being away in South Australia for the Australian Poetry Centre’s Salt on the Tongue festival, I have been struggling to claw my way back to some sort of middle ground. But I have been checking in regularly and watching each entry and the new projects start to grow… my mind needs some sort of calm however to really absorb each of the poems and to work through the decision making process. Today seems to have brought that calm… so here are my thoughts on several of the poems submitted for link #35 (3 lines flower/Spring).
There was just no way i could limit myself to five choices, in fact it was a struggle to limit myself to just 7 poems…
bike basket
full of tulips –
an icy dusk
(Sandra)
So great to have your voice back here Sandra. This is beautifully simple… the image of the tulips bunched together in the bike basket seems to illuminate the face of the rider (I am picturing a young girl) as they shiver their way into dusk. While Spring here in Brisbane is often very warm (definitely no icy dusks), this captured the beauty of that seasonal change, and the how the last of winter’s chill seems to linger.
a crimson spider
orchid – rare
in daylight’s net
(Anne)
So delicate and fragile Anne. An intricate image that caught me on first reading and has drawn me back several times to let the image unwind. For me this has a real burst of colour.
losing a contact lense
in long clover –
her downfall
(Rhonda)
Love this Rhonda. Being a person who once wore contact lenses (can’t seem to do it anymore), this made me laugh out loud. So playful, yet has that edge of frustration burning below the surface…
jumping contest
on our pogo sticks
new spring toy
(Aldia)
Also love the playfulness of this poem Aldia… such a great take on Spring! And indeed, pogo sticks are the perfect Spring toy! I can remember being given one many many years ago and playing endlessly on it… such a rush of emotion.
even this weed has
a little flower
for the sun
(Ashley)
The simplicity of this poem is again what makes it resonate. It has a joy about it… it not only revels in the beauty of the weed, but presents it as a gift of life. Thanks so much for this one Ash.
a tiny spider
stitches forget-me-not
to forget-me-not
(Lorin)
Another stunning poem Lorin… can see this so vividly. For me it seems dew-soaked. So many mornings I marvel at the intricate work of the spiders who have toiled throughout the night… the simple twist of stitching the forget-me-nots together, really elevated this poem beyond the observational.
a hana haiku
on the Listeners’ signpost
poppies all over
(Claire)
and finally Claire… well, what can I say. A fine verse for me to finish on today… the poppies providing a wonderful shock of colour in the third line.
Thank you all again for your words… this really has been a pleasure. A year in the making… well, I know for me it has all been worth it.
So my choice for link #35… well I have decided to go with Anne’s crimson spider orchid.
And now there is but one poem to bring this home… Ashley, please let me know if you want this thrown open to the group to conclude or whether you would like me to write the closing poem… I remember discussing this with you some time ago but have since forgotten what you would like to happen.
Hope you are all well,
Graham
Hi Graham! Great choice – and I agree, lots of stunning choices to look over this time, must have been a very hard choice!
You’re right – I think that because I started the renku and led for only a little while, that you ought to have the honour of ageku, because you’ve done, by far, the most work on our kasen!
So if you can, that would be superb, would really looking forward to your closer, and thanks again for leading so well!
Hi Graham and Ashley
I just checked in after teaching all day and was stunned to find you chose “a crimson spider/orchid” Graham. I feel humbled by the wonderful offerings this round, and honoured to have this chosen. It has been a lovely journey being part of the Renku. Looking forward to your closing ku, Graham.
Ashley, when it is complete and before you take the renku down (if you decide to send it somewhere), could you make a word copy and email it to the ‘usual suspects’ (i.e the contributors) by email?
Many thanks,
Anne
Congratulations Anne, and thank you Graham! It has been a wonderful year participating with so many amazing people. Always something to learn for me, from such a talented group! Graham, I look forward to your ageku, however a liitle sad to have this experience come to a close. Thank you for leading us so gracefully and all the hard work you generously give with your comments after each string. Well done! Well, almost done…… 🙂
Dear all of you,
Thanks so much for having been with you on this (my) first renku. Graham’s surges of emotions when reading were gladly received and helpful… to the neophyte I am in haiku genre ! Of course, I feel the need to read again all those ku until being really conscious of the force of each one.
I don’t know Anne’s thought, personnally I had had a “coup de coeur” (personnal emotion, if you want) for her freesia ku, its pepper scent in the fresh april breeze…
So now, the ageku is going to put an end to our meditations. Let us read Graham !
Well, I would like to tell you how this hana haiku came to me. I was around eight and had gone with my father for an outdoor’s afternoon to the big garden he had at the forest’edge. I soon got bored as I had nothing to play with, there. So boring that I took the decision to… run away… That’s how I had to run out of the forest ! It wasn’t really far, but all alone on the winding wood’s lane, I felt rather upset and ran quicker than I could. Fright, even (I wasn’t allowed to go on my own…). When I eventually got out of the wood, I had a rest at the poteau des Ecouteurs (Listeners’ Signpost) – all white with boards to the different forest’ lanes. There were no poppies at all, only grass. Then, I had to walk in an inhabited area before my own lot. My mother was still shopping, so I went to the neighbours ! Looking after me, she finally knocked their door, shocked.
So, the Signpost and poppies are probably the symbol of my “recovery” !
g’day Graham, all
Lovely choice, congratulations Anne!
Thanks Graham for taking us on this journey. I need to sit back and read it again and again. Looking forward to the ageku, and our title.
Thanks everyone, it’s been a stimulating and most enjoyable trip. Again, thanks to you Ashley for organising.
Peace and Love
Congratulations Anne, a lovely ku.
Looking forward to your ageku Graham.
All good wishes, G.
Thank you, Aldia, Claire, Barbara and Genevieve for your congratulations. I second the comments about Graham’s wonderful mentoring of the group. It has been good to meet you all here.
Anne
Hello all,
It has a been a long road, somewhat reflected in my closing poem, but it is a road I am glad I have traveled with you all. I first and foremost want to thank you for your patience, as I know I am not the fastest operator, but we got there in the end and I have been lingering over this poem, allowing each link to sink further into my skin.
So thank you to everyone who contirbuted and a very special thank you to Ashley for creatiung such a vibrant space.
I look forward to keeping up with all of your writings over here at the Snail and other places.
Winter warmth,
Graham
Thank you, Graham – not such a bad thing to take our time with a renku! Loved having your support, insight and leadership here. The Snail would have been poorer without you!
Ash
g’day Graham
are you interested in titles for our poem?
peace and love
Yes of course, a title… I know renga often take the opening line as title, but I am keen to see other variations explored.
Look forward to your suggestions!
Graham
g’day Graham
I wondered, should the ageku not be a spring verse?
Anyways, here’s title suggestions:
caught on a breeze
crossing the torrent
the silence of signs
channeling a sabaki
from the other side
the hurdles fall
where the sun flashes
in daylight’s net
Peace and Love
Hi Barbara,
I like ‘Daylight’s Net’ too
I’ve been thinking about the ageku, and have looked back over some of John’s comments about verse which could be no-season, but are given some stronger feel of seasonality via their postion in the renku. Thus, the road & home attaint the warmth of spring, perhaps.
Hi Barbara,
I hope the ageku – the road home – has a warmth to it… wanted to capture a drive home, with that sun resonating from Anne’s previous verse, so felt that it had the warmth of a Spring verse and the quietude of wonder as driver and passenger take in the beauty of their journey.
Out of these titles I favour: Daylight’s Net.
Would like to hear what others think?
Graham
Dear Graham,
I love the ageku, especially the gentle bringing the reader to silence at the end of the road. I cannot comment on ‘Daylight’s net” as a title.
Of those Barbara lists, I like “caught on a breeze”.
Thank you again for your wise and gentle guiding of the renku, and Ashley for your vision and hospitality.
Anne
Thank you so much Anne… the pleasure of the journey will resonate with me for a long time.
Hi Graham and Everyone,
I love the ageku too, rolling home in peace.
Of the titles mentioned so far I like ‘Daylight’s Net’ and ‘Caught on a Breeze’.
I also like ‘Fuchsia-Covered Walls’ and ‘The River Flows Honey’.
I would like to add my thanks Graham for your expert guidance through this renku – all the fascinating terrain we’ve covered since May ’09 – a fine journey.
Thank you again Ashley – this site is giving us so many excellent experiences.
All best wishes,
Genevieve.
seems a shame not to give this masterpiece a title
peace and love
Yes, I think, especially in the absence of dissenting voices, that we go with ‘Daylight’s Net’ as it has been mentioned a few times!
Will make the change to the header etc soon!