Daylight’s Net (pt1)

[Update May 09]

Ok great news everyone!

Queensland Poet, Editor and Publisher Graham Nunn has agreed to take over leadership and selection of the haiku for our first renku, an Autumn Kasen.

Graham is the author of several books, of note, the especially powerful Measuring the Depth a collection of haiku and haibun released in 2005.

I’ll continue to maintain the site and have input, but I’m really confident that Graham will help us create a stronger renku than I could have.

So, on with the show!

Ok, try and use the structure guide in the ABOUT section. I know things are getting more complex and scattered around here, but I don’t want to overload anyone by dumping a massive post on one page.  We’ll have a 3 day period per link for submissions…and further to that, we’ll accept up to 4 haiku per round, and up to 4 haiku per poet in the final renku

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1,381 Responses to Daylight’s Net (pt1)

  1. ashleycapes says:

    a bewitching brew-
    green tea and butterfly’s wings

    willie (bandit)

  2. Sandra Simpson says:

    So please you have done this, Ashley. And what a nice-looking site.

    To follow perhaps (it’s duck-shooting season here):

    all round the dining table
    the ping of lead shot

  3. ashleycapes says:

    My pleasure, Sandra! Though I ought not take too much credit for the site – well, for choosing the theme I will!

    Great to have you here, and love your ku, follows beautifully – and like Willie’s, made me smile.

    Not sure whether I’ll make a few executive calls on #2 myself, of whether I’ll wait to confer with others when they arrive, are you ok to sit tight for a bit?

    Ashley

  4. Rhonda says:

    Hi Ashley – yes this is a great idea, way to keep in touch –
    this line flew into my head as I was about to sign off and think about one –

    tar and sand
    rough on the skin

  5. Sandra Simpson says:

    sure.

  6. ashleycapes says:

    Hi, I think I’ll forge bravely ahead here (while it’s kinda quiet) and chose alone for #2 – as I really think Sandra’s has a strong connection with #1 but also has a touch of humour and brings in a more human element, shifting things nicely

    all round the dining table
    the ping of lead shot

    Rhonda and Willie, it might be worth re-subbing yours as we go down the renku, as I think they have both clarity of image and space for the reader to insert meaning

    Ok, #3 is open!

  7. Origa says:

    Hi Ashley, and all! May I join in?

    Being immersed into the Calico Cat contest, I can only write about haiku writing, hehe 🙂 So, here goes:

    one haiku
    a hundred poets
    write comments

    A lovely site, Ashley! I like the sabi-wabi design and the simplicity of the layout. Thanks for creating it! I might post information in my LJ about this, after the contest, if it’s okay.

  8. Origa says:

    Forgot to say: both your ku are wonderful. Such a subtle and multilayered opening ku, and Rhonda — such a striking fresh image, wow! I can hear the lead ping right here in Michigan! 🙂

  9. Origa says:

    Maybe, a better version would be:

    one haiku
    a hundred poets
    commenting

    ?

  10. Your beginning sounds like autumn – from my Kansas City, Missouri childhood-hometown. Clay County; Jesse James old haints…

    Ripened walnuts
    fallen on deep red clay
    katy-did’s song

    (How do I get one of those jazzy logos?)

  11. Origa says:

    Sorry, Sandra — I meant you, of course, not Rhonda! My brain isn’t work well at 1am 🙂

  12. Sandra Simpson says:

    Wow! Thanks Ashley, what an honour.

    I come from a family of duck shooters, although my brother has given up a couple of seasons back, and have vivid memories of eating wild duck – always with the warning to “watch out for the shot”. I hoped this ku also conveyed some of the tension that may be part of a large family dinner too!

    Hi Origa – I hope you managed to duck! (Isn’t English an odd language?).

    Here’s to an exciting ride with this new renga …

  13. ashleycapes says:

    Of course, Origa! I hope to add more guidelines as we go – possibly even turn over leadership to someone better qualified…but for now I’ll trudge on!

    I do like the 2nd version a lot (of the hundred comments) I think it reads better, has more action.

    I think you’re right, Willie, it does have an autum feel – I could try put up the guideline to an autum kasen I guess? The logo thingy I had to draw first, but much easier than that was the making of a profile with wordpress – then my ID is just there when I post a comment.

    Really like your ku, for #3 Willie, I like where it seems to lead the renku…going to place it now and in the morning see if we can’t find a forth!

    ripened walnuts
    fallen on deep red clay
    katy-did’s song

    This is going really quick, I know, but for a warm up, it’s not going to hurt to be quick!

    Ashley

  14. Thanks Ashley,

    I hope you’re not rushing to conclusions.
    In due time, many great renga writers will arrive.

    May I change my ‘deep’ red clay to ‘baked’?

    Only morning and I ‘m thinking of dinner…

    Willie

    • ashleycapes says:

      Yeah, I am pretty excited and rushing a bit – and you’re right, more writers will come! I’ve made that change, not a problem 🙂
      Hopefully I can rustle up more assistance in the near future

  15. There’s also John Carley’s Renku Reckoner:

    http://uk.geocities.com/johnedmundcarley@btinternet.com/guides_home.htm

    Ooh, that’s a long one link!

    He has a variation that doesn’t include a moon verse right away, plus other seasonal examples.

    Cheers.

    Willie

  16. ashleycapes says:

    Will add the link to the resources page too, Willie – it looks great, I recomend everyone who wants to check it out along with the rest of the resources, especially Keiji’s notes at Cordite

  17. Rhonda says:

    Hi Ashley – sorry didn’t know when I submitted the ku that ‘flew into my head’ that it was to be a possible for a new renga – In giving myself time to contemplate I might’ve written something like this –

    ‘tar and sand
    his leathery old hands’

    Hi to Origa, Sandra and Willie – Bandit – enjoyed all three of your ku – ‘Ripened walnuts’ and ‘the ping of lead shot’ Origa I liked your second version better

  18. Rhonda says:

    might I suggest a lead- on now

    ‘old leathery hands
    shape the dough’

  19. Rhonda says:

    sorry – didn’t need the talkers –

    old leathery hands
    shape the dough

  20. Origa says:

    Hi everyone, I’ll try for the next ku:

    ripened walnuts
    fallen on baked red clay
    katy-did’s song
    (bandit)

    her soul in the eyes
    of the possum and mine

    Ashley & Rhonda, thanks for the opinions on my ku.

  21. Sandra Simpson says:

    ripened walnuts
    fallen on baked red clay
    katy-did’s song
    (bandit)

    the day of her wedding
    one more swing under the trees

  22. ashleycapes says:

    Rhonda, no problems at all! All subs are totally welcome, really like your ‘shaping’ ku, a beautiful image!

    Ok, I have some good news for us – Graham Nunn has agreed to take over selection of this renga and I know from working with him before how great he’ll be at it. So from #4 on, Graham will choose ku and I’ll stick around to maintain the site and contribute a bit too.

    Please keep posting!
    Ashley

    Oh, and it’s possible that we’ll start fresh – as I feel it is rude to give Graham the reins and then not let him start it! But that’s something we can discuss, so please do…. 🙂

  23. Ash,

    Since you asked, I have no problems whatsoever with a restart-

    What’d I tell ya, pal?-the house is a rockin’!

    Willie

  24. g’day all

    How many options do you permit?

    I’d like to participate but am unsure what the previous verses are which makes it difficult. You mean you have already chosen the first three? The moon is supposedly #2 but I don’t see it anywhere or have I missed it

    So, this must be #4 option after bandit…

    ripened walnuts
    fallen on baked red clay
    katy-did’s song (bandit)

    flat on her back
    the full moon gazes on

    • ashleycapes says:

      Hi Barbara! Great ku, really love the clever play on noun/pronoun 🙂

      Sorry about the delay in the response, great to have you here!

      Yes, I’ve put the first few up in ‘Current Renku’ page – but did this before we decided to move to a formal Autumn kasen.

      Further to this, I’ve asked Graham Nunn to take over as leader, which is fantastic, I think, and we may yet start afresh, as I think Graham ought to start us off.

      So, please keep an eye on us!

  25. Rhonda says:

    Hi all – doesn’t worry me either – which way – its all learning isnt it?

  26. Sandra Simpson says:

    ripened walnuts
    fallen on baked red clay
    katy-did’s song
    (bandit)

    cleaning out her house –
    a drawer of untested recipes

  27. Sandra Simpson says:

    Which, by the way, will be what happens to me!

    I wonder, Willie, whether your ku might benefit from a couple of minor changes to make it a little more “active”, eg,

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay,
    a katy-did’s song

    I hasten to add that it’s okay as is, these suggestions are merely pondering what might be read as passive/past tense.

    What do you think?

  28. ashleycapes says:

    Yes, right you are, Willie! 🙂 Great to have things cookin here, I’m very happy!

    Thanks to you and to Rhonda for letting me know what you think about the re-start possibility, we’ll see what Graham thinks and go from there!

  29. ashleycapes says:

    Hey Ashley, Sandra, Bandit! So nice to see you and your work! Just thinking about the autumn and what might happen while others are dining…

    kissed my first boyfriend
    in a leaf-pile

    (Joseph Mueller)

    Just posting Joseph’s ku here in case any one missed it on the other page. Really like the simplicity and directness of this one!

  30. Dear Sandra,

    Thanks for the suggestions. I mean really!
    Typically I would avoid -ing endings, but as you say, ‘falling’ or ‘fall’ bring the action into the present.
    Let me say it out loud both ways…
    The article before ‘katy-did’s song’ is better, also, creating a better “cut”, I feel.
    Good on ya, girl!

    Rhythmically, is falling more pleasing? Oh, and ripe or ripened?

    When I was six i didn’t say ripened, for that matter.

    ripe walnuts
    fall on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song

    Ever hear a walnut fall on hard, cracked clay, the heat pulsing upward in waves, blackbirds calling, and that chorus of cicadas just droning…?

    Gah… take me back. I feel a haibun comin’ on…

    Oy! ( it’s early; I’m goofy, yet) Ya’ll better come to our
    Moon Viewing Party. Saturday’s the full moon, though it has a wonderful imperfect shape, now.
    Click on my moniker for directions. No limits have been set
    for submissions.

  31. Sandra Simpson says:

    Oooh, that’s lovely Joseph. Very sensual.

    And I’m glad I could be of some help Willie.

  32. ashleycapes says:

    Ok, I’ve been talking with Graham and think that we might leave things as they are, as he’s happy to come in with selection from here, but I may just ask him to provide the ageku when we reach the end.

    So, let’s leave attempts at #4 open till Monday (midnight) and see where we are… so over to you, Graham!

    Ashley

    • gnunn says:

      Looking forward to where this renga takes us and keeping in touch with you all.
      Keep the ku coming…

      Graham

  33. Thankyou Ashley, and thankyou Graham.

    I agree with Sandra that falling is much better.

    Here are 2 more options for #4

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay,
    a katy-did’s song (bandit)

    hieroglyphs on the bowl
    of an ancient queen

    or

    R for recession means
    beanz again

  34. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Hi, Ashles, more thanks for this new beginning.
    Bandit, I bilieve that ripe is the best, because there was two .

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay,
    a katy-did’s song
    (Bandit)

    the last leaf covering
    a squirrel’s hallow
    or
    over the golden sands
    silver flowers of frost
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  35. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Sorry! Please add after the second line: . Thanks.VM

  36. Jeffrey Harpeng says:

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay,
    a katy-did’s song

    as he hands it to her
    her hand pulls away

    or

    he opens his hand into
    her hand pulls away

  37. lorin says:

    good Autumn opening ku, Ashley… and Sandra, ‘duck!’ indeed 🙂

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song

    …excellent revision! L2 now acts like a hinge, opening the ku out to both L1 and L3. (sometimes referred to as the ‘pivot’ structure) I’m more used to seeing ‘katydid’ without the hyphen.

    Vasile, a query: ‘hallow’…do you mean ‘hollow’ or ‘hole’, perhaps?

    Coming late here after computer problems and much catch-up on many things. Good to see this renga off and running!

    I’ll have a go at submitting ku when I can think again.

  38. lorin says:

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song (bandit)

    his heirloom copper kettle
    out of the tool shed

  39. ashleycapes says:

    Great to see you here, Lorin! And a great ku, too, it’s got a powerful link through colour and I like the emotional shift too

  40. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Of course, Lorin, I wanted to write hollow not hallow.Sorry!

  41. ashleycapes says:

    Hi Vasile, the ‘silver flowers’ ku, startling burst of colour there!

    And welcome Jeffrey!

  42. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Ashley and Everyone – Ashley congratulations on your site – it has a beautiful look – and how good to have Graham as the leader.

    a try:

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song (bandit)

    slow wings of the sea eagle –
    weighty silver in its talons

  43. lorin says:

    hey, Ashley… ‘copper kettle’ …it’s a nod to the autumn activities in Bandit’s ku & an extension. These aren’t the sort of kettles for boiling water for a cup of tea 🙂 … plainly speaking, in Australia, we’d call it a still. But the euphemism was at one time necessary… licensing laws… no home brews allowed! The kettles went into production [& probably still do] right after the grain harvest [Autumn]

    Squirrels store those falling/fallen walnuts for their Winter, and humans tend to want to provide a little something for themselves against the coming cold, too. 🙂

  44. lorin says:

    Hi Ashley, trying the next logical step. (please excuse and ignore this post, everyone else0

  45. Sandra Simpson says:

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song (bandit)

    practising his golf swing –
    every toadstool topless

  46. Keiji says:

    Hi, Ashley. I posted my first message on another page.
    Would you delete it if possible? Sorry!
    (I thought it was strange since there were too few comments there… A small group might have a lot of advantages over a larger one, though.)

    So you are trying a traditional type of renga!
    I’m glad to see that because we (consciously & unconsciously) failed to follow important, valid rules
    in the haikunaut renga.

    I feel so relaxed, exempt from the task of leadership!
    But, of course, leading fine writers gives you
    such a pleasure, so have fun, Graham!

    Okay, let me join in! Following Willie’s,

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building

  47. Rhonda says:

    Hi Willie (bandit) I really like your ku – ‘ripe walnuts/falling on baked red clay/a katy-did’s song’ – in my dictionary it has ‘katydid’ – your choice of course but I think I prefer ‘katydid’

  48. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hmmm – I’ve realized my ku is another ‘bird’ one – after Sandra’s ‘bird’ one two before – so perhaps I’d better think again.

  49. lorin says:

    Sandra, your topless toadstools gives me a smile.

    …another go:

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song (bandit)

    he greets his newborn son
    with a rebel yell

  50. Genevieve Osborne says:

    the cliffs are sheer – the path
    loose and crumbly

  51. lorin says:

    …and a third… [Ashley or Graham, are the submissions limited the a certain number in this renga, or not?]

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song (bandit)

    Mason jars lined up
    along the sideboard

  52. lorin says:

    hmmm…perhaps that last one should be withdrawn, for linking back a bit to Sandra’s dining room table?

  53. lorin says:

    ripe walnuts
    falling on baked red clay
    a katy-did’s song (bandit)

    the crackle of children’s
    cellophane wings

  54. Genevieve Osborne says:

    three bunches of roses
    delivered to the door

  55. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi lorin, I love your ku – ‘the crackle of children’s/cellophane wings’

  56. ashleycapes says:

    Hi again everyone! Nice to have your here, Keiji! Yes, I got some early feedback and we thought it best to use a formal structure (and I thought it would help me too, when I was going to lead) hope it works out to be just as fun as at Cordite! (no problems, can delete that for you 🙂 )

    Good to see it works, Lorin 😉 Great ‘wings’ ku too!

    Hi Rhonda, if Willie is happy, I can fix up that hyphen as it may read easier?

    Really enjoying the ku here – thank you everyone for spending time here!

    Ashley

    Oh, perhaps a limit of 4 & 4, 4 tries at each link and 4 spaces available for each poet in the renga – as we have a smaller amount of writers to draw from thus far

  57. ashleycapes says:

    Hi Genevieve, love the ‘crumbly’ ku, there, a nice touch of danger

  58. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Ashley – thank you – so nice to be here in this renga 🙂

    another try:

    she wears a hat
    that hides her eyes

  59. Rhonda says:

    Hi everybody – Gen, I’m so pleased I havn’t lost you – and hi to Keiji – yes you must feel relaxed – no doubt though you enjoyed leading the renga, you do have to keep an eye on many things – there are many nice ku happening for this verse –
    in too much of a hurry to make comment but just leaving a couple, to follow bandit’s –

    in my liquidambar
    empty nests

    the white-faced kitten
    tosses a peach stone

  60. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Rhonda – definitely haven’t lost me – I’m happily here in the new renga home – and thanks to Ashley for making it! – and hi to Keiji too.

  61. ashleycapes says:

    My pleasure! I’m really happy you’ve all come 😉

  62. Genevieve Osborne says:

    one more:

    she’s climbing to her tree house
    things seem clearer up there

  63. Vasile Moldovan says:

    One more:

    not one singing bird
    in the evergreen wood
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  64. Ashley and company,

    Yes, I’m happy. Glad to see so many responses, Ash’!

    Pardon the fuss on my submission; dashed it off too quickly, initially. Could it have been the moon?

    Everyone here has been uptight all week-people arguing,
    bickering-had a young gansta point his pitbull at me this weekend for some imagined slight. I didn’t know who I’d have to do first! The poor dog meant me no harm, though.
    Life in the big city, baby.

    I like the peaceful vision of the kitten with the peach stone,
    for obvious reasons, and those cellophane wings knock me out, man.

    The rebel yell is a bit of an homage to my birthplace, Lorin.
    But when my son was born, I think I just cried like a baby!

  65. lorin says:

    Hi Keiji 🙂 ..it’s great that you’re here. This is subtle and wry, and gives me a smile:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building … Keiji

    … relating to katydids and other insect sounds, yes, a lot of endless chatter & debate happening in there when Parliament is in session 🙂

  66. lorin says:

    Hi Willie… you must find a way to get ‘pointing his pitbull at me’ or the likes into a ku … great expression, and in your voice. 🙂

  67. Rhonda says:

    Hi Willie – I agree with Lorin – the moment I read your line ‘Life in the big city baby’ – I thought WOW – there’s almost a ku – over to you Willie – see if you can make it happen Lorin I like your ‘parliament’ ku and Gen I like your ‘tree house’ and Vasile ‘not one bird singing’ I too like

    just thought of one more while I was going through these

    playing his bugle
    a knob-kneed boy

  68. Rhonda says:

    Hi Genevieve – I want to ask you – and I hope Ashley and Graham don’t mind – are you the same Genevieve who wrote the very stirring poem ‘The Sea Corpse’ – a poem which I saw recently

  69. Rhonda says:

    OOps – sorry Keiji – it is your ku ‘parliament’ that I like – not Lorin’s

  70. Rhonda says:

    Lorin I like your ‘Mason jars’ – though I’m not sure what they are – i get a sense of an old stone jar? ‘every topless toadstool’ – yes good Sandra –

  71. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Rhonda, Yes I’m the one who wrote ‘The Sea Corpse’ 🙂

  72. Hey Rhonda,

    A mason jar is a vegetable canning jar; Ol’ Mr. Mason and Mr. Kerr produced them from the 19th century on, I believe.
    We put up 30 quarts of tomatoes last year, but alas, no mixed vegetable relishes, spicy with peppers and garlic.

    As for the big city, ‘a razor in my pocket and an ice pick up my sleeve’ might be a few too many words. I don’t see where they would fit into this gentle forum.

    Conversed with a guy who said critiques of his poems made him want to start a knife fight; now that’s some serious s##t!

  73. ashleycapes says:

    Hey Willie, I think the idea of ‘pointing the pitbull’ could work as a great ku in the right place – it sums up the poor behaviour of some folks so well!

    • gnunn says:

      Thank you so much everyone for all of the incredible ku written for link #4.

      My favourites from this selection were:

      the crackle of children’s
      cellophane wings (lorin)

      my bike by the fence
      of the parliament building (Keiji)

      hieroglyphs on the bowl
      of an ancient queen (Barbara Taylor)

      kissed my first boyfriend
      in a leaf-pile (Joseph Mueller)

      Each of these has a distinct sound that caught my ear and it was a sound that I was looking for to continue on from the katy-did’s song. So, I have gone with Keiji’s ‘my bike by the fence’ to shift from the natural sound of the katy-did to the incessant debate of parliament. Such a beautiful contrast in sounds. I am really looking forward to where people take this… link #5 is 3 lines – Winter.

      The door is wide open and I can’t wait to see where it leads…

      Graham

  74. I’ll go for shape-

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliment building /keiji

    our white breaths
    form question marks
    in the air

  75. oh, sorry-mornin, Graham

  76. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Keiji San, thank you for this very good turn. Between autumn and winter a nonseasonal verse is welcome. Here is my reply:

    my bike by the fence
    on the parliment building
    (Keiji)

    coming out
    more people speak loudly…
    the sparrows’ silent
    or
    unwaited courrier
    on the vine of ivy
    a spider with cross
    or
    White House’s roof
    grizzling overnight-
    first hoar-frost

    defect bell-
    a little owl’s cry
    more and more loudly
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  77. Keiji says:

    Wow, thank you Graham for choosing my ku.
    Now I see you are all addicted, mates!

    All the three other ku Graham mentioned in his comment are excellent. I particularly like Lorin’s

    the crackle of children’s
    cellophane wings

    I saw my students doing that in class today!

    Tomorrow I’ll teach Dickenson and Whitman, so I’m now reading “The Song of Myself.” It’s long, but many lines like the following one have haiku feelings.

    “A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books.”

  78. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Good Morning Everyone – congratulations Keiji – your ku is very apt for us – the budget was delivered yesterday so there’s a lot of ‘sound’ in and all around parliament.

    a winter try to follow:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    the bell
    is muffled
    by snow

  79. lorin says:

    Hi Rhonda… the oldest Mason jar I have [glass, with a lead screw-on lid] has ‘Mason’ in large letters of raised glass on it. They’re still making them… without the lead lids. The newest I have are Canadian. They’re the equivalent of our Vacola jars. I decided to use ‘mason jars’ as a nod to Willie, that’s all.

  80. lorin says:

    Congratulations, Keiji…I’ve already said how much and why I liked your ku in relation to Willie’s.

    My goodness, though…you’re teaching Whitman and Dickenson to students who show up to class wearing ‘fairy’ wings? 🙂 The mind boggles!

  81. ashleycapes says:

    Congratulations, Keiji! An impressive bunch of primary studnets you have there 🙂

    Keep em coming everyone!

  82. Genevieve Osborne says:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    coming in
    from a bitter morning –
    the contented pot-belly

  83. lorin says:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    a magpie watches
    spandex and lycra
    jog over frost

  84. Rhonda says:

    Hi Keiji – congratulations – a good ku – thanks bandit and Lorin – Lorin if you had said Vacola I would’ve known – Mum had her pantry full with them every winter – Its a lovely poem Genevieve

  85. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Thank you Rhonda 🙂

  86. g’day all

    Congrats Keiji!

    My winter offerings:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliment uilding /keiji

    hibernation—
    a coiled python
    chills out

    or

    it is obligatory
    to wear chains
    on the Alpine Way

    or

    on frosted steps
    the raucous galahs
    mixing with galahs

  87. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Congrats Keiji!

    I sent these offerings earlier but I don’t see them, so I am sending again.

    Peace and Love

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (keiji)

    hibernation—
    a coiled python
    chills out

    or

    it is obligatory
    to wear chains
    on the Alpine Way

    or

    on frosted steps
    the raucous galahs
    mixing with galahs

    • ashleycapes says:

      Hi Barbara! Thanks for being persistant with the site – not sure why it’s doing that to you – I’ve found 2 comments in the ‘spam’ queue, and had to approve you twice, which is not normal. Funny that your third post went through…anyway, my problem, not yours, I will watch the comments moderation most closely.
      Ashley

  88. Keiji says:

    To Lorin

    > … relating to katydids and other insect sounds, yes, a lot of endless chatter & debate happening in there when Parliament is in session.
    To be honest, I didn’t think of the sound when I wrote my ku. Your reading made it much, much better. Thanks!

    > My goodness, though…you’re teaching Whitman and Dickenson to students who show up to class wearing ‘fairy’ wings?
    Ouch, I completely misread your ku. In what way, I’d rather not say that… Still, I like your ku.

    I like Barbara’s “coiled pison,” sleeping like my bike.

  89. Rhonda says:

    to follow keiji’s ‘my bike by the fence/of the parliament building’ –

    a vegemite jar
    in a shopping trolley
    in the creek

    here comes Miss Poppins
    bobbing along
    with her umbrella

    grape vines
    naked as smiling
    newsreaders

  90. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Thank you Rhonda.
    I dislake your umbrella because it is a summer kigo.
    But I like more your “grape vines”. This sintagma is realy a late autumn or early winter kigo. It is welcome in this moment. Because I have not your grape vines I will drink a cupful of water.Go on.This is the best way.

  91. lorin says:

    hmmm…Vasile, ‘umbrella’ would not be a summer ‘kigo’ or seasonal reference for Australia [where Summers are dry, except in the tropics] unless it was qualified in some way…eg ‘beach umbrella’. We need to know about Japanese kigo, but we can’t adopt them wholesale and at the same time remain authentic to place.

    Rhonda! 🙂 you must let me know which channel you watch for the news… obviously, I’m missing out on something quite entertaining.

  92. lorin says:

    I’m adding a word to my unsatisfactory effort of this morning, hoping to rescue it somewhat:

    a magpie watches
    as spandex and lycra
    jog over frost

  93. ashleycapes says:

    Just checking the discussion on kigo and think it might be worth anyone nipping over to the Haiku Dreaming site for John Bird’s interesting thoughts

    http://users.mullum.com.au/jbird/dreaming/ozku-about-kigo.html

    Please feel free to dicuss it here too, I thought it may stir up some opinions? ;P

    ‘Grape vines’ is an impressive ku, Rhonda!

  94. Rhonda says:

    Hi Vasile – I appreciate your comments – re my ‘umbrella’ ku – I’m going on what happens on wet wintery days in my town/small city – of course people bring out their ‘brellas on wet summer/autumn/spring days too – but in winter the sensible ‘umbrellaist’ would have one with him/her all the time (at least that was before this ongoing drought) – the ku was a kind of off-cut to Keiji’s ‘bike’ – with my reference to ‘Poppins’ – is it possible the umbrella could be a way of getting around as Mary Poppins did? – anyway I think of Mary Poppins when I see an umbrella moving briskly along the footpath – as if it might take off any moment –
    Lorin – there was a news report, recently re naked newsreaders – I believe in New Zealand there has been one for ten years – I think there is also someone in France – I believe the set up is that they start off as normal reading the news (serious news reports) and gradually remove garments until they are pretty much starkers – perhaps some one else knows more about them

  95. Rhonda says:

    Hi Ashley – thank you for your comment on my ku – can I contribute one more? I think you said up to 4

    a horse in its rug
    tied up outside
    the seniors’ club

  96. ashleycapes says:

    Yes, absolutely! 🙂

  97. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Ashley – thank you for the link and the interesting thoughts on ‘kigo’ – I’m certainly learning a great deal about haiku and renga.

    …so a try – thinking along Australian lines for a cold winter’s night:

    clear sky –
    it’s a three dog night
    for the drover

  98. Genevieve Osborne says:

    or perhaps:

    westerly –
    it’s a three dog night
    for the drover

  99. Origa says:

    Hi renga friends! So good to see you all in the new challenge!

    I’ll fully participate in all the discussions a little bit later, and for now, allow me to throw in a ku following Keiji’s;

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    Thai restaurant —
    inside ‘all you can eat’ menu
    unknown bugs

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves

    frosty night …
    a quiet chiming from above
    starlight

  100. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Rhonda, I like your ‘grape vines’ and ‘a horse in its rug’ and Lorin your ‘a magpie watches’ and Origa your ‘rolling thunder’ and ‘frosty night/a quiet chiming from above/starlight’ and Bandit you ‘our white breaths/form question marks/in the air’.

  101. Sandra Simpson says:

    Naked newsreaders in New Zealand! We may be resourceful and stoical and bloody good at sport, but this sounds one puekeko short of a picnic (if I may mangle my idioms).
    Actually, there was a naked newsreader and, quite sadly I thought, she happened to be from the town where I live (and yes, naturally it was a woman – a naked male newsreader might be more naked but not quite as titillating, if you’ll pardon the expression). She first sprang (ahem) to prominence streaking at a rugby game and this was her next venture. Amazingly, the naked newsreading didn’t catch on and it has all gone away again. Certainly didn’t last for 10 years – more like a five-minute wonder.
    Haiku to follow …

  102. Sandra Simpson says:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    the wood basket
    empty now
    our arguments

    a pattern of sparks
    flying up the chimney
    my childhood nights

    the sound of a train
    from twenty miles away –
    my father covers the potatoes

  103. Sandra Simpson says:

    BTW Rhonda I would see “umbrella” as a winter word, and “Mary Poppins” kind of reinforces that as, despite the daft picnic with Dick van Dyke, I always seem to remember the film with autumn/winter tones – dark colours, leaves blowing round the streets, etc.

  104. Genevieve Osborne says:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    white-out
    on the mountain – where
    is the cliff edge?

  105. Magdalena Dale says:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    The last leaves
    and the first hoar frost
    on the ground

    On my way…
    sheltered by the winter rain
    a man and a dog

    A raven’s shadow
    on the last fallen leaves –
    this murky sky

  106. Anne Elvey says:

    Hi all,
    Thanks for setting this up Ashley.
    What a different feel this renku/renga has to the Cordite one already.

    An offering:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    slowly revolving
    the constellations
    turn to frost

  107. Keiji Minato says:

    I read Mr John Bird’s article with much interest. Thank you Ashley! Here’s my thoughts on kigo (It must be too long for a comment. Sorry!):

    Kigo has been a big unresolved issue for Japanese haijin too. Some haiku masterpieces written in the 20th century are without one, and today most Japanese haijin don’t deny you can write wonderful haiku without seasonal references.
    I don’t intend to say the last word for the topic, but here is some looking back at our tradition:
    Japanese imported the idea of seasonal themes (or four seasons) from China (though that took place so long time ago!). Early tanka writers had fun with the gap between the Chinese almanac and their own seasonal feelings. In other words, literary seasonal references for them were fictional, and it took hundreds of years to pile up enough Japanese literary works to sufficiently fit seasonal themes as a literary device to the reality in Japan.
    In a sense, renga and haikai seem to have gone back to this fictionality of seasonal references. While a hokku (first verse) should reflect the occasion, other seasons that appear along the renga are “imagined,” or literarily constructed. Probably, haijin in the Edo era were very conscious of such fictionality of kigo. Furthermore, Basho says that even hokku do not need to be on seasonal themes; some would hopefully be on the theme of love (, but, unfortunately, he did not write a hokku on love…).
    After the Westernization, modern haijin kind of purified the idea of kigo to separate the genre of haiku from haikai (which accommodates both haikai(renku) and independent hokku). In a sense, they “modernized” the haikai tradition by dashing out the fictionality of kigo, which had made the playfulness of haikai possible, and identifying a literary device with reality.
    There were several movements toward muki haiku (haiku without seasonal references), but most Japanese haiku writers tend to stick to kigo even now. Some say that’s because seasonal references are “natural” for Japanese, but I doubt that. It seems that young haiku writers don’t trust the view kigo really reflect our reality but make use of them as a fictional device supported by the text accumulated in the past.
    Sure, a literary device cannot work without its link with reality. It also cannot be equated with the real world, though. Seasonal references in Japanese literature have never been without the gap between literary and real, and in my opinion such a gap has been enlivening our tradition.

    Seasonal themes in other countries? Oh, I could only say it depends…

    • ashleycapes says:

      Keiji, thank you for this! It’s great to get a sense of kigo’s history, and I’d never really thought of them as having the duality of fiction/reality, so thank you!

      And I like what you’ve said about ‘gap[s]’ – the spaces between traditions, where they meet and re-work themselves, is always exciting I think

      • gnunn says:

        First up I have to say how much I am enjoying reading all of the ku submitted and the discussion around kigo has been really rich. Thanks to Ashley for providing the initial link to John Bird’s Dreaming site and to Keiji for his response. The selection process for link #5 has been a really tough one. So many good poems, but where to take the renga next…

        The ku that kept drawing me back were:

        rolling thunder …
        clouds just about to fall
        from the eaves (Origa)

        a horse in its rug
        tied up outside
        the seniors’ club (Rhonda)

        a magpie watches
        as spandex and lycra
        jog over frost (Lorin)

        coming in
        from a bitter morning –
        the contented pot-belly (Genevieve)

        our white breaths
        form question marks
        in the air (Bandit)

        Bandit’s ‘white breath’ was a haunting image. The stillness of this poem really resonated with me. Rhonda’s horse ku captured the fragility of age and the warmth of Genevieve’s contented pot belly took me back to my grandmother’s home and the dinner’s we shared around her kitchen table. And Lorin’s watchful magpie was a wonderful reminder of the at times comical ways we adorn ourselves in our quest for improved fitness. But, after much deliberation, I have chosen Origa’s ‘rolling thunder…’ ku for link #5. This is an ominous poem… the lowering sky and guttural rumble creating it’s own claustrophobic beauty.

        Thank you all again for your contributions and I look forward to seeing where link #6 leads us.

        Graham

  108. Genevieve Osborne says:

    one more try:

    my bike by the fence
    of the parliament building (Keiji)

    startling against
    the snow –
    crimson rosella

  109. Rhonda says:

    Hi everyone – Sandra – yes it seems the naked newsreader has been ‘exposed’ – parden the pun – though the Aus news report I saw certainly didn’t mention everything – gimmick? or not – apparently it was tried – by the named woman – therefore my ‘grape vine’ ku still stands – besides all this, I’ve worked with grape vines for several years now, in the season of Winter, and one thing I’ve noticed, as an observing writer I suppose, is that they all have their own individual personalities – their own stance/looks – believe it or not – and some of them do look ahead like newsreaders!

  110. Rhonda says:

    Hi Sandra – I didn’t mean that I thought you were critiquing my ku when I said ‘therefore…’ I was only trying to put forward some of my thoughts –

  111. Vasile Moldovan says:

    rolling thunder
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves
    (Origa)

    even under the clothes line
    feathers of sparrow in love
    or
    bride’s dress hangs out to dry
    among the swadding clothes
    or
    after the winter rain
    sparrows fly everwhere
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  112. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Congratulations Origa on your lovely thundery ku.

    Thank you Graham for your comments on my ku – I’m glad it sparked happy memories – and thank you Keiji for all your information – there’s a lot to think about.

    Hi Anne – I liked your ‘slowly revolving constellations’ ku very much.

  113. Genevieve Osborne says:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    the latch of the door makes
    a slow click as she leaves

  114. Rhonda says:

    Hi Origa – a lovely ku – congratulations – and hi Anne – I was hoping you would come aboard our renga ship

  115. I like this one, Origa.
    Reminds me of when snow fell off the roof and covered me head to foot. I heard it coming but I was frozen to the spot.

    rolling thunder
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves /Origa

    catfish frozen solid in
    the mighty mississippi

  116. ashleycapes says:

    Welcome Anne, my pleasure!

  117. lorin says:

    whooh! 🙂 …much has been happening while I’ve been a bit too busy to look in!

    Congratulations, Origa… very evocative in fits beautifully in context.

    Keiji, thank you so much for expressing your knowledge about kigo. It seems to be such a huge thing, involving the culture and literary culture of Japan. How long it must take to build a ‘kigo culture’, and to have an educated sense of it, too, would take much study. How to adapt it, too, in concept, to the haiku-in-English of the various countries, cultures and climates we live in, and also the two hemispheres is also something we are looking at and trying to come to grips with.

    “Sure, a literary device cannot work without its link with reality. It also cannot be equated with the real world, though. Seasonal references in Japanese literature have never been without the gap between literary and real, and in my opinion such a gap has been enlivening our tradition.”

    That gap [well said!] is a fascinating and fruitful area.

  118. lorin says:

    o, and I think this is so important to realise, too:

    “…it took hundreds of years to pile up enough Japanese literary works to sufficiently fit seasonal themes as a literary device to the reality in Japan.” Keiji

    Western ‘haiku & related’ is still very much a baby in nappies…which need changing quite often 🙂

  119. lorin says:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    her father’s low view
    of the twice-her-age boyfriend

  120. Anne Elvey says:

    Thanks for the welcome and comments.
    The more I read your “rolling thunder…” ku, Origa, the more I see in it. Great choice.

    A few offerings:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    suddenly a rainbow
    climbs out of the sea

    the salmon leap
    where the bear waits

  121. Anne Elvey says:

    and…

    inside Turner paints
    light in the wind

  122. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    I wonder about the repetition of fall in the previous verses?

    Anyways, here’s me go:

    rolling thunder
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves
    (Origa)
    a lucky six
    I get to throw again

    or

    the tabby clawing
    at a curtain of pearls

    or

    thanks to Thor
    it’s Adam’s lucky day

    peace and love
    B

  123. Origa says:

    Thank you for choosing my haiku, Graham — I feel very lucky, as there were many very strong haiku this time around. You are right about ominous — I feel it too…

    Thanks friends, for your kind words. I appreciate all comments, and will try to attend later with my own. It’s a very hard time for me, and haiku make it a little bit more bearable. It feels good to come to place like this, where the atmosphere of friendship based on our love for haiku, feels almost physical.

    Throwing a ku just for fun:

    a puppy by the hose
    shakes off a rainbow

  124. Sandra Simpson says:

    A lovely ku Origa, very image-driven but with that great sound in there too.

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    power cut –
    we all become kids

    or

    mulching down the last of the plants
    the sweet smell of straw

  125. Genevieve Osborne says:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    hail stones clattering on the tin roof –
    oh, my perfect tomatoes

  126. lorin says:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps

  127. lorin says:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    the king asks Cordelia
    how much she loves him

  128. lorin says:

    “I wonder about the repetition of fall in the previous verses?” Barbara

    yes, I did, too, Barbara… 3. Willie’s ‘ripe walnuts falling’, 5. Olga’s ‘clouds just about to fall’. But it’s Graham’s call, as ‘renga master’.

  129. ashleycapes says:

    so, a language rep rather than a thematic one, perhaps?

  130. ashleycapes says:

    here’s something I saw earlier, seemed winter-ish

    in the gutter
    junk mail going white

  131. Sandra Simpson says:

    Nice observation re the junk mail Ashley.

  132. Rhonda says:

    Hi everyone – oohh some nice ku tabled – here’s a contribution to follow Origa’s –

    over the she-oakes
    a sleet storm roars

    all of the stars….kidnapped
    by this heavy night

    the cats parading
    in their best fluffy coats

  133. Rhonda says:

    Hi everyone – I think the repetition re fall is because this is an autumn renga – Ashley is that correct? I don’t really understand the set-up but I think that was mentioned earlier – is that how it can be with renga? Different themes?

    • ashleycapes says:

      Thanks Sandra and Rhonda! So much of the stuff – one of the last things I expected to find poetic!

      I think that’s right, Rhonda – we’ll end up revisting seasons and themes throughout the process

      Also, a fantastic ku with the ‘stars’ and ‘cats’ – and so too Geneveive’s poor tomatos!

      And I liked Sandra’s ‘straw’ ku and Lorin’s clever goosebump/opal combination.

      This’ll be hard for Graham again, I bet 🙂

  134. Rhonda says:

    Ashley I really like your ‘junk mail’ and Lorin your ‘Cordelia’
    and Anne your ‘salmon’ and ‘rainbow’ ku are lovely and Barbara ‘curtain of pearls’ is very nice – I’ve just seen Willie’s ‘catfish’ ku – good one – so many lovely images

  135. lorin says:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    though the stage is icy
    taiko drummers!

  136. Rhonda says:

    sliding between satin sheets
    cold as ice

  137. lorin says:

    well, I’ve done my four for this lot, now.

    These are a few wintry ku that work very well here for me [in no particular order]: Anne’s : ‘inside Turner paints/ light in the wind’, Ashley’s ‘in the gutter/ junk mail going white’, Rhonda’s ‘the cats parading/ in their best fluffy coats

  138. Sandra Simpson says:

    rolling thunder …
    clouds just about to fall
    from the eaves (Origa)

    covered in a fine layer of white,
    house painters

    (this is what’s happening here this morning)

    a rattle of hail on the roof
    we stop arguing

  139. Anne Elvey says:

    Thanks Rhonda and Lorin for your comments.

    I, too, like Barbara’s “curtain of pearls” and a few of the others I enjoyed: Sandra’s “house painters”, Genevieve’s “tomatoes”, Ashley’s “junk mail”, Lorin’s “opal pendant/goosebumps”, and Rhonda’s “kidnapped stars”…

  140. Genevieve Osborne says:

    another thought:

    rotating by the camp fire –
    front.. back.. front.. back

  141. Rhonda says:

    Hi Genevieve – I like your ‘camp fire’ – actually I had a similar thought but couldn’t put it together – yours is so well done

  142. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Rhonda – thank you -and I love your ‘over the she-oaks/a sleet storm roars’ and ‘…stars kidnapped/by this heavy night’.

    Also lorin’s ‘Cordelia’, Willie’s ‘catfish’, Anne’s ‘inside Turner paints/light in the wind’, Sandra’s ‘sweet smell of straw’, Ashley’s ‘junk mail’ … and more…but it’s getting a bit late – (topsy-turvy time) – and it’s pouring and I have to somehow try and stop the possum from eating my pansies…

  143. Genevieve Osborne says:

    hmmm – perhaps just one more:

    in the midnight rain – the possum
    eating my pansies

  144. Genevieve Osborne says:

    …also, I think my ‘tomatoes’ might be a bit long – so perhaps this way:

    hail pummelling the tin roof –
    my perfect tomatoes

  145. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Sorry! I don’t understand. Nothing. Mea culpa. But please admite to try once again:

    rolling thunder…
    clouds just about to rain
    from the eaves
    (Origa Hooper)

    a death-like silence…
    this luminosity
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  146. Anne Elvey says:

    I like the possums and the new tomatoes, Genevieve. It hardly ever pours here in Melbourne these days!

    Vasile, “luminosity” is very evocative of the light after rain. Something like the way Turner paints light.

    I like the juxtaposition of bridal dress and swaddling clothes, too — interesting.

    a fourth .from me…

    in the aftermath
    an albatross rides the wind

    • gnunn says:

      Well it is decision time again… and this just doesn’t get any easier. It was an absolute pleasure to read through this group of poems. So many moments of intense clarity. And again the discussion has been rich. Thanks again to Keiji for shedding some light on the use of the terms renga and renku. So good to have this space to have these conversations.

      So my favourites for this round. Well there are many.

      in the gutter
      junk mail going white (Ashley)

      This image really struck me and while I don’t often see frosts here in Brisbane, it brought back images of my time in Western QLD working in a one teacher school where it was not uncommon in winter for the front steps to still have a good few centimetres of frost on them at 9am. A beautifully realised image.

      an opal pendant
      rests on her goosebumps (Lorin)

      This is so sensual Lorin. I have read and re-read this many times.

      inside Turner paints
      light in the wind (Anne)

      Light is a fascination of mine and the use of light in poetry even more so. A wonderful poem Anne.

      all of the stars… kidnapped
      by this heavy night (Rhonda)

      Last night here in Brisbane, the night sky kept all of its stars hidden. This captures it perfectly.

      catfish frozen solid in
      the mighty mississippi (Bandit)

      While I have never seen anything like this Bandit, this creates the image perfectly. And catfish such a quirky creature. I can imagine the pattern and shape of their whiskers.

      the latch of the door makes
      a slow click as she leaves (Genevieve)

      And this is so subtle… so much potential to leap forward from here.

      bride’s dress hangs out to dry
      among the swaddling clothes (Vasile)

      And this intensely powerful. The conflicting image of the bride and the babe, hanging together on the line.

      power cut –
      we all become kids (Sandra)

      The playful nature of this image really hit me. I immediately reconnected with the frenzy that so often accompanies a power outage.

      the tabby clawing
      at a curtain of pearls (Barbara)

      In this poem I was drawn to the whiteness of the pearls and their connection to the lowering clouds in the previous image. And for me, there was also the sound of the pearls rattling against the wall as the tabby clawed at them echoing the rolling thunder.

      So, as you can see, I have struggled to come up with a decision. Each of these poems would take the renku in its owen unique direction.

      OK…

      Link #6 will be:

      an opal pendant
      rests on her goosebumps (Lorin)

      Thank you all again for sharing your words. I look forward to the next round of poems. Link #7 is 3 lines misc.

      Graham

  147. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Anne, thanks for your coments.
    I like “in the aftermath”. A good link with Origa’s thunder.

  148. Rhonda says:

    HI Lorin – congratulations – great image – and thank you Graham for your comment re my ‘star’ ku

  149. Keiji Minato says:

    I love the sutle moves in this renga (much more subtle than a bit festive “Haikunaut Island Renga”). Origa’s “rolling thunder” and Lorin’s “opal pendant” certainly echo, but it’s hard to fathom their deep resonances…
    Okay, I will be the first to post a ku for the 7th (right?):

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (Lorin)

    walking up
    to the lulled ocean
    to its riddle (Keiji)

    BTW, now you can see the Cordite renga on one page:
    http://www.cordite.org.au/poetry/291-haikunaut/haikunaut-island-renga

  150. Keiji Minato says:

    Oh, I should have written “this renku.” Sorry!

  151. lorin says:

    Thanks, Graham … I’m happy you thought it fitted well enough.

    I guess you didn’t have too much trouble seeing exactly where that pendant and the goosebumps are situated on the woman’s body [given Origa’s ‘eaves’] 🙂

    Great to see the ‘haikunauts’ renga on one page, Keiji…but also really good to see that the process, all of the comments, have been preserved, too. The whole of it…such an inspirational thing! Many thanks for bearing with us all throughout the process.

  152. Greg Rochlin says:

    Well good evening everyone. I’ve been looking forward to finding some free time, to join in. So,

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (Lorin)

    a showman
    he takes a bow
    from the bed of nails

    or

    she dreams
    of the glove
    on her other hand

  153. Willie says:

    Oh, Lorin, you scalliwag! Graham is certainly above reproach…ain’t you, Graham?

    But seriously, in the interest of comradeship and our shared passions, let me direct you to Green Tea and Birdsong: http://greenteaandbirdsong.blogspot.com

    A new renku in progress will be starting there in the next 24 hours. I thought it would be fun to compare and observe each others work. Those author’s have begun to follow this site pretty avidly.

    Sincerely,

    Willie

  154. ashleycapes says:

    yes, congratulations, Lorin!

    Thanks for the link, Keiji – really looks great in one page!

    And welcome Greg, great to have you here!

    And Willie, happy to jump over , thanks for the link. If I can speak for the group, we’d love to visit Green Tea…
    !

  155. Willie says:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps /lorin

    starlight
    shards of glass glisten
    on the street

  156. Rhonda says:

    Hi Willie – ‘Green Tea And Birdsong’ – what a great name – and what a lovely bright site – looking forward to seeing more of it

  157. Rhonda says:

    Hi Ashley – Is it possible to withdraw my previous ‘rubber dolly’ ku – it seems too familiar – I think there has been something similair recently somewhere
    and submit this –

    a glint
    in my rude
    rubber dolly’s eye

  158. Rhonda says:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills

    in grass
    the blue and yellow-eyed shine
    of a cat

    in the stream
    shimmer of trout
    around Sogi’s toes

  159. ashleycapes says:

    All done, Rhonda! Love the mining truck ku, a stark image there

  160. Anne Elvey says:

    Congratulations, Lorin. Nice ku.

    Thanks for your comment on my Turner ku, Graham.

    one offering…

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (Lorin)

    in Cooper Pedy
    the ghosts dance
    underground

  161. Anne Elvey says:

    and three further …

    too slowly
    my field glasses
    track the rosellas

    shards of stained glass
    turn in my hand –
    the eye makes patterns

    atop a pile
    of wet socks
    a mouse shivers

  162. Vasile Moldovan says:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebummps
    (Lorin)
    smoking grass…
    this world is so grey
    too grey

    after the divorce
    she smokes the pipe of peace
    with her former husband
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  163. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Everyone – congratulations lorin.

    Have been to an amazing performance – (hope it’s OK to mention it Ashley) – six hours straight – ‘Gatz’ by Elevator Repair Service from New York. The entire ‘Great Gatsby’ is read & acted – just amazing. I’m not sure where else it’s going, but if you get the chance to see it it’s a wonderful experience.

    Thank you for your comments on my door latch ku Graham. I can see lorin’s ku is taking us to some intriguing places.

    And thank you for your comments Ashley and Anne. And yes the Haikunaut Island Renga looks and reads beautifully on one page.

    Just one from me now and some more later:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (lorin)

    fire on the ridges –
    the black wind howling now
    through the dry pines

  164. ashleycapes says:

    Sure thing, Genevieve, no problems at all!

    If anyone see/reads/hears anything good and thinks the rest of us would enjoy, please let us know.

    I’ve got one that triggered when goosebumps sent me to thinking of geese and ducks (it’s probably just a little short though):

    in a grey pond
    bread
    bobs along

  165. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Thanks Keiji for putting our renku on one page. It reads very well, and for some of the history.

    Thanks Graham and others for comments on my ku.

    Congratulations Lorin.

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (Lorin)

    now wriggling
    within an open coffin
    his stiffened body

    or

    jaws opened
    from Susan’s first note…
    what a crescendo!

    or

    above the shaft
    scratching a living
    in mullock piles

  166. Keiji Minato says:

    I like Anne’s

    in Cooper Pedy
    the ghosts dance
    underground

    I’ve been to Cooper Pedy once, staying at the underground hotel!

    David G. Lanoue is now visiting Japan, and we are having events in Kyoto (23rd, tomorrow) and Tokyo (25th). If you happen to be in Japan, please join in. For details see:
    http://umiuma.blog.shinobi.jp/Entry/535/
    and
    http://www.books-sanseido.co.jp/blog/jinbocho/2009/05/525.html

  167. Anne Elvey says:

    Hi all,
    Thanks Keiji, I’m glad you liked the Cooper Pedy one.

    I’m off for a few days, so may not get back to the site much at all until the end of next week… happy writing, everyone.

  168. Rhonda says:

    Thanks Ashley

  169. Greg Rochlin says:

    I like Keiji’s “lulled ocean” for its denseness. Willie’s “shards of glass” is a strong image. And Rhonda’s “mining truck” is an unexpected link (for me the bare hills …).

  170. Origa says:

    Hi everyone,

    Nice work Lorin! Rhonda — I like your mining truck haiku, and Sogi’s toes are also interesting. Anne — your mouse shivering is intriguing and haunting image! Ashkey — the bread bobs along is evocative, I can relate to this too.

    My take on the pendant ku:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (Lorin)

    rain in Seattle
    Bill Gates signs
    one last check

  171. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Anne, I like your ghosts dancing underground very much and Ashley’s bobbing bread and Rhonda’s ‘shimmer of trout/around Sogi’s toes’ and Willie’s ‘shards of glass glisten’.

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (lorin)

    a quick
    first kiss
    behind the haystack

  172. Origa says:

    Very cute first kiss, Genevieve 🙂

  173. Sandra Simpson says:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (lorin)

    taking the long way home
    me
    and the godwits

    violin practice –
    the way the starlings
    twist and turn

  174. Sandra Simpson says:

    Hmm, is it possible to centre the “me” under the first line? I set it out like that in the comments box but it didn’t translate …

    • ashleycapes says:

      Sorry to admit defeat, Sandra, it won’t let me alter the formatting when displaying in the comment box. Let me ask around if you’d still like me to try?

  175. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Thank you Origa 🙂

  176. Genevieve Osborne says:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (lorin)

    sunrise – all the houses
    on the hill
    their windows flaming

  177. Rhonda says:

    Hi Genevieve – could you give us your fave moment/scene/sentence – from ‘Gatz’ – was there one thing that stood out over the whole event? – Ashley I like
    ‘in a grey pond/bread/bobs along – I think its good like that – it sort of slows down -so its also the pond/water moving but how’s something like this?
    ‘in a grey pond
    bread bobs along’
    then suddenly a duck
    Sandra I like your ‘violin practice’ and Gen your ‘sunrise’ – I had to stop for a moment and then saw exactly what you are saying – Anne I like ‘shards of stained glass’ – ‘stained’ is intriguing. Origa ‘rain in Seattle’ I like – I picture him – I think he wears glasses? – their shine, and the rain coming down- very different

  178. lorin says:

    well…such a lot of good, intrigueing ku! 🙂

    Keiji’s ‘lulled ocean’ is beautiful, in relation to an opal, and the ku has a great rhythm.

    I like Anne’s ‘Cooper Pedy/ ghosts’ one too, but I must say that Rhonda’s take on it gave me a huge smile for its surprise and allusive wittiness.

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills [Rhonda]

    ..also, Anne’s

    too slowly
    my field glasses
    track the rosellas [Anne]

    …for the wit as well as the surprisingly apt colour reference [re opal] via rosellas.

    Vasile’s also gave me a smile for its knowingness and for how it develops a whole [implied] scenario.

    after the divorce
    she smokes the pipe of peace
    with her former husband (Vasile)

    [you could just have ‘the peace pipe’, Vasile, if you chose…same meaning]

    … and Ashley’s, for its shift and humour [when linked to the former ku… that ‘bobs along’! ]

    in a grey pond
    bread
    bobs along [Ashley]

    …Barbara’s too, for what could be a very clever [and startling] double entendre, as well as accurately giving the reality of opal prospecting for many.

    above the shaft
    scratching a living
    in mullock piles {Barbara]

    Fascinating process! So glad to be involved in this renku/’ renga …whatever 🙂

    I’m not going to submit a response to my own ku. Can wait until the next is chosen 🙂

  179. Rhonda says:

    Thanks to those who have commented on my ‘mining’ ku – Origa, Sogi just will not leave me – you’ll remember Keiji’s renga inspired me to write about Sogi – I’ve been writing a poem on Sogi in ku verse – 3 and 2 – it is now up to 40 lines – I think finished – and now I seem to be writing in haiku – I wonder if others who were not haiku writers before are finding this.

  180. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Lorin, thanks for your comment… No comment.

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps
    (Lorin)

    seagulls giving the alarm:
    billows of tsunami
    to the golden sands
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  181. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Rhonda – I will certainly try to tease out some of my faves in Gatz – there were many! Right now just one or two more ku from me and then to the writers’ festival to hear more words.

    And Rhonda I really like your mining truck rumbling over those wonderful bare hills and Anne’s field glasses tracking just behind the rosellas.

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (lorin)

    the lagoon – sleek
    as a mirror
    for the preening swans

  182. ashleycapes says:

    Hi Sandra, I’ll give it a try and see if the comment box will let me shift that ‘me’ 🙂

    Really happy to see a lot of dicussion going here! I’ll mention a fav of mine too (one of many): Genevieve’s ‘windows flaming’

  183. Willie says:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps /lorin

    at sunset
    turqoise and pale rose
    figures in the sky

    a beautiful sky this evening.

    something missing here…?

  184. Willie says:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps /lorin

    for his advances
    rebuffed
    by the evil eye

  185. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Thank you Ashley for your comment on my ‘windows flaming’ 🙂

  186. Sandra Simpson says:

    an opal pendant
    rests on her goosebumps (lorin)

    winter wedding –
    with her mouth full of pins
    the dressmaker gossips

    or

    packing again –
    folding the sunset
    into every garment

  187. lorin says:

    hi, Willie …’something missing here…?’ 🙂 … the q in turquoise? That’s a nice shift to a different gemstone , for which of course the colour is named. ‘Figures’ is a great choice, as we can read it as noun and/or as verb:

    at sunset
    turquoise and pale rose
    figures in the sky!

    Sandra, love your ‘winter wedding’ scenario… captures so much…the shivering bride implied, too 🙂

    winter wedding –
    with her mouth full of pins
    the dressmaker gossips

  188. Origa says:

    Hi Sandra — your last two haiku are beautiful and deeply meaningful, both of them! Brava!

  189. Sandra Simpson says:

    Thanks girls, your comments much appreciated.

  190. Willie says:

    Thanks Lorin,

    I see I forgot the letter u. I notice though the verb interpretation of ‘figures’ could be grammatically incorrect.

    I was actually wondering how to portray the clouds…
    Still unsure.

    Also, in verse three:
    ripe walnuts
    (falling) on baked red clay
    (katydid’s) song

    As you pointed out, the -ing ending better to carry forth the next verse, or might that be applicable to line 3, only?
    I like it better rhythmically.

    And, of course, katydid’s minus the hyphen-i believe it may have been Rhonda that pointed out this was a more recognizeable spelling. Forgive my impertinence for not remembering these points until now.

    And a revision, if I may;

    starlight
    shards of glass glisten
    on harsh pavement

    The winter wedding shasei verse is really alive, Sandra.
    Is a winter kigo suitable for this position in our schematic, though? Doesn’t mean I don’t love this verse…I’d like to see it stay. Is there another w adjective to maintain the quality of the alliteration?

    I think Greg got us started with that humorous bed of nails of his…funny!

    I also love the picture of the shivering mouse that Anne conjured. It makes me feel empathy for my fellow creatures.

  191. Willie says:

    We had some issues with spacing and html code, Sandra.
    Some things only adjusted on the final edit.
    I think would create one spacing and not be visible in a final edit.

  192. Willie says:

    Well, that didn’t work here.

  193. ashleycapes says:

    yeah, not sure why it won’t let me adjust it either, especially as I ought to be able to as administrator. sigh

  194. Sandra Simpson says:

    No biggie, guys. Thanks for trying. I’ll have to think a bit more carefully about the look of the verse, that’s all!

  195. Sandra Simpson says:

    Just for Willie (is that why you like the w alliteration?) 🙂
    Try:

    winter wedding –
    with her mouth full of pins
    the widow gossips

  196. Origa says:

    Sandra, this poem

    packing again –
    folding the sunset
    into every garment

    reminds me of a haiku by Santoka:

    my new robe
    full of sunlight
    and warmth

    (Taneda Santoka)

    — by the warm light of a poetic heart wrapped up in both yours and his haiku.

  197. Willie says:

    The dress maker in place of the widow …so they make those little smiley icons for dimwits like me? I just caught on…We could have used them in the Cuban missile crisis;
    probably would have avoided a prolonged Cold War.

    The dressmaker makes more sense to me but probably because I’m a tradesman; I can just see her (it’s a sheila-oops, typo-she in my mind’s eye), a very endearing, odd little character, but that’s just me!

    Winter wedding and widow, ah, I get your drift. You mean late in the game, then.
    Gabi sensei just pointed out to me that kigo as adjective was not kigo; hazy dreams didn’t mean spring, just uncertain dreams, e.g., much like my comprehension.

    I remember a story-while having a suit tailored, this Filapino lady seamstress/tailor was altering my trousers.

    You can tell a good craftsperson while observing them work. Its the confidence they display in their craft, and you detect a bit of love for their dedication to their chosen discipline, be it a drywaller, barber, cashier, sewer cleaner,
    whatever.

    While taking the trousers in a bit, in her broken English,
    she said to me, with a mouth full of pins, “you have tiny cheeks!” obviously referring to me skinny arse.

    I had to laugh while the saleslady looked on sheepishly, who in turn gave me a free tie, perhaps as recompense for some imagined slight, after my indecision over which tie to choose.

    Little did she know I had already received my reward.

    between debate
    Kruschev doodles
    1000 smiley faces

    • gnunn says:

      Hi everyone. I have been away for two days and have just arrived back in Brisbane. Have a had an initial read and again, there are so many wonderful poems. I will most certainly need to continue reading (and re-reading) these poems before I make a choice, so I will be back tomorrow to post my choice. Until then… G

  198. Sandra Simpson says:

    Thanks for the Taneda Santoka ku, Origa. It’s lovely.
    I like how we modern writers still have so much in common with the great classical writers. Life has changed immeasurably since the time of Basho, yet on a very human level it hasn’t at all.
    I found a patch of sunlight on the sofa today and sat in it to just enjoy the warmth and light.
    And BTW Willie the dress-maker was a real woman from the next small town over, village really, who had been making dresses for my mother and grandmother for years (she made my wedding dress on the verge of retirement), although was not a malicious gossip as I’ve made the one in the ku.
    I’d been thinking about the visits for a wee while off and on, and have tried some other variations on the ku, but this has definitely been the best so far.
    The fittings were done in her bedroom (it was an elderly wooden house) and it always seemed a rather secretive pursuit, no men allowed, but a fun one as well. The stories that were told weren’t always suitable for men’s ears, or the men may have disapproved of what was being said. And then we could talk about what we’d heard in the car on the way home … delicious. 🙂

    • gnunn says:

      It is wonderful to see the conversation that this site is sparking… a real sense of sharing and community. I am so enjoying reading all of the comments.

      Again there are a number of poems that have really captured my attention.

      Anne’s ‘field glasses’ poem is a vibrant image that connects strongly with the colours of the opal and has a greats ense of movement. Her ‘Cooper Pedy’ poem was also superb, the ghosts living and dead dancing together…

      Genevieve’s ‘a quick/ first kiss’ is a beautiful, fleeting image, but like any first kiss, it lingers…

      Sandra’s ‘packing again’ is subtle and imbued with the warmth of sunshine… I have enjoyed reading and re-reading this many times and her ‘winter wedding’ is wickedly (yes, another ‘w’ word) delightful… the gossip burning in my ears.

      Each of these poems is more than worthy of selection, but it was Rhonda’s poem:

      a mining truck
      rumbles
      over bare hills

      that resonated most deeply… the starkness of this image is such a leap from the softness of Lorin’s ‘opal pendant’ poem. The immediate commention of the mining truck hit me, but it was the shape of the hills that kept drawing me back to this poem.

      So, now we are off to link #8 (2 lines misc/love).

      Hope you all are well and look forward to continuing the journey!

      Graham

  199. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Rhonda, congratulations – it’s a wonderful ku – I can see that truck – in jaunty rumblings – over that terrain.

  200. Genevieve Osborne says:

    …and thank you Graham for your comments on the first kiss ku.

  201. Rhonda says:

    Hi everyone – thank you Graham for your comments on my ku – and yes all those ku you mentioned were mighty fine pieces – its shaping up to be just as hard a task as Keiji had – I guess there are so many things you have to take into consideration when you make that final decision – and I’m so happy to follow your lovely ku Lorin

  202. lorin says:

    Congratulations, Rhonda. 🙂 It’s a really excellent ‘link and shift’, there in your ku, imo.

  203. Rhonda says:

    Hi Genevieve – thank you for comments on my ku – and as Graham did, I liked your ‘kiss’ ku

  204. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Congratulation, Rhonda.

    a minning truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)
    the girl in the valley
    kissing her hand to driver
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  205. ashleycapes says:

    from [Joseph Mueller]

    Hey All! Thanks so much Keiji for your fascinating comments on the history of renga/renku.

    Here’s one to possibly follow Rhonda’s:

    the whisper of ghosts
    through cobwebbed halls

    Joseph Mueller

  206. Joseph Mueller says:

    Maybe this topic has been touched on before, but is there a way to have the current renku displayed on this page, above these entries?

    I’ve been thinking about what happens at night:

    an owl blinks
    the mouse escapes

    or:

    sleepless
    2:00 a.m. tea

  207. Joseph Mueller says:

    Oops. I forgot to check what number in the sequence of ku we have reached.

  208. Greg Rochlin says:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills (Rhonda)

    clumps of spinifex
    avoiding the rocks

    or

    he seeks the truth
    in a sea of false gurus

  209. Willie says:

    absolutely clear as a bell, Rhonda. A nice link.

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills / Rhonda

    silent stolen glances
    from across the room

  210. Keiji Minato says:

    Hi, I have been away for two events welcoming David G. Lanoue, the co-editor of the Cordite haikunaut issue. My translation of his book, Haiku Guy, was just published! At the events I met two real renku masters (not a fake one like me!). They showed me a renku they wrote in Nara, Japan with poets from overseas in 3 languages: English, Chinese, and Japanese. Hopefully, we will have such an opportunity!

    Okay, the next is the 8th, right?

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills (Rhonda)

    shall I compare thee
    to a marshmallow? (Keiji)

    Love ku can be much more flexibly positioned than moon or cherry blossom ku, say my renku books. Love ku also should not be single, but once the theme appears you have to write at least two to at most five verses on it (You might know all of this already!).

  211. Origa says:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    excavation
    of the ancient Tanais

    *
    Joshua Bell
    playing in a subway

    *
    a very pregnant cat
    at our front door

  212. Origa says:

    Dear David (Lanue), and Keiji, congratulations on publishing the book in Japanese! And thank you for all your information, Keiji san!

  213. lorin says:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    in the cold light of morning
    he tells me I snore

  214. lorin says:

    ah, Keiji 🙂 I hadn’t realised you were the translator for ‘Haiku Guy’! Congratulations to you and to David Lanoue, and it sounds as though the launch was both fun and educational.

    Yes, it’d be great to have such an opportunity.

    shall I compare thee
    to a marshmallow? (Keiji)

    thou art as sticky and gelatinous

    🙂 …couldn’t resist.

    My silliness aside, how interesting that those pink and white marshmallows we put in our hot chocolate drinks now seem to me to take on the appearance of ‘the darling buds of May’!

  215. Joseph Mueller says:

    Love….hmmm. The snoring issue (Lorin!) resonates in some of my non-haiku poems. Here’s a new one:

    despite my snoring
    ‘she sleeps

    or:

    my wife’s hand
    as we plan the garden

    or:

    the new husband
    stares after the train

    So wonderful to see everyone here. And congratulations, David! And Keiji for his translation!

    Joe

  216. Aldia says:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    fingerprints abandoned
    radiance upon my skin

  217. Aldia says:

    another try:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    shiver down my spine
    words of honor

  218. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Dear Joseph – Hello, good to see you too – and… she’s lucky she can (sleep, that is)!

  219. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Perhaps I could slightly refigure my kiss ku:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills (Rhonda)

    running as the train pulls out –
    a quick first kiss

    or

    standing on tiptoe as the train
    starts – a quick first kiss

  220. Genevieve Osborne says:

    or maybe:

    standing on tiptoe at the train
    window – a quick first kiss

  221. lorin says:

    “he snoring issue (Lorin!) resonates in some of my non-haiku poems.” Joseph

    Good to see you back, Joseph 🙂

  222. Aldia says:

    earthquake emanates
    forgiveness forsaken

  223. Rhonda says:

    Hi everyone – thank you Vasile, Willie and Lorin for your comments – Keiji you might be able to share some thoughts on the renku written in Nara, Japan? Or some of your thoughts coming off the verses? – and Keiji you are not a fake – after taking the Cordite renga – you certainly opened my mind to some different ideas

  224. ashleycapes says:

    Welcome Aldia! I like the ‘shiver ku’ it seems quite sinister somehow?

    Yes, Keiji, tell us more if you could? And congratulations on the publication for both you and David 🙂 (And the marchmallow made me laugh too)

    And to Rhonda, great link, really like the way it has potential to open up the renku to the industrial world

  225. Joseph Mueller says:

    Hey Rhonda!

    Here is another attempt to follow your truck:

    their first touch
    electrifies

  226. Willie says:

    the mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills / Rhonda

    Ashley, you got me to thinkin’;

    mass production; no love
    in an industrial world

    a passing fancy
    on the tilt-a-whirl

  227. Genevieve Osborne says:

    and sorry to fiddle with this again – but might be better:

    standing on tiptoe at the train –
    a quick first kiss

  228. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Joseph: I like your ‘their first touch/electrifies’…and Aldia, I also like your ‘shiver down my spine/words of honor’…tense and forboding.

  229. Aldia says:

    willie~ i like your: no love/in an industrial world.
    Thanks, Ashley and Genevieve its nice to be among friendly and familiar people again!

    the mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills / Rhonda

    shattering expectations
    capricious indescretions

  230. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    congratulations Rhonda.
    congratulations David on the launch of your publication.
    thankyou Keiji for all and every helpful comment on the formation of renku.
    thankyou Lorin for comments on my ku.

    Hmm, an observation, so far I see there is rolling thunder and then rumbles and I saw this as being too much the same. Anyways, here are my offers:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills (Rhonda)

    she’s happiest
    under a chrome bonnet

    or

    screams from a tree top
    “Save our forests”

    or

    an infatuated Rubens
    highlights female curves

    Peace and Love

  231. Sandra Simpson says:

    Some neat poems here already (I like the tilt-a-whirl, and the garden planning), but I’ll throw in my threepenny bit:

    the mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    touching, not touching, touching
    we stroll in the birch grove

    or

    sleeping together again
    the mineral smell of our bodies

  232. Joseph Mueller says:

    Sandra, I really like the “touching, not touching!” An incredible physical image.

    Barbara, love the “chrome bonnet.”

    And Aldia, great “shivers”!

    Here’s one more try from me:

    her fingertips trace
    from nape to knee

    or, keeping to the love theme:

    the phone directory
    a catalogue of lost loves

  233. Greg Rochlin says:

    Sandra, very nice linking with your ‘sleeping together’.

    Also like your ‘chrome bonnet’, Barbara.

    While Keiji and lorin are mining Sonnet 18, I’d like to join them (while diligently trying not to get entangled in the goosebumps).

    the mining truck

    rumbles

    over bare hills
(Rhonda)

    these fair lines explored
    your eternal summer

  234. Genevieve Osborne says:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills (Rhonda)

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers

  235. Genevieve Osborne says:

    another try:

    a trace of her fragrance
    on my pillow

  236. Genevieve Osborne says:

    or, this might be better:

    on my pillow – still a trace
    of her fragrance

  237. Genevieve Osborne says:

    one more offer:

    undoing the tiny buttons –
    his big hands fumbling

  238. Willie says:

    Genevieve,

    I can’t impress how much I like “black jacket” and “tiny buttons”.

    How fitting they are for the beginning of this love sequence.

    And Sandra, don’t discard “sleeping together”, unless it is chosen. I love the description of it.

  239. Anne Elvey says:

    Hi all,
    congratulations Rhonda and thank you, Graham and others, for your comments on my verses.

    Some offerings for the next:

    beyond the fringes of town
    the dingoes are mating

    in the dry the lizard’s
    wait for their season

    deep in a gully
    the desert peas slumber

    the long mating of azure
    with ochre infuses the day

  240. Anne Elvey says:

    Sorry, the second should be:

    in the dry the lizards
    wait for their season

    a stray apostrophe, ow!

  241. Willie says:

    How’d you know I was partial to lizards, Anne?

  242. lorin says:

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    o, brave new world
    of buttocks in blue jeans!

  243. ashleycapes says:

    Anne, your ‘slumbering peas’ are great and I must 2nd Willie’s thoughts!

    I’ve tried to use a love theme here, but it’s very different to using seasons so I’m not sure how well it follows

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    scooped in the sheets –
    sharing ice-cream

  244. ashleycapes says:

    Sorry, I don’t think it needs a cutting dash after that

    perhaps

    scooped in the sheets
    sharing ice-cream

  245. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Willie, thank you – I’m glad you like ‘black jacket’ & ‘tiny buttons’. I like your ‘…no love/in an industrial world’ and especially ‘a passing fancy/on the tilt-a-whirl’.

    I also like Barbara’s ‘chrome bonnet’, Sandra’s ‘sleeping together again’, Joseph’s ‘her fingertips trace/from neck to knee’ – such a light sensual touch – and Anne’s….well, all of Anne’s – especially ‘in the dry the lizards/wait for their season’ – there’s quietness and patience there – which is a balm for us all. Sorry to say, I have just come from a truly horrible experience in a particular consulate in Sydney, and feel quite battered.

    As Barbara says ‘peace and love’. The world needs more of it.

  246. Genevieve Osborne says:

    …and Ashley, I love your ‘scooped in the sheets/sharing ice-cream’. ‘Scooped’ is wonderful.

  247. Sandra Simpson says:

    I wonder about a slight rewrite of one already submitted – I had birches to the forefront of my mind yesterday having just seen a lovely planting of American paper birches in a suburban garden. But have since thought that perhaps the image didn’t do the first line justice. Comments welcome 🙂

    touching, not touching, touching
    our shadows in the reed garden

  248. Sandra Simpson says:

    And Genevieve, the word “supple” is magnificent for this round.

    a mining truck
    rumbles
    over bare hills
    (Rhonda)

    in a town where no one knows us
    your hand at my waist

  249. Joseph Mueller says:

    Sandra, I agree, “our shadows in the reed garden” is more worthy of the first line of touching.

    The concept of love shares similar qualities to exploration, thus I submit:

    Magellan-like
    my hands circle her waist

  250. Aldia says:

    blinded by night
    my body his braille

  251. Anne Elvey says:

    So many lovely ku this time. Aldia’s “my body his braille” is great and Sandra’s”the mineral smell of our bodies”, Genevieve’s “black leather jacket” and “tiny buttons”, Lorin’s “brave new world”; Sandra’s “touching, not touching”; Ashley’s “scooped…”; Barbara’s “she’s happiest…”; Willie’s “mass production”‘ Keiji’s “marshmallow”; Greg’s “clumps of spinifex” and Vasile’s “girl in the valley”; so everything really!

    • gnunn says:

      I would like to start by seconding Anne’s comment… this is another wonderful group of poems, with many stand outs.

      There are many I would like to comment on…

      Joseph’s ‘their first touch / electrifies’ is exquisite. After getting married this year, this really sings to me!

      Aldia’s ‘shiver down my spine / words of honor’ is, as people have already commented, a chilling little poem. Tense and powerful.

      Bandit’s ‘mass production; no love / in an industrial world’ was a really interesting take on love. Has the cold feel of concrete and glass.

      Barbara’s ‘she’s happiest / under a chrome bonnet’ was also a nice twist on a love poem and a great jump from the rumble of the truck, to something I imagine to be much sleeker.

      Sandra’s ‘touching, not touching, touching / our shadows in the reed garden’ is stunning. The closeness of the two bodies creates a longing that really resonated.

      Ashley’s ‘scooped in the sheets / sharing ice-cream’ is wonderfully playful. This captures a truly delicious moment.

      But, it was Geneveive’s

      his black leather jacket –
      supple in my fingers

      that stayed with me long after each reading of all the poems. This is such a gentle poem. The word supple, imbued with the gentle nature of her touch; her love/passion for the man and his jacket perfectly portrayed.

      Thank you all again for sharing your poems… I am eagerly anticipating your responses for link #9 (3 lines – misc / love).

      Take care,

      Graham

  252. ashleycapes says:

    Nice choice, Graham:) And congratulations, Geneveive!

  253. Joseph Mueller says:

    Great job, Genevieve! I am going to be repeating the word “supple” all day now!

    Also, nice editorial work, Graham!

  254. Willie says:

    I’m not surprised, Genevieve.

    his black leather jacket
    supple in my fingers / Genevieve

    bruised lips held close
    the policeman reports
    ‘gone on arrival’

    Sadly, GOA is a common note where there are a lack of corraborating witnesses.

  255. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Thank you Graham, that’s so lovely to have my ku chosen – especially as there were so many excellent ones in this round.

    Thank you Sandra, Anne, Ashley, Willie and Joseph for your comments – and Joseph, I hope you enjoy a lovely ‘supple’ day 🙂

    Willie, your ‘gone on arrival’ ku is strong – it makes a startling echo for me this morning as I watched Clint Eastwood’s ‘Mystic River’ again last night – such a forceful film – and the scene where the two young boys watch the car disappear with their friend staring wretchedly from the back window is something that sticks.

    Thank you everyone – I’m so enjoying this second renku experience.

  256. Anne Elvey says:

    Congratulations, Genevieve.

    Some offerings for the next:

    short and sleek –
    two dogs
    in a tangle

    from eave
    to eave
    two ravens caw

    to the uncurled cat
    the sun
    makes love

    nuzzling her pelt –
    the night steeped
    with musk

  257. Anne Elvey says:

    or perhaps the last would read better:

    nuzzling her pelt –
    the night is steeped
    with musk

  258. Rhonda says:

    well done Genevieve – congratulations –

  259. Rhonda says:

    Willie – I agree your GOA – so strong – kind of stopped me for a mo’ – and ‘bruised’ – open to so many thoughts there – good one Willie –
    and Anne – ‘from eave/to eave/ two ravens caw’ – wonderful – cutting across the sky – yes I like
    and ‘nuzzling her pelt/ the night is steeped/with musk’ – also powerfully gentle – or gently powerful – I like it with ‘is’ too

  260. lorin says:

    Congratulations, Genevieve. Nice work. 🙂

    This springs to mind:

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers (Geneveive)

    the new Navman—
    my uncertain future
    in his palm

  261. Rhonda says:

    to follow Genevieve’s

    ‘his black leather jacket
    supple in my fingers’

    eskimos
    slow dancing on ice
    touch noses

    there sits Porphyria
    with her lover…
    in love forever

  262. Rhonda says:

    emus entwined
    their throatal boomings
    of love

  263. Joseph Mueller says:

    Rhonda, “her yellow tresses/ choke affirmation/ ‘yes, I do'”

    Couldn’t help playing off Browning!

  264. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Congratulations Genevieve! Thanks for your comments.

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers (Genevieve)

    the flair of my mum
    mixing sage with onion,
    parsley and breadcrumbs

    or

    back on dry land
    waving our favourite catch
    he smiles proudly

    I’ll send another later.
    Peace and Love

  265. Joseph Mueller says:

    Hey All!

    Here’s a quick one as I cook:

    fast kiss
    like poetry
    holy air

    ooh, I have garlic all over my hand!

  266. ashleycapes says:

    going to try submit more than one this round but for now just this one

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers
    (Geneveive)

    red clouds
    molting
    horizon beneath

  267. ashleycapes says:

    Hey Joseph, like the idea of poetry being like a kiss, fantastic 🙂

  268. Willie says:

    Ash,

    Whoa; I’ve just noticed you have HBS listed as a resource.
    I don’t think that may be appropriate except maybe for some links, which you certainly may embed in your own list.
    Kind of you to include it, but it may not be suitable for study of…acceptable haiku writing technique. I would request that you not use it as a reference.

    But, what is acceptable?
    That’s something I’m trying to find out.

    Two seperate actions, dichotomous, with an inference to be drawn by the reader? A short/long/short line arrangement, including a seasonal reference, and a single kireiji? Gendai? One-liners? Who’s to say?

    The answer may be as mysterious as the moon craftily dodging in and out of the clouds outside my window right now. Perhaps one day I shall capture it…

    ‘Green Tea’ ain’t no great shakes either, my friend; we’re all just beginners enjoying exploring the renga form. Not even professional poets, as many of you here appear to be. I only mentioned the site in order to encourage an exchange of communal friendship.

    I admit a dearth of “live” renku online; Green Tea and Bird Song may be one current example, I suppose. There have been others, but they don’t seem to have been very long-lived.

    I hope that will not be the case with our dear ‘Snails’ and
    ‘Birds’. I, simply, am honored to be included in either one.

  269. ashleycapes says:

    Hey Willie, no probs at all! I can easily adjust that page and seperate the ‘examples’ from the ‘resources’ – I think I liked the idea of listing HBS because it had on it’s own page, some great links to resources (pretty lazy of me to not to link them seperately 😉 ) will get onto that ASAP

    yeah, me too, hope the Snail goes for years and years!

  270. Sandra says:

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers
    (Genevieve)

    trying her name
    ending with his –
    the pen runs dry

    the last leaves
    wrinkled and dry
    holding hands anyway

  271. Rhonda says:

    Hi Joseph – ‘ yellow tresses choking’ alright – poor Porphyria

  272. Rhonda says:

    Hi Lorin – congratulations to you and all those that have organised GEAN TREE PRESS – its lookin’ good – so hey everybody go and have a look

  273. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Congratulation, Lorin and Origa for the first issue of “Gean Tree Press”. In my opinion it is excellently.

    his blak leather jacket-
    supple in my fingers
    (Genevieve)
    watching together
    in the short night with stars
    as bright as the moon
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  274. Sandra says:

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers
    (Genevieve)

    wedding day –
    the cow meadow knee-high
    in queen anne’s lace

  275. Joseph Mueller says:

    I’ve been playing with this one:

    a look across the room
    commemorated graveside
    a hope chest diamond

  276. Aldia says:

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers
    (Genevieve)

    grocery list in the pocket
    memoir of a shared meal
    prelude to a kiss

    scent lingers
    harvest moon
    crimson tide

  277. Barbara A Taylor says:

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers (Genevieve)

    gender or race
    cannot, will not stop
    sweet passion

    or

    on the east coast
    young lovers all dress
    as if for a funeral

  278. ashleycapes says:

    his black leather jacket-
    supple in my fingers
    (Genevieve)

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C

  279. Rhonda says:

    scent –
    her rose, his tobacco
    fuses them

  280. Rhonda says:

    or this better?

    scents –
    her rose, his tobacco
    fusing them

  281. ashleycapes says:

    Perhaps #2?

  282. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Congratulations lorin and Origa, ‘Gean Tree Press’ looks beautiful.

    Ashley I like your ‘at the piano/room for two/on middle C’ – I can see them so close on the piano stool – and Sandra your ‘…cow meadow knee high/in queen anne’s lace’

  283. lorin says:

    Rhonda, Vasile and Genevieve… thanks for your congrats. It is a little like seeing the baby born. 🙂 My sincere thanks to all posting here at ‘Issa’s Snail’ [and from Keiji’s ‘Haikunaut Island Renga’] who submitted their haiku for the first issue, whether or not the submissions were successful this time around.

    http://geantree.webs.com/

    We’re very happy with the response we’ve received so far, on this first issue of ‘Notes From the Gean’.

    …and submissions are open again! I’m looking forward to reading more of your haiku.

  284. lorin says:

    Sandra, this fits beautifully, imo , and brings back long ago memories:

    trying her name
    ending with his –
    the pen runs dry

    and Ashley, your

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C

    is subtle and intriguing..nice light touch!

  285. Aldia says:

    Lorin, I was just on the site, and am looking forward to exploring it more later……Nicely done. I like the variety!

    Anne I like to the uncurled cat/the sun/makes love. I think in my other life I want to be that cat! Ashley love, at the piano/room for two/on middle C, and Sandra I think both of these are great trying her name/ending with his -/the pen runs dry and the last leaves/wrinkled and dry/
    holding hands anyway

    now to wake the children, and
    one last entry before I go to work….

    held tightly to my chest
    lingering scent
    left behind

  286. Origa says:

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers
    (Genevieve)

    divided
    between shooting stars
    and his hands

  287. Aldia says:

    another cup of coffee, and I think I like the way this flows better…..If I may:

    lingering scent
    held tightly to my chest
    left behind

  288. Sandra says:

    Just a note for Aldia, and please excuse me if you know this already:

    scent lingers
    harvest moon
    crimson tide

    One of the things haiku isn’t (which is sometimes easier to enunciate than what haiku is) … is a list of 3 things. You should try for 2 of the lines being one idea (lines 1&2 or 2&3) and the other line a link or a shift (compare & contrast).

    Jane Reichhold has developed a whole “Fragment and Phrase” theory and you can read about that here:
    http://www.poetrysociety.org.nz/node/115

    Of course, there are other ways (techniques) of writing haiku, such as using a pivot line, associations, etc.
    Jane, who is herself a wonderful writer, has also penned an essay distilling her wide knowledge. I often return to this article to try and develop my writing. Find her essay here:
    http://www.poetrysociety.org.nz/August2005/haikuarticle/janereichhold

    BTW if you haven’t already looked through the Archived Articles on Haiku NewZ I urge you and all haiku-nauts to do so. There’s some great information here (and yes, I am the editor of Haiku NewZ so I would say that).

    http://www.poetrysociety.org.nz/aboutarchivedhaikuarticles

    Hope this helpful. If not, just ignore!

  289. Joseph Mueller says:

    Really great looking site, Lorin! Some beautiful images Aldia, Ashley, Genevieve. I ‘d like to modify mine a bit and add another:

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers
    (Genevieve)

    one look across the room
    commemorated graveside
    a hope chest diamond

    or:

    such a narrow walk
    he offers his arm, old-style
    sinks to his calf in mud

  290. Joseph Mueller says:

    but maybe something different:

    at the cemetery
    twins entwine fingers
    a shared lover

  291. Keiji Minato says:

    I found out that I posted this comment on the “Current Renku” page… Let me re-post it again here.

    *

    Wow, you are newly married, Graham. Congratulations.

    > Keiji you might be able to share some thoughts on the renku written in Nara, Japan? Or some of your thoughts coming off the verses? (Rhonda)
    The renku I refered was led by Mr. Shokan Kondo, a real renku master who speaks superb English (When you want to try a traditional Japanese-style renku, he’s the one you should invite!). It was written in not the “kasen” form but “juhatcho (十八調, 18 verses). The first two ku are:

    Uguisu, you too
    take lodging here
    smell of hot springs (Shokan)

    at Yoshimizu
    too early for cherry blossoms (Raffael deGruttola)

    (Uguisu is a bush warbler.) These are a very traditional beginning, but the renku also refers to wine bottles, chansons, and so on. It playfully ends with:

    a cat with one eye open
    a proud expression (Enn Hoshino)

    It captures a multi-national atmosphere of the group really well and is very fun to read.

    Okay, our renku here! I love your “her rose, his tobacco” above, Rhonda. I cannot say which version is better, though… Let me use a suggestion from your “tobacco.”

    his black leather jacket –
    supple in my fingers (Geneveive)

    how you can make
    this match burn
    more slowly?

    • ashleycapes says:

      thanks for this Keiji! The closing ku is especially great – made me smile. I think we’d be honoured if Mr. Shokan Kondo was availble when we’re ready to tackle a traditional renga!

  292. Anne Elvey says:

    Thanks Rhonda and Aldia for your comments.
    Lorin and Origa, the Gean Tree site is lovely. Congrats to all those whose work appears there.
    Keiji, I like “how can you make/this match burn/more slowly?”; Ashley, your “at the piano/room for two/on middle C” is great; and Sandra, I like your “wedding day” ku and Rhonda, your “scents” ku; and as always so many others…

  293. lorin says:

    Thanks for reading at the ‘gean’ site, Aldia…of course we are thrilled to have launched this new journal.

    Yes, Sandra, your haiku archives is a superb collection of very relevant essays for anyone interested in contemporary English-language haiku and I would [and do] thoroughly recommend it as a resource.

    Keiji, I very much like your ‘match’ ku in relation to Genevieve’s.

  294. lorin says:

    Hi Anne…thank you for looking in at ‘gean’. 🙂

  295. Joseph Mueller says:

    Those are lovely ku, Keiji! Thanks for sharing.

    Here is one on the theme of love:

    two pair of boots wait
    the calendar shifts
    and we’re still barefoot

  296. Joseph Mueller says:

    and another, for Basho:

    Friday, we eat fish
    for the rest of the weekend
    we swim together

  297. Willie says:

    do shooting stars
    live to a ripe old age?
    learned moon

    You are cordially invited to our fourth moon viewing party of 2009! The full moon rises on Sunday, June 7th.

    To submit a poem (all submissions remain the property of the author) please visit:

    haikubanditsociety.blogspot.com

    Please include your pen name so we might accredit your poem properly!

    Happy moon gazing!

    • gnunn says:

      Hello again everyone,

      Let me first of all jump in and add my congratulations to Lorin and Origa for the great job they have done with Notes from the Gean. A truly magnificent debut issue. I look forward to many more!

      And thank you Keiji for your congratulatory wishes… married life is wonderful:)

      As always, the dialogue on the snail has been really vibrant. It is great to see such an open forum and people sharing their varying levels of knowledge… we are always learning. As Kerouac said, ‘one day I will find the right words… and they will be simple.’

      So in my search for the right words for link #9, I again encountered many poems that have stayed with me long after their first read.

      These poems kept coming back to me (and me to them):

      bruised lips held close
      the policeman reports
      ‘gone on arrival’

      (Bandit)

      to the uncurled cat
      the sun
      makes love

      (Anne)

      the new Navman—
      my uncertain future
      in his palm

      (Lorin)

      wedding day –
      the cow meadow knee-high
      in queen anne’s lace

      the last leaves
      wrinkled and dry
      holding hands anyway

      (Sandra)

      at the piano
      room for two
      on middle C

      (Ashley)

      scents –
      her rose, his tobacco
      fusing them

      (Rhonda)

      how you can make
      this match burn
      more slowly?

      (Keiji)

      Friday, we eat fish
      for the rest of the weekend
      we swim together

      (Joseph)

      Each poem, realises the moment it has sought to capture; each poem invokes a sense of wonder.

      Importantly, each poem would take us somehere new and interesting as the renku unfolds…

      In the end, I could not go past Ashley’s poem. For me, this highlighted the image of the fingers ‘limbering up’ in Geneveive’s poem and the closeness intensifies. A wonderful image Ashley!

      So, off we leap to link #10… 2 lines misc/love.

      Look forward to your poems,

      Graham

  298. Joseph Mueller says:

    Congratulations, Ashley! Very lovely.

  299. Aldia says:

    I’m thrilled, I love this Ashley! Congrats!

  300. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Congratulations Ashley. Your “C” has very many means.

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C
    (Ashley)

    he is listening to
    her fingers on the keys
    or
    he heaves a deep sigh
    during of interlude
    or
    two heads on the same pillow
    lighted by the summer moon
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  301. Willie says:

    Lovely, Ashley! Where did you come up with that idea?
    It must have been in rehearsal.

    Vasilie, my friend, I detect a typo in your second verse;
    might you have meant ‘ during the interlude’ or ‘during an interlude’?

    Also, an American speaker might say, ‘he listens to her fingers on the keys’, although I must warn you, Americans have done a fine job of mangling the English language.

    Also, ‘lit’ might substitute for ‘lighted’ in your third verse, which I have to admit is my favorite scene. Slightly more legato and economical a reading, perhaps.

    I hope Sandra would resubmit her ‘mineral’ verse, also.
    It explores more than just one tactile sense for me.

  302. Rhonda says:

    congratulations Ashley – the more I read your ku, the more I like

  303. Rhonda says:

    Hi Graham – firstly, congatulations on your marriage, and may you and your partner have many happy years together – and thanks for your positive input on the ku – it really helps (me) to understand what (I’m) supposed to be writing – I think the renku is shaping up really well – also I find all the offerings inspiring too –
    Keiji the renku sounds great – ‘Uguisu, you too/take lodging here/smell of hot springs’ (Shokan) says much! and I liked ‘a cat with one eye open’ (Enn) I’ve seen this often – With only 18 verses I suppose it would be much more fast-paced – with a point being arrived at very quickly – but also allowing the renku to find many exciting images – and thank you for your comment on my ‘rose, tobacco’ ku – ‘how can you make/this matchburn /more slowly?’ (keiji) wonderful bounce off ‘tobacco’

  304. Rhonda says:

    to follow –

    ‘at the piano
    room for two
    on middle c’ (Ashley)

    coming between them…
    the tuner

    beneath The Big Koala
    they embrace, near a paw

    (this big koala sits on the Western
    Highway at Dadswells Bridge, Vic)

  305. Rhonda says:

    well, not on the highway, off it, at the Dadswells Bridge roadhouse

  306. Rhonda says:

    Hi Vasile – yes I like ‘two heads on the same pillow’ but I think ‘lit by the summer moon’ – would be better – lit instead of lighted – Vasile this is lovely

  307. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Congratulations Ashley – I really like your ku – it has a lovely light touch on the keys.

  308. ashleycapes says:

    Thanks everyone! 🙂 And thanks Graham, really happy that that one was picked!

    Yep, you guessed it Willie! The moment struck me as a good link to Genevieve’s and I scribbled it down right away.

    Just want to add my congratulations to Lorin, Origa and all at Gean. It looks nice and clean and I’m looking forward to a good read!

    And Vasile, your ‘pillow’ ku is great, it’s got a fit for the ‘love’ theme of #10

    And I must write you all an e-mail soon about an offer our group got for another renku…

  309. Origa says:

    Thank you everyone for the kind words!

    Congartulations, Ashley; your haiku is multilayered and opens many possibilities. This is one of them:

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C
    (Ashley)

    a blue butterfly blends
    into her cellulite

  310. Sandra says:

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle c

    (Ashley)

    the clock’s tick, slowing
    to match your heart

    and for Willie (glad you like it) 🙂

    sleeping together again
    the mineral smell of our bodies

  311. Rhonda says:

    Hi Origa – I like your ‘blue butterfly’ and Sandra your ‘sleeping together again/the mineral smell of our bodies’ – and Sandra I’d like to say what a full and interesting site is the NZ Poetry web page – you and the organisers have certainly put a lot into it – there seems to be something for everyone – congratulations – I could spend a day there

  312. Anne Elvey says:

    Congratulations Ashley.

    Thanks for your comment on my uncurled cat Graham.

    Some offerings for the next:

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C (Ashley)

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek

    a white mouse skitters
    across the keys

    on the table alphabet soup
    spells their names

    a knock at the door –
    another spud in the pot

  313. Sandra says:

    Gee, what a nice selection Anne – love the twins and the alphabet soup, particularly.

  314. Anne Elvey says:

    Thanks Sandra.
    I found your NZ Haiku site very interesting with links to some helpful articles, also found the article you suggested by Jane Reichhold very useful. Thanks for the links.

  315. Barbara A Taylor says:

    G’day

    Congratulations Ashley! Nice one.

    I love the twins face to face, Anne.

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C (Ashley)
    uplifting harmony
    from a baby grand

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C
    the start of an adagio
    to swoon for

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C
    breathless for pitch
    beyond their control

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C
    panting in tandem
    up a slippery slope

  316. lorin says:

    Ashley, congratulations… a subtle and resonant ku, as has been said.

    Thanks for your congrats on the first issue of ‘gean’, Graham. We’re pleased with it and are proud to publish the fine work we’ve received.

    …and Joseph (sorry!) I missed your comment before. Thank you.

  317. lorin says:

    whoops! 🙂 …and many thanks for your congrats, too , Ashley. Happy that you’re enjoying it so far!

  318. lorin says:

    Again, a lovely variety of ku so far. Hard sometimes to pick favourites, but this time [so far] these two stand out for me:

    sleeping together again
    the mineral smell of our bodies

    [Sandra]

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek

    [Anne]

  319. ashleycapes says:

    Yes, those two are beautiful, huh?

  320. Keiji Minato says:

    Ashley’s piano ku is light and gentle. I love this choice!
    I would like to follow it with:

    yesterday’s note
    dropped on the floor

    or

    through the small city
    a river runs

    *

    Anne’s “twins” is (are?) great!

  321. Joseph Mueller says:

    Hey All! I love the progression and growth of this poetic sequence!

    Here is a quick submission before I grade papers:

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C (Ashley)

    the ring she bears
    taps a fret

  322. Sandra says:

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C
    (Ashley)

    climbing the stairs
    our song

    or

    getting home first
    the fire light in your eyes

  323. Rhonda says:

    our feet in a creek
    the water’s music

  324. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Rhonda, I like your ‘our feet in a creek’, Sandra’s ‘getting home first’, Joseph ‘the ring she bears’, Anne’s ‘twins’ and Keiji’s ‘yesterday’s note’, Barbara’s ‘panting in tandem’ – and Anne, your ‘alphabet soup’.

    Have to say goodbye to you all for a while – we’re going to Russia to see our daughter perform in a French theatre company.

    If I can get to a computer I will of course come to Issa’s.

    Happy Renku to you all, Genevieve.

  325. lorin says:

    at the piano
    room for two
    on middle C
    (Ashley)

    another torch song ends
    in a minor key

    • gnunn says:

      Hello again,

      Sadly, I am a bit flu-riddled at the moment, so apologise for the delay in keeping the renku moving. But again, I have had to make many visits to the site, write out my favourites, carry them around with me, speak them out loud (and in my head) to be able to come up with just one poem for link #10. Yes, sometimes one poem is just not enough. Many of the poems with a musical reference really stood out. These three were particular favourites:

      another torch song ends
      in a minor key

      (Lorin)

      our feet in a creek
      the water’s music

      (Rhonda

      the ring she bears
      taps a fret

      (Joseph)

      Vasile’s and Sandra’s ‘sleeping poems’ also seemed like great choices:

      sleeping together again
      the mineral smell of our bodies

      (Sandra)

      two heads on the same pillow
      lighted by the summer moon

      (Vasile)

      As did Keiji’s:

      yesterday’s note
      dropped on the floor

      Each of these images has captured me and kept me wondering which way to move for the last few days, but in the end it was Anne’s ‘twins’ poem that crept up on me:

      under her belly
      twins curl cheek to cheek

      (Anne)

      The shape of this poem, so startling beautiful… a wonderful addition to our renku.

      So off we go in search of link #11… 3 lines misc.

      Take Care,

      Graham

  326. lorin says:

    Great choice, Graham. Congratulations Anne! a beautiful ku 🙂

    Sorry to hear about your flu, Graham. No fun at all. I wonder if it’s the latest, controversial flu? Get well soon, anyway.

    cheers,
    lorin

  327. Anne Elvey says:

    Hi Graham, lovely to have this ku included in the renku. Thank you. I hope you feel better soon.

    And thank you to everyone else for your comments.

  328. Rhonda says:

    congratulations Anne – very different and very effective

  329. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Graham, sorry to hear abut your flu.
    Congratulations Anne, for your unforeseen ku.
    Nunc, quo vadis Domine?

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek
    (Anne)

    a lullaby
    in the witching hour
    … nightingale’s
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  330. Sandra says:

    That was a stand-out ku Anne … and now Vasile has done an equally effective job. Nice work from both of you.

  331. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Congratulations Anne. I really liked that one.
    Get well soon, Graham.

    My offerings:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child

    or

    a gay life
    when we’re out
    together dancing

    or

    at the riverbed
    casuarinas bend
    into themselves

  332. ashleycapes says:

    Yes, get well, Graham! And congratulations, Anne 🙂

    Love the roadside stall, Barbara, very gritty

  333. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Well replies, Barbara.
    I add other two:

    Childhood memory-
    the pine tree grows up
    to the full moon
    or
    Sic leones!
    A mother nursing
    in the monlight
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  334. Joseph Mueller says:

    Great job, Anne! Isn’t it strange how we’ve had several ku featuring twins submitted?

  335. Joseph Mueller says:

    Here are a few for ku #11 from me:

    my wheels spit black
    I leave the moon
    the stars and you

    or:

    our midnight picnic
    dulls the katydids
    raises questions

    or:

    a torn vinyl seat
    carries a woman far north
    o heart! my heart!

    or:

    unanswered phone calls
    notes in suit pockets
    trouble in paradise

  336. Joseph Mueller says:

    okay, one more today:

    the upturn of her lip
    knife-gleam on her teeth
    he doesn’t stand a chance

  337. ashleycapes says:

    The torn vinyl seat is great, Joseph!

  338. Anne Elvey says:

    Thank you all for the further comments. I very much like your “lullaby” ku, Vasily, and Barbara, your “casuarinas”. And your “roadside stall” is stunning. Joseph, your “torn vinyl seat” is very evocative. Re the twins: my partner is an identical twin and we celebrated their birthdays last Friday, so twins were probably more in my mind last week.

  339. Joseph Mueller says:

    Thanks for your comments, Ashley and Anne! Great job with the “grilled mouse” Barbara.

    Anne, I worked as a bartender for an identical twin brother for years; dated a woman who believed she was a twin (long, strange, story).

    Late home from school meetings and preps for a huge catering job I am in charge of this weekend. So, of course, I have more ku!

    a spiral of pollen
    the colors of sky
    a butterfly lands

    or:

    the chisel slips
    a marble arm
    suggests movement

    and I’d like to revise my ‘vinyl seat” for spelling:

    a torn vinyl seat
    carries a woman far north
    oh heart! my heart!

  340. Sandra says:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    one red star
    moving quickly eastwards
    a plane full of dreams

    or

    rolling baby names
    around in my mouth –
    a raspberry drop

  341. Origa says:

    Hi all,

    I hope you are getting better, Graham. Anne — congratulations on your lovely ku!

    My offering to it:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    not knowing his fate
    a little piggy smiles
    in his dream

  342. Origa says:

    And btw — look at this little piggy: http://www.redbubble.com/images/clear.gif

    🙂

  343. Origa says:

    Barbara — your roadside stall haiku is impressive and hainting.

    Joseph — I like your chisel slips!

  344. Aldia says:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    decorating the nursery
    waltzing to the mobile
    a Brahams Lullaby

  345. Rhonda says:

    Hi everyone – so many great ku submitted – if I commented I’d surely miss some one’s – so congratulations all – I must admit Anne, your lovely ku has pushed me somewhat – here is my contibution –

    an off-the-shoulder
    swirling gown
    and rouge – too red

    rise and fall of his chest….
    dreaming
    conversing with himself

    a sparkie up his ladder
    negatives – positives
    dangling

    a mound of hay
    horses work in-circle
    the chaff cutting machine

  346. lorin says:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    magic markers…
    a perfect taijitu
    on the tadpole jar

  347. lorin says:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    Mothers Day…
    another rug rat vomits
    on the flokati

  348. lorin says:

    Rhonda, this is priceless! 🙂

    a sparkie up his ladder
    negatives – positives
    dangling

  349. Joseph Mueller says:

    Morning all! Aldia, lovely ku with the image of the mobile. I think you mean “a Brahms lullaby.”

    An early one from me:

    rubber ducklings
    bob through a moon
    set in an outdoor tub

  350. lorin says:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    the scar that itches
    all the way down
    to Tasmania

  351. Aldia says:

    Yes, thank you Joseph.

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    decorating the nursery
    waltzing to the mobile
    a Brahms lullaby

    another prompted by my boyfriend bringing me to work and my arrival there:

    mouse ate my kiwi
    automobile will not start
    another Saab story

  352. Aldia says:

    impending arrival
    careening to the hospital
    Crown Victoria

  353. Joseph Mueller says:

    under her belly
    twins curl cheek to cheek (Anne)

    the clock face sneers
    ticky-tock, ticky-tock
    she watches the door

  354. aldia says:

    organizing the house
    squirrel collecting nuts
    nesting begins

  355. Anne Elvey says:

    Hi Lorin,
    love “the scar that itches” — very cheeky!

  356. lorin says:

    hey, Anne 🙂 … thanks.

    🙂 … for those not sure where it is, well, a map might be too graphic?

  357. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day

    thanks folks for your comments. the roadside stall young boy selling dead mice is a scene from life in Lesotho. so many starving people in the world.

    it’s good to see tassie gets a good spot

    peace and love

  358. Joseph Mueller says:

    Lorin, I love :

    the scar that itches
    all the way down
    to Tasmania

    Very funny! And Aldia, I love the image of the Crown Victoria careening. Great play on the issue of “queenliness”!

  359. Joseph Mueller says:

    okay, one more:

    captianed by pirates
    her sailing glances
    commandeer my heart

  360. Joseph Mueller says:

    oops, correct for typo!

    captained by pirates
    her sailing glances
    commandeer my heart

  361. lorin says:

    Hi Joseph, thanks… yeah, well :-)… maybe I should explain a bit for those of us who perhaps aren’t familiar with some Aust. jargon?

    ‘Tasmania’ is an affectionate term for an area of a woman’s body, as well as being that little island which is Australia’s southernmost state. (known for its pristine wilderness)

    (I hope you boys will understand that the scar, in context, is from a caesarian section?)

    lorin

    • gnunn says:

      Hello again,

      Thank you all for your well-wishes. I am still feeling pretty lousy, but finally feel like I have turned the corner and am starting to mend. The sharp crack of winter that hit last night didn’t help… but enough of my whinging, there are many fine poems to discuss!

      Again you have all outdone yourselves, providing a number of poems that could easily take the place of link #11 in this renku.

      Lorin’s ‘the scar that itches’ is wonderfully playful and very Australian. I have come back to it many, many times and each time it has made me smile.

      Rhonda’s ‘sparkie’ poem had a similar effect. This is such a vivid image … the word dangling, the perfect choice.

      Vasile’s ‘lullaby’ drew me in with it’s gentle song… I could clearly hear both voices singing in harmony.

      Joseph’s ‘rubber duck’ poem also captured me and I found myself readiong it as such:

      outdoor tub
      rubber ducklings bob
      through the moon

      A great image Joseph!

      Sandra’s ‘one red star’ was also a stand out for me and provided some really nice take off pints (excuse the pun) for future links.

      But in the end, I have gone with Barbara’s gritty ‘roadside stall’ image. This image hits hard and takes the renku into a whole new world. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

      Thank you all for your poems… as always I have loved spending time with them.

      Until next time,

      Graham

  362. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Thank you Graham. Do keep warm and get well soon.

    I wonder where we are going to next?

    peace and love

  363. Sandra says:

    a roadside stall …
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child

    (Barbara)

    opening up for the day –
    trading smiles with a stranger

    or

    four beady eyes watch
    as I nuzzle into his whiskers

  364. Sandra says:

    Nice poem Barbara – my son when aged about three had his imagination fired up in the ruins of a pre-Roman village in Cornwall and started hawking (pretend) “thrush on a stick” and “King Harry’s ale” from behind a stone slab!

    Couldn’t resist the whiskers. My husband has a beard – that I haven’t seen him without in our long relationship! There was a bit of resistance to it from elderly female rellies (along the lines of “what’s he hiding?”), but one great-aunt validated my choice by saying: Kissing a man without a beard is like eating eggs without salt!

    And thanks to you Graham for rising from your sick bed to keep us exploring all these new paths. (Hope it isn’t swine flu.) It’s nice to hear the rain on the roof (and not be standing at hockey practice); it’s even nicer to be reading, thinking and writing poetry.

  365. Anne Elvey says:

    Congratulations Barbara. Great choice, Graham. This opens up the renku in a really interesting and, as others have said, gritty way. I, too, hope you feel better soon.

  366. Rhonda says:

    Hi Barbara – just tuned in – congratulations – how fortunate we are in the Western world to have good food when we are in need of it

  367. Joseph Mueller says:

    Nice work, Barbara!

  368. lorin says:

    Congratulations, Barbara. Full of possibilities for linking!

  369. Aldia says:

    Congrats, Barbara! Graham, glad you are on the mend, and glad we are done with winter here in VT……..at least for now.

  370. Rhonda says:

    to follow Barbara’s
    ‘ a roadside stall….
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child’

    other side of town….
    five-course meal and supper

    out of the burn-off fire
    runs a smoking rabbit

    show day, my mouth sticky-pink
    with fairy floss

    pioneer christmas –
    coal-baked kangaroo-rat

    thank you Barbara – once again I’ve been inspired to write of (2 this time) things I’d forgotten about – and Lorin I loved you Tasmania ku – clever

  371. lorin says:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child (Barbara)

    eyeless chickens
    fatten in the cage

  372. lorin says:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child (Barbara)

    Basho’s girl-cat
    keeps a wary distance

  373. lorin says:

    hey, Rhonda …thanks 🙂

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child (Barbara)

    who else makes do
    on love and barley?

  374. bandit says:

    Get some, Lorin!

  375. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    and thank you all for your comments.

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child (Barbara)

    haiku once a day
    is fuel for the soul

    or

    knees trembling
    outside monsignor’s office

    or

    calliopsis spreads
    down the embankment

  376. Sandra says:

    a roadside stall …
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child

    (Barbara)

    waking from a dream of water –
    the sound of clogs on cobbles

    or

    we toast the new year
    with glasses stolen in a war

  377. bandit says:

    A fairly recent expression (Vietnam era), Lorin, meaning…
    oh, knock ’em dead, good work; that lot.

  378. bandit says:

    a roadside stall
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child / Barbara

    a turn of the wheel
    put your money on black

    squatting in the old barn
    Jesse James slept here

    just walk away
    and never look back

  379. Sandra says:

    Very nice “bandit” haiku, Willie 🙂

  380. Oh, shoot! I just noticed the moniker-had it changed for Tito’s site. Sorry…I wonder if he’s visited? I think he’d like it.
    Thanks for your kind words, Sandra.
    Yours and the other’s are killer, though.

    Where am I coming up with these phrases, today, anyway…?

  381. lorin says:

    a roadside stall …
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child

    (Barbara)

    just walk away
    and never look back

    (Willie)

    This works well for me, in what it says beneath what it says, if you know what I mean. [o, I’m not so articulate this chilly evening :-)] The effort implied, beneath the ‘order’.

    I’m wondering, Willie, if you might’ve actually been in Vietnam in the 60s or early 70s? My ancient passport from the time is stamped in purple ink, ‘not valid for Vietnam’. My bother-in-law… died there, in an airlift. ‘Friendly fire’. One hell of a time. My son has been there twice, in recent times, and loves it.

  382. lorin says:

    ..that should’ve been, ‘brother-in law’

  383. Vasile Moldovan says:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child
    (Barbara)

    a flash of lightning
    just show us the way
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  384. Lorin,

    Oh, heavens no! My lottery number in the draft was 11, but that wasn’t until ’74/’75. I didn’t mean to imply I had been! The draft ended soon after…
    There was talk of invading Cambodia at the time, which never materialized. Wasn’t politically correct…thus, perhaps, Pol Pot and 2 million dead…
    I grew up watching WWII movies and cowbys and Indians
    on Saturday afternoon TV…God, I would have had my ass shot off, or run off like a chicken man…maybe the former judging from some of the street episodes I’ve inadvertantly been involved in here of late. Sometimes you just can’t escape it.

    My best friend Steve is a Vietnam veteran. I never talked to him about it ’til I knew him for four years. And bless his heart, he’d never broach the subject.
    Got some funny stories though; hilarious, surreal! Once he got a medal for stealing a jeep! Long story…
    We got a last man’s club of sorts…got a bottle of Johnny Walker Black with a pair socks and a pack of Winstons in a regift wine box sittin’ here…everything a fella needs…
    One of us is gonna piss on the others grave…

    the Dragon’s breath
    makes the forest aflame!
    green, red and orange
    your ghost beckoning
    beautiful and surreal

    • lorin says:

      ah, yes…the odds and evens. Your ‘everyday’ prose is so lively and distinctive, Willie… and you have great stories…have you tried haibun? [Just a thought, I think you’d be really good at it. Ray Rassmussen’s a nice bloke and I’m sure he’d be happy to talk to you about it.]

      agent orange-
      solemnly, we burn incense
      for Vietnam

      summer of love…
      losing her virginity
      to five gurus

  385. Joseph Mueller says:

    Morning all! Willie, I love you rphrase, “run off like a chicken man”! Also your raw ku: “just walk away/and never look back”

    Lorin, “love and barley”? Been there several times! And love “Basho’s cat-girl”!

    Sandra, I really like your war-stolen glasses. Closely linked to Kurt Vonnegut’s war reminiscences I am reading now.

    Following Lorin:

    love blushed cheeks
    nothing wakes us but the wind

    or:

    saved by a cellar
    and two tin of beans

    or:

    I offered a truck
    but he only knew tank

    or:

    from the rubble
    a wren ascends

    or:

    despite my armor
    her laugh impales me

    Jeez! I’ve got to stop this perambulating and teach a class.

  386. Aldia says:

    Willie~ just walk away/and never look back……..wow! There are so many wonderful choices already.
    My contribution:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child
    (Barbara)

    trapped inside a bottle
    where no genie resides

  387. Origa says:

    Hi all, allow me to add one to all the lovely ku:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child (Barbara)

    a mountain torii
    to the ancient souls

  388. Joseph Mueller says:

    to play off Aldia:

    released from the lamp
    the genie seeks revenge

    or Poe:

    the imp in the bottle
    hungry no longer

  389. Aldia says:

    another:

    the snake sheds his skin
    despite himself, he can not change

  390. Aldia says:

    perhaps it should read:

    a snake sheds his skin
    despite himself, he can not change

  391. Gardien Claire says:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from the hungry child

    waking from a dream of water
    the sound of clogs on cobbles

    cheeks red with cold
    the child’s yule log
    covered with snow

    or

    frozen pond –
    teenagers rejoicing
    in the white moonlight

  392. Anne Elvey says:

    Wow! So many great ku this time and so many ways to go — too many to comment on — I am tempted to just wait and see where the renku goes next, but perhaps I will throw some ku into the mix…

    a roadside stall …
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child

    (Barbara)

    everyone gathers
    around a trickle in the mud

    gazelles and lions frequent
    the same waterhole

  393. ashleycapes says:

    Welcome Claire!

    Good to see you hear – the ‘sound of clogs’ ku is fantastic.

    (Some of you may know Claire as Normandy from the Gean Tree Press pages)

  394. ashleycapes says:

    Oh, Claire, just realised I hadn’t mentioned that the kasen renku has an additional structural requirement – a 3 line link is always followed by a 2 line link, (just like your ‘clog’ ku) 🙂

  395. Aldia says:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child
    (Barbara)

    just a flicker of light remains
    still a buzzard pecks at road-kill

  396. Hey Aldia,

    I don’t mean to steal your thunder, dear, but this reminds me of an old ku I wrote last winter;

    lean times
    crows worrying road kill

    Didn’t mean to step on your toes, girl. Will you still dance with me?

    Willie

  397. Sandra says:

    Uh, Ashley the ‘clogs’ ku is mine 🙂 I guess Claire inadvertantly copied it into her posting.
    And Aldia please say you’ll dance with Willie … 🙂 🙂

  398. Aldia says:

    Willie~You really are a bandit! ; – ) ; – ) I’m not sure how to make the smilies like Sandra, but of course I’ll still dance with you! I wanted to use road-kill and buzzard, but I really like your “lean times”.

  399. Aldia says:

    graduation caps fly
    another leaves the roost

  400. Joseph Mueller says:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child
    (Barbara)

    tail between teeth
    the tabby purrs

    or:

    Dickensian poor
    eat Christmas goose

    or:

    stalled in the rain
    a driver sips brandy

    or:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook

  401. Claire Gardien says:

    Hi, all of you – just forgot to introduce myself yesterday, sorry !

    a roadside stalls…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child (Barbara)

    waking from a dream of water
    the sound of clogs on cobbles (Sandra)

    Yes, Sandra, I knew it was yours – Just wanted to see it again… (dream of water : Lizst’s Villa d’Este ! > So much delightful water music opposed to clogs on cobbles…)

    branch after another…
    the squirrel’s nut cascading down (Claire)

    sudden gust of wind
    a thunderstorm
    breaks open a trunk in two (Cl)

    Really like Aldia’s ku :

    just a flicker of light remains
    still a buzzard pecks on road-kill

    night falling on the forest
    white phantoms dance
    in the mist by the pond (Cl)

    Just stop here -do not know well which ku it is !! Please, tell-me !

    • ashleycapes says:

      Hi Claire! Can do.

      Ok, so the group is working on writing a link for #12 which should follow #11 by Barbara:

      a roadside stall…
      grilled mouse on a stick
      from a hungry child (Barbara)

      And because #11 is a three line haiku, #12 must be a 2 line haiku

      like you have with

      branch after another…
      the squirrel’s nut cascading down (Claire)

      Then, Graham, our renku leader, will choose the haiku that fits best and we move on, responding to that link.

      The structure is available on the ‘About’ page and the ‘Current Renku’ page shows the group which link we are up to

      Hope that helps 🙂

      Ashley

    • lorin says:

      Hi Claire/ Normandy 🙂 …good to see you here. We’re all learning a lot through participating in these rengas/renkus.

  402. Claire Gardien says:

    Yes, Ashley, it helps. Plenty to read, though (+ the different links to websites). Iliked Orga’s Torii, too.
    Others, too ! However, it depends on one’s tastes, too-
    The best is waiting for Graham to give his judgment !
    Nice PM for everybody !
    Cl

  403. Claire Gardien says:

    HI to you all,

    Just add for link 12,

    purple dried leaves crackling on the path
    air thrilled with autumn sugared smells

    Claire

  404. Aldia says:

    under a canopy of trees
    a lightening bug tatoo

  405. Aldia says:

    oops to early to spell

    under a canopy of trees
    a lightening bug tattoo

  406. Thanks Lorin,

    For me the memory of that time is more telling now than the confused state of affairs and where my mind was at that time.
    Had a haibun and a coupla ku published in the last World Haiku Review. Go to my bloggie spot and click a label under
    this haibun and I got 5 or 6 of ’em. They’ll pop up.
    Yeah, I posted this, with minor edits, and filled out the tanka some.
    I like the edit feature ’cause I am always revising.
    I used to write nothin’ but occasional prose-like essays before I started writing haiku. That and letters to the editor!

    my life, in essence
    was the way, bunbu itchi
    though I did not know

  407. Joseph Mueller says:

    Morning All!

    Question: are some of our ku breaking out of the general guidlelines for sound-unit length? While strong imagistically, some lines seem much too long for this form. Comments?

    Back to grading!

    Here are two that follow Barbara’s ku more closely:

    a roadside stall…
    grilled mouse on a stick
    from a hungry child
    (Barbara)

    a priceless gift
    worth nothing to a rich man

    or:

    coins are food
    only to bankers

    • gnunn says:

      A slightly belated hello to everyone,

      It has been a torrid week after being off work for 5 days with the flu… trying to wrap up the school term and struggling to keep my head above water (papers to be more accurate).

      But, I have been following closely the conversations and of course the poems. This time around there were four poems that really stood out to me. Poems with the potential to lead us somewhere new and unexpected.

      These poems:

      Happy Meal bags
      swan-like in the brook

      (Joseph)

      just walk away
      and never look back

      (Willie)

      we toast the new year
      with glasses stolen in a war

      (Sandra)

      Basho’s girl-cat
      keeps a wary distance

      (Lorin)

      After much procrastination (yes I really meant to pst this on Thursday night and then couldn’t decide), I have chosen Joseph’s poem. This is a stark contrast to Barbara’s roadside stall poem, but equally as devastating. I recently watched a documentary on the landfill crisis we are facing and this poem began circling my head.

      Thank you as always to everyone for your poems. It is such a joy for me to read each and every one of them. And welcome to our new contributors.

      We are now officially one third of the way through our renku.

      Link #13 is 3 lines, moon theme (with either a summer or winter flavour).

      Hope you all have a beautiful weekend,

      Graham

  408. Ooh! I’ve got an idea formin’ in me head-

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    cold moon
    new facades can’t disguise
    this old town

    December moon
    a homeless man startled
    by his shadow

    Oop-northern hemisphere-

    “winter” moon
    a homeless man startled
    by his shadow

    • lorin says:

      …catching on, Willie :-).. We’ll get through that insulation yet! 🙂 Yep…it’s now being recognised [whew…after much wrangling!] that in international renga/renku ,the names of the months are not ‘kigo’, or seasonal references, but just calendar references. April is not he cruellest month, everywhere. The earth has two hemispheres after all :-)… [& you do not need the quotes around winter]

      yours truly,
      ‘southern bitch’ 🙂

      & ps…send me some haiku! [please] in your voice.

  409. Aldia says:

    Congratulations, Joseph!

  410. Joseph says:

    Well, thanks Graham and All! I am glad you chose the swan image though, as I see more pollution than waterfowl lately.

    And thanks, Willie, for the exuberance!

    Coincidentally, the ku Graham chose were the exact same ones I chose in my fantasy renku master yellow legal pad game. Kudos, Graham! (Are you my brother?)

    Here is my first entrance for ku #13:

    does not the moon condone
    lovers beneath boughs
    villains, daggers drawn?

  411. Joseph says:

    Willie, I really like this one from you:

    cold moon
    new facades can’t disguise
    this old town

    Very Pogues-like.

    Joe

  412. Keiji Minato says:

    Hi, it’s nice to be back in the party. Joseph’s has a really strong image and rich connotation. Wonderful! Here are mine for the 13th:

    cooled-off moon
    in the pane of the office
    too air-conditioned

    a book of short stories
    you bought at US$1
    summer moon

    *

    (Joseph) Question: are some of our ku breaking out of the general guidlelines for sound-unit length? While strong imagistically, some lines seem much too long for this form. Comments?
    I agree, Joseph. Longer lines are not necessarily bad, but it seems off-balance if a two-line part has more syllables than the previous or following three-line poem. In the Cordite renga, I found it really hard to choose longer (but wonderful!) pieces. I guess Graham does so too. Shorter ones are generally more open for other poems, I think. I wouldn’t like to set a specific limit, though…

    • lorin says:

      Hi Keiji,
      rightly or wrongly, it seems that it’s generally accepted that English-language haiku [and I imagine this would apply to English-language ku in renga/renku, as well] are ’17 syllables or less’, often with the emphasis on ‘less’. Whilst minimalism is not the goal, the ‘overstuffed’ isn’t the ideal, either.

      I like your comment about ‘balance’.

  413. Claire says:

    Hi to you all ! Trying to take part !

    frost bitten fingers
    buying a cartload of vegs
    for a hot boiled beef

    *
    It seems to me that to be in balance, all the ku have to be on a spoken rhythm ; so, to keep the renku lively, just like in a conversation.

  414. Claire says:

    To Joe : the moon condones, of course, being master of all sky and earth elements/events ! In fact, I’d like to know more on the importance of the moon in the Japanese civilisation… If, Keiji had time, one day, to tell us more…

    “Pogues” ? Joe, what do you mean ? Thanks !

    Another one (summer)

    rising moon
    the sunset
    begins at dawn

    shells on the beach
    people hurry up
    — listening to news from afar

  415. Sandra says:

    Love your “rising moon” ku Claire.

    moonlight
    filling the wood basket
    to the brim

    or

    country dance –
    we reel
    under the moon

  416. Barbara A Taylor says:

    congrats Joseph!

    my offerings:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    moonshine directs
    an ugly duckling
    to the icy pond

    bouncing shadows
    between golden arches
    at the ski resort

    prozac induced
    under a pale moon
    she dances naked

    peace and love

  417. ashleycapes says:

    Congratulations, Joseph, an excellent link!

    Really like the way the grace of swans has been brought in to contrast with the trash and also the way that it links back to the grilled animal, but also, how the hungry child is followed by the happy meal. top work and well-chosen I feel, Graham!

    Love Claire’s ‘shells’ ku, reminds me of a real ‘old-world’ moment where news comes off great ships

    And the fantastic ‘basket’ , ‘prozac’ and ‘cooled’ kus from Sandra, Barbara & Keiji too!

    .

    I think Joseph & Keiji might have hit upon something here, so are we all pretty happy to say that most english haiku (generally) span anywhere between (approx) 9-15 syllables total before becomming a little unwieldly?

    But as, Keiji noted, it might not do to set a strict limit. I’m sure Graham wouldn’t mind if something brilliant came along that was 8 or 16

    • ashleycapes says:

      Geeze, what a confident statement I’ve put up there! 🙂
      ‘Generally’, ‘approx’, ‘anywhere between’ etc!

      • lorin says:

        Congrats Joseph… yes, the rubbish left over from ‘happy meals’ from the ‘golden arch’ establishments often end up in the creek here, too.

  418. Claire says:

    Geeze ! Ashley ! Didn’t-you hear about that French form, eleven moraes ?!! 3/5/3
    Here is one of me :

    sur le mur
    le ver se tortille
    dans son bec

    Oops ! I’m running away – Who will be translating that ?
    Too early, sorry !

    All those different ideas in the different kus, that’s amazing and great !

    • ashleycapes says:

      Ah, yes! The eleven! 🙂

      It’s much better than the 5-7-5 taught in many schools, but even 3-5-3 is a little perscriptive for me (I just love to break rules!)

      So how about the sound unit/syllable count between English and French? Is it very different? (If English assimilated a lot of older French words, maybe the difference won’t be that great?)

      Could you transalte for us, Claire, that’d be great!

      Ashley

    • lorin says:

      “Who will be translating that ?”

      You, I hope, Claire 🙂

      [ I am so dumb about other languages]

  419. That’s “bee-atch” to you, Lorin.
    I think that’s Northern hemisphere, too.

    xxx

    Willie

  420. Joseph Mueller says:

    Morning All! Thanks fior your wonderful comments, Keiji, Ashley, Barbara.

    Keiji, as a traveler, I love your:

    a book of short stories
    you bought at US$1
    summer moon

    How manytimes have I stuffed books in my pockets running from airport to airport!

    Claire: the Pogues were a raucous, fun, Irish band blending punk elements with traditional songs and moving ppaens to immigrant experience. I recommend the albums: “Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash,” and “If I Should Fall from Grace with God.” Willie’s ku about :this old town” reminded me of the Pogues’ songs, “Dirty Old Town.” and “Fairy tale of New York.”

    Barbara: I really like your ku:

    bouncing shadows
    between golden arches
    at the ski resort

    bvut I don’t know if there is a MacDonald’s on the slopes or just the moonlight over the chairlifts. Here’s one from me:

    moonshine jugglers
    stumble-dance slowly
    impromptu waltz

  421. lorin says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook (Joseph

    cold moon…
    an x-ray shows the bullet
    in the wing-bone

    [yes, it’s true…recent photo of the x-ray + short article in the local paper. Sometimes, I think, I could happily take a gun to some blokes. I’m an ex vet’s nurse… that’s ‘veterinary nurse’, for our USA friends …I know that ‘vet’s nurse’ means something else to you 🙂

    And i will never forget , waiting in the local magistrates’ court re a traffic infringement, listening to someone caught with several shot kookaburras in the boot of their car referring to the birds as ‘ha ha ducks’, and pleading ignorance re laws pertaining to the exception of native birds from the shooting season. Grrrr! I was ropable!]

  422. Aldia says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    sunken treasure ship
    secret moonlit dive
    running out of oxygen

  423. Claire says:

    Thanks to Joseph, I’ll try to find them on “youtube” ! Generally speaking, the Irish are said to be hilarant…

    Love Joseph’ jugglers with moon and impromptu waltz, something not ordinary, poetry to me !

    So, the 3/5/3 can be (literally translated) :

    on the wall
    the sworm wriggles
    in its beak

    and, for the form, maybe :

    on the wall
    sworm’s strong wrigglings
    in its beak

    Difficult to say that unit sound/syllables can be the same in French and English. Even for the French words that entered the English language with William the Conqueror ! Think how difficult it is for both sides’ locuters to understand themselves ! Then, English has diphtongs and not French !
    Lorin, what you did was great for animals ; think that nowadays, even grand-mothers are being forgotten on road stop-overs !

    beach stretching away
    in the shades of the night
    – creschent moon

  424. Aldia says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook (Joseph)

    Sagittarius draws his bow
    shooting stars through
    a moonlit sky

  425. lorin says:

    Reading back over the renku, I realise that ‘bullet’ in my ‘cold moon’ ku makes it too close to Sandra’s ‘lead shot’ in verse #2, so I’m changing it to:

    cold moon…
    an x-ray shows the hole
    in the wing-bone

    Ok, that’s my ‘winter + moon’ ku sub to follow Joseph’s. Here’s a ‘summer + moon’ one:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    the moon sets
    leaving a scattered trail
    of blue jellyfish

  426. lorin says:

    … or

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    in the moon’s wake
    a scattered trail
    of blue jellyfish

  427. lorin says:

    Hi Claire,
    Thanks for the translation.

    on the wall
    the sworm wriggles
    in its beak

    I think you might mean ‘worm’? In the original [French], did you indicate what sort of beak…what bird it belonged to? We know that worms don’t have beaks, but here you’ve used the possessive [its] without showing any other possible possessor of the beak but the worm! Maybe it could be ‘in a blackbird’s beak’, or another kind of bird?

    lorin

  428. lorin says:

    o, duh…trigeminal neuralgia…the pain & the painkillers seem to render concentration difficult!

    My revision of ‘cold moon’ should be:

    cold moon
    an x-ray shows a hole
    in the wing-bone

  429. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook
    (Joseph)

    children’s visages
    stuck by the window pane-
    cold moon
    or
    winter moonset-
    who knows how many times
    without witnesses?!
    or
    Waiting for the moonrise,
    the cigarette blows out itself
    in my right hand
    or
    My sweetheart
    and the winter moon:
    twin kami(s)
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  430. Aldia says:

    moon-faced children
    gazing skyward, pressing out
    cookie-cutter snow angels

  431. Joseph Mueller says:

    Aldia, i really like this ku of yours:

    moon-faced children
    gazing skyward, pressing out
    cookie-cutter snow angels

    I also love your Sagittarius shooting stars! And Lorin, love the blue jellyfish, iridescent in mmonwake. Lovely images.

    Here is a summer-moon ku froom me:

    breakfast is moonlit
    lunch is spent entangling
    the satin sheets

  432. Joseph Mueller says:

    Oops, let me modify my ku for nascence and clarity:

    breakfast is moonlit
    lunch spent entangling
    the satin sheets

    or, a travel-moon ku:

    the journey east
    mountains in my rearview
    mooncows and changelings

  433. Claire says:

    stars blinking
    in the night sky
    — message to the earth

    Yours, quite delicate, Aldia !

    In a previous post, I wanted to say “crescent moon”; so, writing it again :

    beach stretching away
    in the shades of the night
    – crescent moon

    Yes, Lorin, I meant “worm” ! However, pretty sorry to say that it seems impossible to enter a specie of bird in a 3/5/3 unit form, at least that’s how I understand it. Adding a bird specie, then the 3 units can’t be respected ? Is-there a way in English ?
    “Its”, possessive adjective, was necessary to express I wanted to say which bird on the wall it was > the one with a worm wriggling in its beak. As haiku is an open form to whom reads it, then, everybody can imagine the bird he feels like seing there. Can-you agree with me ? Just hope so !

    on the wall
    the worm is wriggling
    in its beak
    It may imperfect in English, even ununderstandable, however in French, it is ! That’s why languages are difficult : we don’t speak the same way !

    • lorin says:

      ps Claire…are you familiar with Serge Tomas’s site, ‘Temps Libre/ Free Times’? It’s a bit hard to navigate through all the bits and find things, but he has excellent haiku in his archives in English…and, I assume, in French too [though I don’t read French] Worthwhile, anyway:

      http://www.tempslibres.org/

  434. Claire says:

    “It may be imperfect”, sorry, I wrote “It may imperfect” –
    Bbye !

  435. Sandra says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook
    (Joseph)

    rose-moon rising
    the weightlessness
    of my breasts

    or

    harvest moon
    splintered
    by the pine

  436. Sandra says:

    Sorry Claire, I’m with Lorin:

    on the wall
    the worm is wriggling
    in its beak

    Yes, leaving a haiku open to interpretation is a very good way of writing … but this says the wall has a beak. There’s no other interpretation because nothing other than the wall has been referred to, so that’s what “its” applies to.

    My friend who turned 50 recently was given a set of 3 flying ducks (mirrors, not the traditional china) for her home. She was thrilled! So, just for Claire:

    on the wall
    a worm wriggles
    in a china beak
    🙂

  437. lorin says:

    on the wall
    the worm is wriggling
    in its beak

    Hi Claire and Sandra,
    well, there is one possible interpretation besides the wall having a beak…and that is the equally surreal image of the worm wriggling in its own beak! Literal translation, keeping the 3-5-3 form, seems out of the question. I tip my hat to translators…such a difficult job!

  438. Joseph says:

    Lorin, like Ouroborous? The wyrm that swallows its own tail?

    I don’t think it’s impossible to include a bird specie in the constraints of the haiku form:

    on the wall
    the worm wriggles
    from the crow’s beak

    just a suggestion, Claire! (AND the worm gets away!)

    “Rose-moon”: very evocative, Sandra 😉

    Thinking about how the moon is often seen as a reflecting surface, maybe slightly distortional or perhaps insightful. Hence:

    the bronze mirror
    of a winter moon
    shows me darkly

    or, in a lighter tone:

    moonlight mayhem
    spooks the sleeping bats
    squeak! squeak! squeak!

  439. Origa says:

    Hello, and thanks Joseph for the challenging ku. There are already many good three-liners suggested, I especially like Barbara’s ugly duckling, and Claire’s rising moon.

    These are my three copecs 🙂

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    ***
    full summer moon
    outlines her belly
    of eighth month

    ***
    he’s home late
    nose marks on the moon
    in the window

    ***
    frozen moon
    in a bedroom mirror
    some new wrinkles

  440. lorin says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up

    moonrise
    the belly dancer
    rolls her eyes

  441. ashleycapes says:

    Wow, Lorin, the ‘puffer-fish’ ku is startling image! 🙂

  442. lorin says:

    Hi Ashley…thanks 🙂 in Japan, they eat them [with some special preparation] not me!

    …came back to add one:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    belly dance school
    the moon
    at the window

  443. Joseph Mueller says:

    Lorin, I like a play on your belly dancer:

    moonrise
    the belly dancer
    rolls her hips

    Just seemed more fluid to me. What do you think?

    Origa, I like “he’s home late” and definitely, “some new wrinkles”!

    • lorin says:

      Hi Joseph… well, ‘rolls her hips’ is a bit too predictable, for my taste…leaves little for the reader to infer?

      🙂 ‘fluid’ though, in movement, yes.

  444. Joseph Mueller says:

    Strange dreams and constellations:

    Gemini twins
    cradle to grave hold hands
    moon children

    or, for the more mythologically bent of us:

    Castor and Pollux
    moon-fed Argonauts
    sky children

  445. Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    cold rain
    the footie pitch
    a tearful moon

    Had a chance to watch Western Bulldogs rain on Port Adelaide-Wow!

  446. Aldia says:

    Sagittarius draws his bow
    shooting stars and moonbeams like
    Aurora Borealis

    or for the Southern Hemisphere:

    Sagittarius draws his bow
    shooting stars and moonbeams like
    Aurora Australis

    perhaps I do not need the word “like”…..I want to make it clear however I am aware it is not the moon or stars which create the auroral display…. I am only comparng the image.

    Sagittarius draws his bow
    shooting stars and moonbeams
    Aurora Borealis (Australis)

    any thoughts?

    • lorin says:

      any thoughts? [Aldia]

      Hi Aldia…well, it seems to me that you have a lot happening in that ku, in each of the versions. Perhaps it’s a tad crowded?

      The idea is to consider Joseph’s ku, then come up with ku which links to it and also shifts into new territory in some way. If it were mine, I’d use the constellation, Sagittarius, alone for L1. Readers will know that it signifies ‘the archer’, among other things. Then tie it in with Joseph’s ku in the following 2 lines.

      Sagittarius…
      L2
      L3

      • lorin says:

        ps…of course you’d have to have the moon somewhere in there, too. Anothyer way would be to begin with ‘moonbeams’ or ‘a moonbeam’ in L1.

  447. Aldia says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    skinny-dipping
    with my boyfriend
    under a moonlit sky

    or with my luck, since I would probably be caught……

    tarred and feathered
    for skinny-dipping with my boyfriend
    under a moonlit sky

  448. Aldia says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook / Joseph

    skinny-dipping
    with my boyfriend
    under a moolit sky

    or with my luck, I would be caught…

    tarred and feathered
    for skinny-dipping with my boyfriend
    under a moonlit sky

    or myabe…

    tarred and feathered
    under a moonlit sky
    for skinny-dipping with my boyfriend

    I am too indecisive right now….need to go bike! 🙂

  449. Joseph says:

    Aldia, I think the final version is the best. Sometimes, using the simile-inducing “like” lessens the impact of the connection being made. Hang with metaphor!

    Your choice of Northern or Southern hemisphere!

  450. Joseph says:

    Aldia, I agree with Lorin. So maybe something like,

    Sagittarius
    arrowing moonbeams
    Aurora Australias

    or some such variation. It’s a beautiful ku, but Lorin’s right, TMI.

    • Aldia says:

      Thank you lorin and Joseph. lol….I agree! My mind was racing, now I am back from a bike ride with a beautiful sunset and able to think a bit more clearly. I believe Joseph has helped make it quite lovely…I will choose Northern Hemisphere though.

      Sagittarius
      arrowing moonbeams
      Aurora Borealis Joseph/Aldia

  451. Anne Elvey says:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook (Joseph)

    all night rain —
    how I wish I could take it
    home

    paper mache —
    wind sculpts in the back streets
    of the rain

    a great bird
    arcs over the road —
    rainbow

  452. Aldia says:

    let me have another go….

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook (Joseph)

    moonlit sky
    skinny-dipping
    with my boyfriend

    another version, since I would certainly be caught

    moonlit sky
    skinny-dipping with my boyfriend
    tarred and feathered

  453. Aldia says:

    another try:

    Happy Meal bags
    swan-like in the brook (Joseph)

    moonlit sky
    skinny-dipping
    with my boyfriend

    another version since I would certainly be caught:

    moonlit sky
    skinny-dipping with my boyfriend
    tarred and feathered

  454. Claire says:

    Origa’s full moon sems wondrous !

    Two kopecks this morning !

    swinging on the beach ~
    a shell on each ear
    – sea’s singing waves

    sudden gust of wind
    autumn leaves fly their hues
    in the moonlight

    Thanks to Sandra for “the China beak” –

    • gnunn says:

      Wow… This snail is a hive of action.

      I cannot believe how many amazing poems have been submitted in response to Joseph’s ‘Happy Meal’ku. Scintillating stuff people!

      Great to see the discussion is still rigorous as well. My two bob’s worth on the length issue – I am definitely a less is more kinda guy, and the notion of balance is something that I definitely look for in each poem.

      Also great to see that 6 of us have kicked off a Junicho. Am eager to see how that unwinds…

      But, to the poems.

      With so many poems to choose from it was extremely difficult to make the short list, well… short.

      Here are the poems that I felt would take us on a ‘great leap forward’.

      cold moon
      new facades can’t disguise
      this old town

      (bandit)

      Loved it that Joseph, brought in a reference to The Pogues re: this poem. Made me take out my Rum, Sodomy & the Lash LP and give it a spin. This poem has grit and I can really feel the cold.

      a book of short stories
      you bought at US$1
      summer moon

      (Keiji)

      Such a great image Keiji… I was just reminiscing that this time last year I was landing in Vancouver. Books and travel go hand in hand.

      rising moon
      the sunset
      begins at dawn

      (Claire)

      A subtle yet colourful image Claire.. signals a new beginning, which opens up some nice options.

      country dance –
      we reel
      under the moon

      (Sandra)

      This is superb Sandra… the gravitational pull of the moon, strong enough to have even the dancers orbitting.

      moonlit sky
      skinny-dipping
      with my boyfriend

      (Aldia)

      The colour of the moon and of the bather’s skin really struck me… and the curves. Beautiful.

      he’s home late
      nose marks on the moon
      in the window

      (Origa)

      When my dog passed away a few years ago, one of the hardest things I had to do was clean his nose marks off the car window… this is magnificent Origa… such longing.

      moonrise
      a puffer fish floats
      belly-up

      (Lorin)

      Lorin, this is a real gem. Moon and pufferfish, belly up on the surface.

      So, after much deliberation, I have decided to go with Lorin’s pufferfish. Following Joseph’s poem, I felt it was time we were washed out to sea.

      Link #14 is 2 lines su/w.

      Thank you all again for your contributions. I am richer for them.

      Graham

  455. Joseph says:

    Congratulations, Lorin! But I wouldn’t eat the delicacy either! no matter how well prepared! Off to the bookstore. Joe

  456. lorin says:

    Hi, Graham…thanks! pleased you like the image and how it fitted with Joseph’s ku. I got some ironic satisfaction by imagining the cause of death for this poisonous fish might’ve been consumption of the remains of a ‘Happy Meal’ 🙂
    It’s actually an image from one of my ‘long’ poems [unpublished] pared down a bit. [no ‘happy meal’ in that] Of the ku I submitted, the only one ‘recycled’ in this way.

    Interesting, in general, how an image can change in its implications in context of what other image/s it sits beside. I think all good haiku writers understand this, but having come to renga/renku after haiku, what I’ve learnt now [about half-way through my 2nd renga] confirms what I’d heard… that participating in renga/renku is a great way of discovering what makes haiku tick.

    Some interesting images and progressions in ‘frosted hinges’, by you & Ashley, that I just read, too.

    Hi Joseph…thanks! Even the seagulls don’t eat them [except for the eyes] when they wash up on the beach here, around Port Philip Bay. Nothing does.

  457. Claire says:

    Hi Lorin!

    What, on earth, is a pufferfish ?? Big as a baraccuda ?
    (don’t laugh at me, please, this is quite a serious question !)

    puffer fish in puff-paste
    his belly stuffed with new garlic

    French cooking at Versailles o)

    or :

    puffer fish on the table
    teeth graspng the full moon

    • lorin says:

      Hi Claire… there’s a photo of one here, in its defensive, puffed up state, though it’s blue instead of mostly white:

      They’re common in the Pacific and related bays, I think. In Japan, they’re called ‘fugu’, and special chefs are licensed [I believe] to prepare and cook them so they don’t poison people. Still, I can’t help thinking it’s like a Japanese form of ‘Russian roulette’.

      Another name for them here is ‘blowfish’.

      🙂 …not, not as big as a barracuda…and they don’t bite yr fingers off if you trail yr fingers in the water while the boat’s moving, either. It’s just that puffer fish are poison to eat. [My father never failed to warn me that barracuda like fast-moving bait and a little finger would be irresistable]

      • Claire says:

        Hi Lorin,
        This fish seems impressive… Sort of moon full of air, and dangerously pricky !
        Fugu or not, I don’t feel attracted, even hungry !
        By the way, do you know that Japanese and French “best” cookers now go along quite well for working together and at new recipes ?

  458. Claire says:

    sorry :

    puffer fish in the oven
    tooth grasping the full moon

  459. Aldia says:

    Bravo lorin! Eeew, Eye eating sounds like a disgusting delicacy! No, thank you for me too!

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    summer road kill
    buzzard barbeque

    • lorin says:

      Hi Aldia… love your image here, but perhaps ‘buzzard barbeque’ is summing up a tad? Also it reads a bit like an eqation…’summer road kill = buzzard barbeque’. Consider something like:

      buzzards [verb…eg clean up, attend etc]
      the summer road kill

      or the likes of:

      road kill stripped
      by buzzards

  460. Joseph says:

    Anything with garlic sounds good to me!

    I am going to try to go somewhere else with this next ku:

    the fishermen
    reach out to their sons

    or:

    the three-bladed ceiling fan
    loses to august heat

    • lorin says:

      the three-bladed ceiling fan
      loses to august heat

      I like this image a lot, Joseph, Ceiling fan can seem to have its defences, just like a puffer fish has. I’m not keen on ‘august’, the month name prefacing ‘heat’ though, for a renku with participants from both hemispheres of the world.

      How about ‘midday heat’ etc?

      [this is currently a ‘hot’ topic 😉 …I know that August = Summer in North American season lists like Bill Higginson’s, and that the month names have been acceptable for some time, and are based on Japanese kigo]

  461. Sandra says:

    Very nice ku Lorin, very evocative, and Joseph love your “three-bladed ceiling fan”:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    tropical garden –
    the leaf blinks!

    or

    early summer –
    the sound of a paper plane

  462. ashleycapes says:

    Thank you, Lorin and congratulations! Nice ku there with the fan, Joseph!

  463. Joseph says:

    Thanks, Ashley and Sandra! Love “the sound of a paper plane”. Whoosh. Sigh.

    Humid, muggy, and unexpectedly hot this Vermont night. So, art imitating life:

    the night so heat-heavy
    I line the bed with ice

  464. Claire says:

    Thanks Lorin for tne explanations ! I’m afraid for Joe’s bed : a pufferfish in all this melting ice ?

    hungry cranes and storks
    this belly-fish an appetizing bait

    or

    paper pink floyds’s mocking fly
    around the belly-up bait

  465. Aldia says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection

    mom tries to wipe a spot off my chin
    a new summer freckle!

    and one winter:

    waiting for Christmas to pass
    father leaves the next morning

  466. Vasile Moldovan says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up
    (Lorin)

    and a paper boat
    in the mercy of the waves
    or
    a hourse child
    talking in its sleep
    (Vasile Moldovan)

    • lorin says:

      and a paper boat
      in the mercy of the waves

      Nice one, Vasile… that boat hasn’t much chance of staying afloat.

      Do you need the ‘and’? It works without that obvious conjunction. Also, I’d go for ‘at’ for the preposition…I know, prepositional idioms in English are weird 🙂

  467. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    congratulations Lorin!

    my offerings:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    ex GM workers
    fly swatting in dole queues

    champagne and caviar
    above the coral reef

    absolutely fabulous
    gay pride at Mardi Gras

    ~~~

    peace and love

  468. ashleycapes says:

    Yes, congratulations, Lorin – nice work with the mix of poison fish and poison happy meals!

    Here’s one for fun!

    post-dentist cheeks –
    in the mirror
    an uncertain smile

    Love Aldia’s ‘clamming’ too

  469. Sandra says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    island choir –
    last night’s firewalkers

  470. Claire says:

    not easy tofind a way out of the belly !

    blue balloons at summer fair
    big with carbon dioxide

    kids diving in the moonlight
    splashed with amber foam

    dream of a summer night
    sea rough on the remparts

    a winter one :
    under the old streetlamp
    his love letter crushed with frost

    • lorin says:

      “not easy to find a way out of the belly !”

      😉 ha, Claire, that reminds me of the bible story about the man who was swallowed by a whale.

      • lorin says:

        under the old streetlamp
        his love letter crushed with frost

        I like this one best of these 3 , Claire. You could make it briefer without losing much, I think. eg

        beneath the streetlamp
        his love letter crushed with frost

        even:

        beneath the streetlamp
        his crushed love letter

  471. Anne Elvey says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    the slow motion poet
    with his lava lamp

    white mittens clasp
    a steaming verse

    under the thin sun
    her breath blows white

    a coolamon cradles
    a wisp of cloud

    • lorin says:

      the slow motion poet
      with his lava lamp

      Hi Anne… nice image …& I can believe it…’performance poet’?

      • Anne Elvey says:

        Thanks Lorin
        I like the moonrise/puffer fish image — very clear and evocative…
        Anne

  472. willie says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly up / Lorin

    under the porch light
    the dog paws at a june bug

    • lorin says:

      After i googled ‘june bug’ and saw that these look much like our Christmas Beetles, this works for me. moon/porch light, fish/beetle, sea/land… If that beetle [yes, it is a beetle 😉 ] isn’t belly-up now, it will be soon. I’ve had cats that do that.

  473. willie says:

    oops. sorry Lorin.

    moonrise a puffer fish belly up

  474. willie says:

    vasilie,

    would you consider-

    a paper boat
    at the mercy of the waves

    dropping the article “a”- I don’t feel it is neccessary

    “at”, to me, is a more common usage, perhaps creating
    more suspense, where “in” could sound as though the
    waves are sympathetic, unless that’s what you saw the waves to be

  475. willie says:

    vasilie,

    I also like

    a hoarse child
    talking in its sleep

    and Joseph’s

    the fishermen
    reach out to their sons

  476. Claire says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly up/Lorin

    gull on a plot
    waiting for fishboats’ return

    a dolphin flies over
    the rising red moon

    two doves on a roof
    watching the moon cry

  477. willie says:

    Claire Dear,

    We can’t use two moon references in a row.

    Oh, excuse me, the one who clouds my mind beckons.

  478. Rhonda says:

    in the pool, in her new
    cover-all bathers

  479. willie says:

    Vasilie,

    I meant to say drop “and” as uneccessary; I understand it quite well, though my mind is clouded.

  480. ashleycapes says:

    Hi Claire, I realised I may not have mentioned this and should have told you, but the structure (including the order of season words) is on the ABOUT page – should be the first one, autumn kasen renga

  481. Sandra says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    playing the silly games
    he never played with me

    or

    the last steam locomotive
    he pushes me forward

    • lorin says:

      the last steam locomotive
      he pushes me forward [Sandra}

      Priceless, Sandra, in its double meaning! 😉

      [it wouldn’t be quite right, I know, but L1 could be shortened by using ‘engine’ instead of locomotive…though I see the possible pun in ‘loco- motive’, the rest is more than sufficient, imo]

      • lorin says:

        …or ‘train’?

        It’s just that the bloke and his ‘loco motive’ interferes with what I think is a witty and unresolvable ambiguity, [is he a gallant ‘ladies first’ type, or is he helping you to an Anna Karenina ending?] as well as the overall length of the ku.

        the last steam train
        he pushes me forward
        ?

  482. Claire says:

    Thank you, Willy… to tell me – your moon beckons… (m mind clouded, too !)

    in her straw hat
    wild strawberries

    a book on the table corner
    “The silence of the sea”

    choosing “Vendée-Globe”
    for the new born’s first name

  483. Rhonda says:

    thanks Lorin

    or this might be better –

    dog paddling in her new
    cover-all bathers

  484. willie says:

    Oh, Claire, these are wonderful! I especially like the wild strawberries in her hat- is she charmingly daffy? Or maybe grandmother didn’t bring her basket…or both!

    I don’t speak French, but the name chosen for the baby seems to me unusual and eccentric in nature; perhaps a first time mom living out her discomfort and fear in obsessing on names, thus dispelling her anxiety in an unusual display of coping, the impending birth a denouncement of the stark reality of death and suffering.

    • Claire says:

      Sorry, Willy to have to tell you there is nobody daffy there ! Just turning around one’s hat to fill it with a strawberry crop !
      And nothing eccentric in the baby’s name ! The Vendée-Globe is a famous skippers’ race…

  485. Sandra says:

    Nice to see your comments Lorin (how do I answer your answer in the same space?).
    I had been thinking about this ku overnight myself because I suddenly realised that although I had made a link to the puffer fish (geddit?) I hadn’t included a season and don’t think one can be intuited as it stands.

    I would like to resubmit:

    the last steam train
    hauling clouds behind it

    As to why I specified locomotive – old habits die hard. I once worked for a man who was a train nut and when I was sent to cover a derailment I was warned to make sure I got the details right or I would be for the high jump! I dutifully copied down the engine number (checked it twice) and made sure of terminology – a locomotive is not a train, etc. 🙂

    • lorin says:

      😉 how ya do it, Sandra, is click on ‘reply’.

      Well, I certainly got yr ‘puffer ‘ link, no worries. We still have the Puffing Billy steam train here in Vic, for tourism. Maybe it’s not technically right, but it’s what they’re generally called.

      But what I really liked was the ambiguity of that bloke pushing you forward. My ‘loco’ [Sth American Spanish for ‘nuts/crazy/mad’ ] plus ‘motive’ [his crazy motive?] is perhaps an idiosyncratic reading, but it’s there as a possibility when a bloke pushes a woman forward when a ‘steam train’ is around 😉

      • gnunn says:

        Hello again,

        I know I say it every time, but the activity here is phenomenal…

        Some superb poems here… and as always I have many favourites, so here goes:

        three-bladed ceiling fan
        loses to midday heat

        (Joseph)

        This has such a distinctive sound Joseph… the slow whirring of the blades as they slice through that humid summer air. I can feel the heat’s oppression.

        early summer –
        the sound of a paper plane

        (Sandra)

        And this so subtle Sandra. The sound of both the crease, the excitement of its first flight and of course the landing… so much to enjoy.

        clamming on the pond
        my father’s reflection

        (Aldia)

        A stunning image Aldia. Seeing our parent’s looking back at us is often comforting and discomforting at the same time.

        in her straw hat
        wild strawberries

        (Claire)

        Delightfully simple and colourful Claire.

        dog paddling in her new
        cover-all bathers

        (Rhonda)

        Love the modesty of both the bathers and the stroke. Great stuff Rhonda!

        under the porch light
        the dog paws at a june bug

        (Willie)

        The link between porch light and Lorin’s puffer fish/moon here is superb Willie and the dog pawing at the june bug is so vivid.

        and a paper boat
        in the mercy of the waves

        (Vasile)

        Love the fragility of this Vasile and it links beautifuly to the puffer fish, who in death is also at the mercy of the waves.

        So there you have it… another smorgasboard of poems to choose from.

        And the final choice…

        Aldia’s, ‘clamming on the pond/my father’s reflection’.

        Now on to Link #15 – 3 lines (SU/W).

        Onwards and upwards!

        Graham

        PS: Have to also say have been really enjoying the Junicho and all the related conversation. Great work people!

  486. Claire says:

    Hi everybody !

    fluttering heart…
    a thorn pricked her finger

    or

    out of the copy-book
    a forgotten forget-me-not

    or

    kids bombarding a pumpkin
    with chestnut husks

    or

    thick fog
    walking in a cocoon

  487. Joseph says:

    I’ve been away from the computer for a few days now and have missed the developments!

    First to Lorin: yes, month names often used in kigo, but I’d emend to:

    three-bladed ceiling fan
    loses to midday heat (J)

    Barbara, love the “GM workers,” but think you might drop the “ex.” If they’re on the dole queue, they’re ex!

    Rhonda’s “cover-all bathers” resonated with me as well. As did Sandra’s “last steam locomotive.” Vasile’s “paper boat/ at the mercy…” has a wonderful sense of impermanence, as does the whimsy of Claire’s wild strawberry festooned hat.

    So many to consider! And here is another direction, from belly-up to full belly:

    the waiter laughs
    as the diner belches

  488. Joseph says:

    And for those who mind critical feedback:

    cheeks puffed out
    the poet indignant!

  489. Aldia says:

    moonrise
    a puffer fish floats
    belly-up (Lorin)

    global warming
    hell freezes over

  490. Joseph says:

    Hey, great ku, Aldia! Congratulations! Really, a lovely image.

    Here is a not-so-lovely image, but one capturing summer heat. (I think.)

    thick bodied
    the old sow wallows
    mud relief

  491. lorin says:

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection [Aldia}

    Good one, Aldia 😉 Congratulations!

  492. Claire says:

    A very moving/touching image, Aldia :

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection (Aldia)

    rolling down the slope…
    kids’ speedy race
    on their scooters (s)

    so heavy the gudgeon
    grand-dad’s grasping
    fishing line and I (s)

    olympic puppets
    on the ice rink
    blowing in the cold wind (w)

  493. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Congratulations Aldia, lovely ku.

    My offerings:

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection (Aldia)

    on his dancing toes
    around the sunroom
    with my fairy wings

    in a line of cars
    patiently awaiting
    our hockey to end

    a Buňuel movie
    the hearse, the snow
    and black umbrellas

  494. Aldia says:

    Thanks, Joseph, Claire, Lorin, and Barbara…..
    I loved to go clamming with my father. We would clam for a while, then sit down on a nearby rock have a beer and a chat. I still go to his favorite place almost every summer, with one of his friends and repeat the ritual. We talk about how my dad and I enjoy the peacefulness of the pond.

  495. lorin says:

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection [Aldia]

    by fire light
    I read Thoreau – a kind
    of independence

  496. lorin says:

    hmmmm… make that:

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection [Aldia]

    by fire light
    I read Thoreau – a kind
    of self-reliance

  497. Joseph says:

    Clams live in ponds?
    Claire, I love your “gudgeon.” And Barbara, so much your “Buñuel and the black umbrellas!” Chilling! And Lorin, love the Thoreauvian theme and the interesting line break. What inspired scenes. Maybe try “firelight” as one word?

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection (Aldia)

    I’ll try two here:
    so slow up the mountian
    my boots awash in mud
    the fire awaits
    or:
    barn cats dance
    among the splash-puddles
    summer rains

  498. Joseph says:

    What evil lurks in the hearts of men? Or in the shade under rocks while clamming?

    shore rocks
    seared by the sun
    hide the serpent’s bite

  499. ashleycapes says:

    Yes, congratulations, Aldia! A powerful link there…
    I’d like to second Joseph’s favs and add his ‘so slow’ ku to my list

    • Joseph says:

      Hey Ashley! Thanks. I’ve left another ku over on the junicho page that Lorin suggests for Gean. But when I tried to get on to the page, my server locked up. Huh.

  500. Joseph says:

    Okay, sorry if this is a tangent or if this posting is on the worng page, but as I was sorting through a forgotten book of poetry books (some moldy), I came across Bill Zavatsky’s first collection, “Theories of Rain” (1975). The poems are good, but the book is worth owning just for Zavatsky’s translations from Japanese oh haiku dedicated to the theme of that American cowboy, Roy Rogers! They are wonderful!

    Here’s one by Washi Goto:

    Autumn wind:
    Everything I see
    Is Roy Rogers

    Wow! I went on Amazon and ordered another, non-mold-spored, copy. There is also a very good essay on the influence of American westerns on post-war Japanese culture.

    Sorry to get off topic, but I was so excited by the cowboy haiku! And yes, there is one dedicated to Trigger!

  501. Claire says:

    Hello everybody !

    crocheting a doily
    by the fireplace
    spiderweb on the ceiling (w)

    or

    pedalling in the cold air
    so many secrets
    in the tyres (w)

    or

    All Saints’ Day
    a yellow mum
    on her tomb (w)

    or

    on the custard’s island
    a charlotte
    for his birthday (s)

  502. Claire says:

    PS : All Saint’s Day is on november 1st

    nineteen sixty-eight’s Black days
    Jesse James on TV
    my thirteen years’ old!

    Emerson’s love of nature
    how awesome
    who else nowadays ?

  503. Anne Elvey says:

    Wonderful image Aldia and so many great responses to follow. I really like Lorin’s Thoreau ku.

    I’ll give it a go, too.

    clamming on the pond
    my father’s reflection (Aldia)

    the silence of signs —
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly

    my mother’s brush
    and a hundred strokes —
    shining hair

    • Joseph says:

      Hey, Anne! Welcome home!

    • Aldia says:

      Thanks, Anne!

    • lorin says:

      Anne, I also like your ‘silence of signs’ ku very much, beautiful rhythm and the sense that the presence of a butterfly and the enchantment of the beholder can be read in someone’s eyes! And the connection of ‘butterfly’ with the bi-partate clam shells is a lovely, subtle linking.

  504. willie says:

    You are cordially invited to our fifth moon viewing party of 2009!
    The full moon rises on Tuesday morning, July 7th.

    To submit a poem (all submissions remain the property of the author) you may email me here: williamsorlien@yahoo.com
    or just post in comments at the site-
    http://haikubanditsociety.blogspot.com
    Please include your pen name so we might accredit your
    poem properly!

    Happy moon gazing!

  505. willie says:

    You are cordially invited to our fifth moon viewing party of 2009! The full moon rises on Tuesday morning, July 7th.

    To submit a poem (all submissions remain the property of the author) visit the HAIKU BANDIT SOCIETY blog and to read moon poems from around the world.

    Happy moon gazing!

  506. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hello hello everyone. Good to be back and so much to read.

  507. Sandra says:

    Some nice poems percolating through – Anne your “the silence of signs” is very mysterious and beautiful.

  508. Aldia says:

    Crazy computer issues……it may crash at any moment!

    frost on the window
    in my rearview mirror
    sunshine on the horizon

  509. Claire says:

    Baby’s babblings
    beneath the cherry tree
    birds chirping in their turn

    kite surfing
    on the Opal Coast
    sunrays at their climax

    breakdance
    last leaves enrolled
    in a devil’s wind dance

    in the void
    of the winter forest
    a fawn’s gasp

  510. Claire says:

    hello everybody ! (just forgot to say so, above)

    hello Genevieve, too – What about France (pro and cons, if you don’t mind – feel interested… ! -)

  511. Claire says:

    No problem for me, Anne, your ku deserved being chosen for its poetry !

  512. Claire says:

    Anne, your ku deserved being chosen for its poetry !

  513. Anne Elvey says:

    Graham, thank you. This is a lovely surprise. Thank you to everyone for your comments. With the silence of signs, I was also thinking of the way some Aboriginal people here teach their children and communicate with sign language, sometimes with their eyes.

  514. Sandra says:

    It is a noble choice, Graham. I’m heading south for a week (which is this part of the world at this time of the year means colder) with my young teenage son while older teenage daughter goes to Japan for a fortnight. Kids, eh?

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly

    (Anne)

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth

    or

    my name hanging
    in the air

  515. Aldia says:

    Very beautiful Anne, Congratulations!

  516. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi everyone again. Thank you Ashley & Claire for your welcome back. Yes France was amazing – but the prime reason for the trip was to go to Moscow to see our daughter performing in a French theatre company – which was wonderful – and never having been to Russia it was so exciting to see Moscow and St Petersburg. I think one of the most memorable things was seeing the Amber Room in the Catherine Palace outside St P. A room made totally of pieces of amber. During the war the Russians dismantled it – to protect it – and put all the amber on a train and sent it off to a village somewhere in the country. It has never been seen or heard of since.

    Thankfully there were photographs and drawings and the room has now been constructed with new amber exactly as it was. Just so beautiful. And a wonderful mystery to go with it. They say there are people who are devoting their lives to trying to find the original amber.

    Congratulations Anne on your lovely ‘silence of signs’ ku.

    I’ll send some in soon – and some pros & cons for you Claire on France – although it’s mostly pros.
    Good to be back. G.

    • Claire says:

      Visiting Russia has something quite special, a bit as if this country was at the root of western civilisations. Churches with those turquoise or golden bulbs transform me into some dough… I just melt ! So original, and at the same time, the “design” so artistic… They surely have plenty to find back that amber and so much more… I saw the Bölchoï theater in Paris’ Palais des Congrès with my mother in 1976, Giselle and Swans’ Lake, wonderful souvenir… Yours should be great, too !

  517. lorin says:

    Congratulations, Anne… a beautiful ku.

    [see my comment under your original posting of it]

  518. lorin says:

    well! I have no idea why that last post of mine appears *above* Graham’s.

  519. ashleycapes says:

    Just a test here – noticed the same thing, Lorin

    • ashleycapes says:

      (Just reposting Graham’s comment as it appears to be stuck at the bottom of the list)
      Ashley

      Hello all,

      Please forgive my very brief posting, but I have been madly rushing around these last few days preparing for a week out west (no phone or computer).

      Again it was a plesure to read your poems, and I must say, it feels wrong sometimes to choose only one…

      But this was my choice for link #15:

      the silence of signs –
      your eyes say butterfly
      butterfly

      (Anne)

      This has such a strange and powerful beauty Anne and takes us deep into the image of the face reflected on the pond in Aldia’s poem. It is indeed exquisite!

      So for me it is off to beautiful Blackall and I look forward to catching up on the Snail when I return on Friday. Link #16 is 2 lines Misc.

      Take care,

      Graham

  520. ashleycapes says:

    And congratulations, Anne! A subtle, powerful ku for the kasen!

    And yours too, Sandra ‘ghost train’ and Claire’s ‘kite’ struck me…I’ll be back to post something soon

  521. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Congratulations Anne, a great ku);

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    organic tattoos
    whilst you wait

    or

    a birdwing flutters
    through the open window

    or

    remove your shoes
    before entering the temple

    ~~~

    peace and love

  522. Claire says:

    Hello everybody !

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    three dandelions’ flowers
    for Grand-ma’s bun

    so big the pumpkin
    cucumbers’ talkshow

    up and down the carrousel
    imploring the ball’s tail

  523. sandra says:

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    her fingers deftly weave
    in one deliberate mistake

    or

    ambling across the hillside
    the scent of broom

  524. Rhonda says:

    Hi Anne – what a lovely ku – and also congratulations for your 2 wonderful poems ‘Between’ and ‘Clouds’ accepted for Cordite – also Ashley congratulations for ‘Cook’ also accepted to the same – love the poem

  525. Rhonda says:

    cockatoos
    over the noisy mountain

    a keyboard smile
    to a far-away friend

    the first flutterings
    of life….inside me

    blue flutterings….
    Sogi stops to listen

    some of you might remember I mentioned Sogi in the Cordite renku — well here he is again

  526. Origa says:

    Hi all,

    Interesting to hear about your trip, Genevieve. Have you brought some Russian haiku? 🙂 These are mine, from memories:

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    sad voice of the bell
    in a gnat-filled air

    *

    jogging at my side
    the puppy is serious

    *

    three weeks old kitten
    trying to look fierce

  527. lorin says:

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    a rose-pierced heart
    in the subway

    a dozen yellow roses
    from anonymous

    ‘red sky tonight…’
    says the sailor

  528. Claire says:

    Hi all,

    volcano’s magma
    everybody speaking his mind

    rough sea
    foam delightful on the cheek

    inner wisdom
    man’s freedom trail

    dreaming awake
    the smell of the sea

    • Claire says:

      Sorry, for the seond one…

      rough sea
      foam delightful to the cheel

      —–

    • sandra says:

      Hey Claire,
      ]
      Just a bit of housekeeping – earlier on we were asked to submit a maximum of 4 ku to each round so our moderator isn’t having to wade through a gazillion poems each time (and possibly get discouraged at the size of the task). 🙂
      Admire your enthiusiasm though.

      • ashleycapes says:

        Actually, yes, once again, sorry, Claire – I should have mentioned that in an earlier e-mail (thanks for the reminder, Sandra) – I’m getting more and more forgetful as the semester wears on/off

  529. lorin says:

    whoops…cancel that last one…repetition!

    revised:

    ‘red sky tonight…’
    in the sailor’s smile

  530. Keiji Minato says:

    Hi from hot, humid Kyoto. The rainy season is making me sluggish on every front, while this snail is moving on steadily!

    Here’s mine to follow Anne’s evocative verse:

    summer camp full
    of ghost stories

    eggplant flowers
    about to fall for eggplants

    Okay, I’ll take a peek at the Junicho too…

  531. ashleycapes says:

    Hey Keiji, great to see you back – sounds heavy in Kyoto – all that humidity! I thought I saw a few extra Hakusen Watanabe translations on your site the other week? Even if they weren’t new – it was fantastic to read them again, so thanks!

  532. Genevieve Osborne says:

    in my amber pendant, an ant
    for how many million years?

    • sandra says:

      Love this image Gen, so would like to alert you to the repitition of the word “pendant” from Lorin’s opal pendant ku … maybe the amber could be a paperweight?
      We have a native tree – the kauri – which was prized for its fossilised sap (prosaically known as “kauri gum” but which is NZ’s amber). There is a museum in the Far North, which is where the gum industry was centred, which has a room full of insects caught in amber, some of them rather large.

  533. ashleycapes says:

    2 lines msc…

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    a cage of white walls
    counting the ‘blips’

    not sure about my use of the onomatopoeic word (hope that’s the wright word form?) as ‘blips’ doesn’t quite sound right, not sure

  534. sandra says:

    Hi Claire,

    I may have been too long in replying to you earlier – please look back at your July 6 posting re the number of poems to submit per round. Cheers!

  535. Joseph says:

    Very beautiful ku, Anne! Can’t wait to submit some poems that might link. But, off to work again. Leter, though.

    Hi, Rhonda and Genevieve, nice to see you back. Joe

  536. Joseph says:

    Lorin, I love your “dozen yellow roses/from anonymous”! And Keiji’s “summer camp/ghost stories.”

    Here are some from me:

    after love, thirst.
    cold sake in bed

    a trek too far down
    memory lane

    a glint of gold-
    one fast carp

    or, following Souther Vermont’s weather patterns right now!

    sunny season
    sudeenly rained-out

  537. Joseph says:

    should read: “following Southern Vermont’s weather….

    sunny season
    suddenly rained-out

  538. Joseph says:

    and, maybe,

    a splash of gold
    one fat carp

    ???? what do you (pl) think?

    • ashleycapes says:

      Love the fat carp! Has a nice double image of either sun on water in a mostly shady spot or the flash of colour from the greedy bottom dweller itself!

      • Joseph says:

        Thanks, Ashley! I am caught by the image as well. Once, I was eating sushi at a local restaurant when a gold/orange flash caught my peripheral vision. Yes, it was a fat, tail-flashing carp in the pond below my window seat. The image stuck with me (until now).

  539. Claire says:

    Sorry Sandra, if it’s bit long ! The good Lord’ll punish me for being talkative !

    Cheers to all ! I’m one hour and a half from Reims-Epernay…

  540. lorin says:

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    that voice
    or was it a dream?

  541. Aldia says:

    the silence of signs –
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly (Anne)

    message in a bottle
    frozen in time

    makeup cannot disguise
    ones’ heart true desire

    you do not love me
    only the notion

    the beauty of flight
    on the wings of a dove

  542. Joseph says:

    Claire, you’ve got some lovely ku here! I do suggest you watch your line length, morae-count.

    Maybe try:

    a dyslexic child
    saved by a comic book

    mesmerizing winks
    sirens above the sea

    Just suggestions, but these forms more readily follow traditional line length for haiku.

    • Aldia says:

      Claire,

      I believe you submitted seven ku in your last entry alone.
      While I may agree with Joe, I think the suggestion is to limit the amount of submissions to four haiku per round, so we do not overwhelm Graham with so many poems to chose from each round. 🙂

  543. lorin says:

    Hi Claire… you don’t seem to have read Ashley’s comments at the very beginning of the renku [top of the page] or the further clarifications later within the thread, nor, it seems to me, taken heed of Sandra’s message to you beneath your July 6th post, so I hope you’ll forgive me for being blunt:

    each participant is allowed to submit up to *four* ku in response to each current selected ku. That’s a *maximum* of four ku.

    So far, if my count is correct, you have submitted *sixteen* ku in response to Anne’s ‘silence of signs’.

    This is not a ‘free-for-all’, where we can post as many ku as we like. What would it be like if we *all* decided to disregard the guidelines, even when reminded? Please take heed of the guidelines that have been set.

  544. Genevieve Osborne says:

    country night – no moon
    so black so quiet

  545. Genevieve Osborne says:

    perhaps:

    this country night – no moon
    so black so quiet

    …and thank you Sandra for alerting me to ‘pendant’ – I’m thinking around some other amber.

  546. Genevieve Osborne says:

    and to Joe, Hi – I like the fat carp.

  547. Rhonda says:

    I think it should be ‘turns’ –

    blue flutterings….
    Sogi turns to listen

    • Joseph says:

      I am looking back, Rhonda. Do we already have a poet reference in an earlier ku? But I do like “blue flutterings”

  548. Claire says:

    Hi all !

    a dislexic child
    saved by a comic book

    mesmerizing winks
    a siren above the sea

    volcano’s magma
    everyone’s his idea

    dreaming awake…
    the smell of the sea

    So, these are my four – I don’t know how to erase the previous entries for this round – please, do it for me…

    Now, rejoining friends with whom we are working on a short story book with our own texts (much work !)

    Until next round…

    • ashleycapes says:

      Can do, Claire! (great stuff on the comic book ku)

      Tell us more about the short story book when you finish?

    • Joseph says:

      What kind of short stories, Claire? (Because that is my primary melieu, the short story form. I’ve had many published, but am alway looking to write more. Joe

      • Claire says:

        Joseph, these are literary short stories and theater, intersperced with a bit of poetry and haikus/short haibuns.
        We are twelve right now. Reading the others’ texts and having our read. Generally speaking, it shouldn’t be finished before mid-september. Very difficult to get published in France, so we are doing an experiment !!
        We are French ones and Québécois… Not always the same language, it seems to be old French sometimes,
        however,ther keep the language better than us in Fr.

  549. willie says:

    the silence of signs
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly / Anne

    a model airplane
    stalls above the park

  550. Joseph says:

    off of Willie’s, a recollection of my childhood bedroom:

    my model airforce
    falls from the ceiling

  551. ashleycapes says:

    Greetings Snailers!

    I realised that I ought to have mentioned this earlier (yes, this is a plug)

    .
    But I also run a couple of other mags, holland1945 is semi-annual and looks for words&images (but issue 3 isn’t open for subs just yet, though issue 1 is up and 2 is close behind)

    http://www.holland1945.net.au/index.htm

    and kipple is a simple poetry blog looking for poetry – one poem at a time. I take a mixture of new and more established poets – and a range of poetic forms.

    http://kipplepoetry.blogspot.com/

    I’d love to see some work from anyone who’s interested – just hop over and check the guidelines toward the bottom on the right!

    Ashley

    .
    I may open a ‘opportunities’ page on the snail, for haiku, haibun, renga and other verse submissions, as I know a few of use are editors etc, let me know what you think. The only problem will be keeping it up to date…more work of course! 😛

    • Joseph says:

      Hey Ashley, I am very interested in submitting to your othe projects. Let me know what you’re looking for (I’ll check the sites!) Joe

  552. Rhonda says:

    Hi Joseph – no I don’t believe there is a ref to a poet yet in this Renku – unless my overworked mind has missed it – thanks for your comment – I like your ‘a glint of gold/one fast carp’

  553. Rhonda says:

    Hi Ashley – WOW you are a busy boy – what sort of music/songs does your band do? And do you sing?

    • ashleycapes says:

      Hey Rhonda – thanks for noticing ‘cook’ at cordite – I’ve put up a cut-up (or it will be up soon) too, which is quite odd but seems to work!

      Very busy – but it keeps me goin. Yes, I do sing (poorly!) Actually ‘sing’ must be interpreted in a very loose sense: one of my bands was actually a metal band – otherwise I play some piano (also poorly 😉 ) but still learning there, so room for improvement!

  554. Aldia says:

    the silence of signs
    your eyes say butterfly
    butterfly / Anne

    birdsong on the wire
    5 am broadcast uninterrupted

  555. lorin says:

    Hi Everyone… Last call for Submissions to ‘Notes From the Gean’, Issue #2.

    We welcome your submissions of haiku, senryu, tanka and haiga. The deadline is July 15th. Very soon!

    http://geantree.webs.com/

    cheers,
    lorin

    • Joseph says:

      Oh, I’m on it! Just back from rehearsal where I don an Irish brogue and an attitude of superciliousness. Thank god the bookstore I work at was busy today!

      Soon, Joe

  556. Joseph says:

    okay, one more, just because I am cooking a lamb korma and it has to simmer for an hour:

    bring rice and chicken!
    immediate, girls!

    or:
    fences separate
    horses from the sheep

    Good night.

  557. ashleycapes says:

    (from Graham – just re-posting this one here as I found it on the Junicho page 🙂 )

    Greetings Snailers,

    I am fresh back from the big skys and wide red landscape of Blackall… it is so incredibly beautiful. I plan to post poems and photographs from my adventures over the next few days on my blog Another Lost Shark: grahamnunn.wordpress.com so if you would like to see/read more about where I have been please come across and check it out. It has also been lovely to read here of other people’s travels and publications… you really are an active mob!

    I must start off by agreeing that the limit of 4 ku per poet really does help me when reading… and it has been a real pleasure scrolling through all of the poems for link #16.

    Again, I have many favourites, all with the potential to take the renku in a unique direction.

    Here are my favourites in no particular order:

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth

    (Sandra)

    Each year, I love to ride the ghost train at the Brisbane RNA Show (The Ekka). It never fails to rekindle the youthful fear I felt… I once wrote a ku – first date/ too scared to kiss/ on the ghost train

    ‘red sky tonight…’
    in the sailor’s smile

    (Lorin)

    The colour dazzles… The image of the sailor’s smile here came unexpectedly, but for me, makes this an exceptional poem.

    summer camp full
    of ghost stories

    (Keiji)

    Has a similar feel to Sandra’s ghost train poem. I can see the steam rising from the lips of the story teller and the goosbumps on the listeners’ flesh.

    a splash of gold
    one fat carp

    (Joseph)

    Love this Joseph. Yes even the bottom feeders are occasionally beautiful!

    a model airplane
    stalls above the park

    (Willie)

    The movement here is vivid and stopped me in my tracks Willie. I held my breath in wonder.

    And now I must narrow it down to one…

    So for link #16 let’s go with:

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth

    (Sandra)

    Thank you all again for your poems and I look forward to turning the next link around a little quicker. For link #17 we are looking for 3 lines (flower/spring).

    Happy writing,

    Graham

  558. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Sandra, congratulation for your mysterious ghost train.

    riding the ghost train-
    hounted by youth
    (Sandra)

    Here is my reply:

    a mysterious guest
    beyond the altar riddel:
    the bunch of sweet basil

    on the way to school
    the younglings
    just blossom

    near the station
    the light of a beacon-
    blooming cherry

    – hey, you snowdrops
    why such a hurry?
    the winter will return
    (Vasile Moldovan)

  559. lorin says:

    Congratulations, Sandra, and nice choice, Graham.

    Hi, Ashley: “…I found it on the Junicho page”

    …and it’s still there 🙂

    Ha, Graham 🙂 … so enthralling that you couldn’t leave?

    cheers,
    lorin

  560. willie says:

    a blatant plug as well as seeking honest critique:

    Long City Sidewalks-a junicho renku (revised) at

    http://greenteaandbirdsong.blogspot.com

    Writing with you folks definately brought our standards higher. Our humble thanks to all the authors at Issa’s Snail.

  561. lorin says:

    goodness, Willie…we’re just another bunch of writers! [ah, but… and readers 🙂 ]

    ‘authors’… wish I knew how to do the ‘rolling eyes’ smiley!

    Whatever happened to Roland Barthes?

  562. willie says:

    Ah Lorin!

    You’re a sweetie; laid it on too thick, huh?

    Willie

  563. Claire says:

    Hello evrybody !

    riding the ghost train
    haunted by youth (Sandra)

    an armful of lilies
    in the the bride’s arms…
    breathless, he sneezed

    or

    dew drop
    on the rose…
    dawn fragrance

  564. willie says:

    Say, Graham, I don’t think we’ve addressed the excellent suggestions to revise the daisan slightly to

    Ripened walnuts
    falling on baked red clay,
    a katydid’s song

    • lorin says:

      ’twas without the comma, tho, Willie, to give the ‘hinge/pivot’ form. [& without the capital R 😉 ]

  565. ashleycapes says:

    Hey Willie, just made the change – I realised I said I would do it ages and ago and it slipped my mind, but adjusted now. does read better too

  566. willie says:

    Geez, thanks, Ash, I forgot all about it, too.

  567. Rhonda says:

    Hi everyone – I don’t know if these follow but here goes –

    garden games
    an insect plays
    on a sundew’s leaf

    watching 3D
    petals falling
    in the theatre

    a brilliant performance
    from the carnation
    on the eulogist’s lapel

  568. Rhonda says:

    And –

    into the sweet night
    there goes Vlad to cut
    a blooming rose

    • Joseph says:

      Vasile, love the “altar riddel”. And also, your impatient snowdrops! Nice work. Joe

      And Rhonda, absolutely love Vlad and the blooming rose!

  569. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Congratulations Sandra.

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth (Sandra)

    hold a buttercup beneath
    your chin – see a golden
    circle on your skin

  570. Sandra says:

    Thanks for the kind words – just back from the farm. The highway through the middle of the island was closed due to snow and ice so we went round the mountain instead – made for a longer journey, but a route I don’t often take so it was interesting to see the carrots being lifted in paddocks at Ohakune, and carrot trucks on the road. Up here, it’s all kiwifruit!

  571. willie says:

    ‘carrot trucks on the road. Up here, it’s all kiwifruit!’

    I like this one, Sandra!

  572. Rhonda says:

    I think this is better

    there goes Vlad
    into the sweet night
    to cut a rose

  573. ashleycapes says:

    Me too, Willie – that’s could be a smashing ku – well spotted!

    And I agree with your revision, Rhonda – it’s much stronger now. I like it a lot

  574. Claire says:

    Hi everybody !

    earthenware pot
    so vivid the anemones…
    blurred purple wall

    or

    flying amidst
    a butterflies’ dance
    poppies’ petal

    PS : my puddle loves kiwis !

  575. Claire says:

    Sorry, that would be better like that :

    from the previous day :

    an armful of lilies
    in the bride’s arms
    — the groom sneezes

    earthenware pot
    so vivid the anemones
    blurred purple walls

    PS : Ashley’s ideas to take part to “Kipplepoetry and Holland1945” is great !

    • Sandra says:

      Might I suggest Claire that you take the dash out of L3 of “an armful of lilies” so making L2 a pivot, able to be read as connecting with either L1 or L3.
      It also adds a nice touch of humour to L2 & 3. Is he allergic to his new wife? Plus there’s the oddness of the groom being in the bride’s arms when generally one would expect it to be the other way round. A nice unbalance for the reader. 🙂

      • Claire says:

        Marriages are often somewhat funny ! They marry and divorce the following day… (for instance)
        I just wanted to open the haiku to anyone’s understanding by suppressing the past time > “sneezed”… He can sneeze because he is allergic to marriage… or because the bride is such a beauty that there is nothing left for him, some jealousy… Or, simply lilies’ fragrance might be a future sign for hay fever… Or, an ar arranged or compulsory marriage ????
        However, I Hadn’t thought at your amusing idea of the groom in the bride’s arm ! Still mum’s little boy ?!

        Of course, it’s a poodle (Puddel in German, although the origin of this dog might be French (on paintings, tapesties…).
        Poodle-named because in earlier times (before labradors anc cockers), they were used as water-birds’ hunters. Hence, the LION’s grooming (good word ?) to avoid being stucked into pricks, etc…
        Clyss is a two years old middle-sized apricot poodle and my fouth one : Douchka (grey) – Thalie (grey) – Ninon (chocolate) and Clyss. I would enjoy having a ckc, hesitate, fearing some jealousy, quarrels > HE is the only child !

        Difficult to me to imagine snox and ice on one side, carrotts and kiwis on the other !

  576. Barbara A Taylor says:

    g’day all

    Congratulations Sandra!
    Herewith my offers:

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth (Sandra)

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls-
    the chase is on

    or

    sticky cobwebs
    lace bluebell carpets
    in the woods

    or

    smokes for three
    between rhododendron
    and the shed

    peace and love

  577. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Ashley,

    Congratulations on your poem ‘Other Objects’ in “Island 117” – lovely. G.

  578. Joseph says:

    Okay, here a some considerations to follow Sandra’s excellent:
    riding the ghost train-
    haunted by youth

    garden ridges
    demarked by troughs
    yearn for strawberries

    a ring of choke-weed
    encircles the stone
    above mother’s grave

    the ring on her finger,
    a circlet of roses
    condemned

    the masons shift
    leaving the dandelions
    inviolate

    cloistered
    the young sister touches
    tulips with love

  579. Genevieve Osborne says:

    everywhere
    fluffy floating poplar seeds
    summer snow in Moscow

  580. Genevieve Osborne says:

    …I think I have to ask – is it alright to mention ‘summer’? Being away from this for a while leads to confusion.

    • ashleycapes says:

      Well-spotted, Genevieve – it’s a flower/spring link at this stage of the kasen – GRaham’s post is hard to see as I had to repost it up above a bit

      Hi Joe! I’d love it if you could read the poem today, but I don’t think Island has all of each issue on the site

      http://www.islandmag.com/117/contents.html

      It’s possible to order the publication but I’d rather save you a few quid and e-mail you a copy of the poem? 🙂

  581. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Thanks Ashley. Here is, I hope, a better offer:

    bluebells pushing sideways
    from underneath the log –
    determined

  582. Genevieve Osborne says:

    or perhaps ‘a’ reads better:

    bluebells pushing sideways
    from underneath a log –
    determined

  583. Genevieve Osborne says:

    now I’ve just seen your bluebells Barbara – was not an intentional double-up.

  584. Genevieve Osborne says:

    another try:

    threading jacaranda petals
    into a fairy crown –
    her first school play

  585. Genevieve Osborne says:

    a jacaranda tunnel
    the path slick and purple
    in the rain

  586. Rhonda says:

    Thankyou Joseph and Ashley

  587. Aldia says:

    Barbara I really like the image sticky cobwebs/lace bluebell carpets/in the woods.

    my contributions:

    riding the ghost train-
    haunted by youth
    (Sandra)

    picking greens
    with grandmother
    before the blossom

    running barefoot through the clover
    throbbing stinger in my toe
    peanutbutter and honey sandwhich

    braiding dandelion wteaths
    curling the stems
    crowning my sister

    babbling brook
    burnt cottage
    forget-me-nots inside

  588. Sandra says:

    Gee, some nice poems here with some lovely unexpected images.

    I’ll probably miss some favourites, but I do like:

    – hey, you snowdrops
    why such a hurry?
    the winter will return
    (Vasile Moldovan)

    because it’s a bit Issa-like

    and Alida’s

    braiding dandelion wreaths
    curling the stems
    crowning my sister

    although I wonder if you need both “braiding” and “curling”?

    And love Barbara’s:

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls-
    the chase is on

    for its energy, colour and youthfulness.

    I’m having fun reading them all.

  589. Origa says:

    Hi everybody,

    It’s such a mysterious and haunting ku, Sandra — just lovely!

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth (Sandra)

    non-believers
    coming to the temple’s
    bell toll

    the nostalgic cry
    when full zodiac circle
    comes to an end

    More later, if time permits…

  590. Anne Elvey says:

    Congratulations on the ku, Sandra.
    There are many I like to follow. Both Origa’s just above, and Barbara’s fuchsia-covered walls and Claire’s armful of lilies and lots more.

    One from me…

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth (Sandra)

    slowly
    the old man tallies
    this year’s nests

  591. Aldia says:

    perhaps…

    rambling brook
    burned cottage
    forget-me-nots inside

  592. Genevieve Osborne says:

    country show –
    daisy-chain crowns
    for the winning cows

  593. Genevieve Osborne says:

    my father at the door
    holding his poppies
    in a trembling hand

  594. Claire says:

    Hi all of you ! Just passing…
    Am interested into Ashley’s poem, too! Is-it in the current issue of “Island” ?

    • ashleycapes says:

      Yep! Sure is, it’s not online or at the website, but I could e-mail you a copy too, for sure. I’ll try get to it tonight!
      Ashley

  595. Genevieve Osborne says:

    one more:

    my father
    out there in the wind
    staking his delphiniums

  596. Genevieve Osborne says:

    and I think I should definitely lose the ‘determined’ in the bluebells:

    bluebells
    pushing sideways
    from underneath a log

  597. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Anne, I really like your old man tallying the nest, and Aldia your ‘picking greens/with grandmother…’

  598. willie says:

    I sse we’ve had a father reference already in the draft kasen, so sorry to say another may not hold water with traditional linkage, due to the repetition. Same may go with Dad or my old man, etc. Even Granddad!

  599. Anne Elvey says:

    Mmm… point taken Willie, though I must admit to not thinking of “old man” as a euphemism for father — not one I would use myself, but it is common. Well spotted.

    • gnunn says:

      Hi all,

      Another great selection of poems for me to choose from!

      I was recently asked to respond to a series of photos from the Ekka, which is Brisbane’s Royal Agricultural show (and of course it has your traditional Sideshow Alley style rides as well), so Sandra’s ghost train poem has not stopped circling my mind all week.

      It was also a great distraction to have my mind thinking of Spring/flower images at the moment, because it has been fairly cold (for Brisbane standards) this past week.

      So here goes… some of my favourites:

      a mysterious guest
      beyond the altar riddel:
      the bunch of sweet basil

      (Vasile)

      I really enjoyed this Vasile… the sweet basil such an unexpected surprise.

      garden games
      an insect plays
      on a sundew’s leaf

      (Rhonda)

      Love this Rhonda. This has all the infectious movement of youth and sheds the ghosts conjured by Sandra’s poem.

      up and over
      fuchsia-covered walls-
      the chase is on

      (Barbara)

      Likewise for this one Barbara… such energy and colour. The haunting ghost of youth left on the other side of the wall.

      threading jacaranda petals
      into a fairy crown –
      her first school play

      (Genevieve)

      And this one Genevieve. Brought back my own memories of making daisy chains for my mother. An moment of exuberance (and I guess some nervous anticipation) well captured.

      a ring of choke-weed
      encircles the stone
      above mother’s grave

      (Joseph)

      I was also struck by the ever tightening movement of this poem… This is such a different progression from the previous two poems; the ghost finally laid to rest.

      picking greens
      with grandmother
      before the blossom

      (Aldia)

      This is delicate and beautiful Aldia. Grandmother and grandchild enjoying the greenness of youth.

      non-believers
      coming to the temple’s
      bell toll

      (Origa)

      And Origa… this sings! The non-believers casting off their preconceptions, opening themselves to this simple moment of beauty.

      As always I struggled to narrow it down to one, but kept coming back to the energy of Barbara’s fuschia coloured walls, so I am happy to say that it will take its place at #17 in our renku.

      Thank you all again and happy writing for link #18 – yes, the half way mark approaches. We are now looking for 2 lines Spring.

      Happy writing!

      Graham

  600. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Yes, I see you’re right Willie. Although Anne, your ku does not say ‘my’ old man – so perhaps you are OK.

  601. Genevieve Osborne says:

    perhaps instead:

    the elderly priest
    out there in the wind
    staking his delphiniums

  602. Genevieve Osborne says:

    I suppose ‘priest’ can be called ‘father’ – but in name only. Perhaps I should leave out the ‘elderly’?

  603. Vasile Moldovan says:

    Congratulation Barbara!
    Joseph, Sandra and Graham, thank you for your comments.
    Vasile

  604. Genevieve Osborne says:

    Hi Graham, thank you for your comments – I’m glad my ku sparked such a good memory –

    and congratulations Barbara.

  605. Genevieve Osborne says:

    to follow:

    the field full of cornflowers
    and his bride’s blue eyes

  606. Anne Elvey says:

    Congratulations Barbara.

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls-
    the chase is on

    (Barbara)

    wind on the tracks
    of the tumbling page

    the hurdles fall
    behind her

  607. ashleycapes says:

    Congratulations, Barbara – a vivid ku, and great to see a burst of movement in the kasen too!

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls –
    the chase is on
    (Barbara)

    the ballerina’s legs
    crossing, uncrossing

  608. lorin says:

    Congratulations, Barbara.

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls –
    the chase is on
    (Barbara)

    the ballerina’s legs
    crossing, uncrossing again

    Ashley, this works [for me] superbly. How about getting rid of ‘again’, though? [ It doesn’t add anything, for me.]

  609. ashleycapes says:

    Good idea, I think you’re both right there, thank you! Consider ‘again’ cut 😉

  610. Sandra says:

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls –
    the chase is on
    (Barbara)

    down by the fjord
    a wave of apple blossom

    or

    twisting her hair
    she tells the second lie

  611. Joseph says:

    Sandra, I love the mysterious, “second lie”! Very scintillating!

    • Sandra says:

      Thanks Jospeh, a combination of having a teenage daughter and reading too many crime thrillers!

    • Sandra says:

      Ooh, that gives a terrible impression of my daughter, who’s a lovely young woman and, luckily for her dad and me a terrible liar 🙂 (nb, terrible at lying)
      I guess what I was trying to say in my original comment is that lying is just something teenagers do, like sprouting body hair. They can’t help it. And lie is probably too strong a word: they prevaricate, they avoid, they grunt (especially if they’re male – in fact, if they’re male that’s all they do!). It’s a combination of a lack of communication and a certain secretiveness about their activities.
      What did you do today? Nothing.
      Who’d you hang out with? No one.
      Where’re you off to now? Nowhere.
      [Opening bedroom door] What’re you up to? Nothing.
      Want to come for a walk? No. [Parent recognises that it is a stupid question, but was desperate for interaction. Walk? Ha!]
      Thank you Joseph for asking 🙂

      • Joseph Mueller says:

        Oh, Sandra, you are too funny! I am the eldest of twelve and have been privy to the “second lie” way too often in my youth.

        Becoming an iondependent person often requires a teenager to completely cut themselves off from thier parents and familial relations sometimes. Weird. But true.

        In terms of poetry, you mange to capture the teeange daughter/sister perfectly and succinctly. Good writing! (I know. I have six sisters.)

  612. Rhonda says:

    she stands in her spring dress
    catching looks from men

    a blue-eyed white cat
    lands in the agapanthas

  613. Rhonda says:

    he stops
    to watch a swallow

  614. g’day all

    Thanks for your comments, and thank you Graham.

    Here are my two liner Spring offers:

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls –
    the chase is on (Barbara)

    a sheepdog circles
    black-faced lambs

    or

    between the wickets
    softness of spring rains

    or

    helicopter blades
    scatter the pollen

    peace and love

  615. Rhonda says:

    oooo – my swallow ku so sux – this might be better

    rosey-cheeked old woman
    watching a swallow’s song

    and I’m changing my spring dress ku to –

    parading in a spring dress
    she catches looks from men

  616. Aldia says:

    Congratulations Barbara!

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls –
    the chase is on (Barbara)

    nipping at her heels
    puppy love

    • Joseph Mueller says:

      Okay. I am just coming back to this site because I have been incredibly busy and absent from home. But Aldia, THIS is a great ku!

      Nice work. You’ve managed to capture a photograph in words.

  617. Anne Elvey says:

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls –
    the chase is on (Barbara)

    punctuating bee-hum —
    a lilac bouquet

  618. Genevieve Osborne says:

    this morning new lambs –
    tails quivering and twitching

  619. Claire says:

    Hi everybody !

    lamb shaky on his legs
    — its first tuft of grass

    so many green candles
    lightening heaven

  620. Sandra says:

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls –
    the chase is on
    (Barbara)

    waiting for the phone
    an oak breaks into leaf

    • Joseph Mueller says:

      Sandra, while I like “an oak breaks into leaf”, the implicit continuation of image demands: “an oaf breaks a table.”

      We’ve all seen it!

  621. Origa says:

    riding the ghost train –
    haunted by youth (Sandra)

    up and over
    fuchsia-covered walls-
    the chase is on (Barbara)

    —————–

    the cats’ community band
    sawing the night in two

    first time he writes
    a letter to a girl

    in the thin evening air
    the voice of a tree-frog

  622. Origa says:

    Sorry, the first one should be:

    a cats’ community band
    sawing the night in two

  623. Claire says:

    Hello ! Thank you, Anne ; the unknown lie has a special feature ! All good poems anyway !

    quickly picking up
    the last wild orchids

    wrinckles’ nightmare
    — her past so smooth complexion

  624. Rhonda says:

    two circling gulls
    catch up to their shrieks

  625. Rhonda says:

    or without the ‘to’ might be better

    two circling gulls
    catch their shrieks

    • Joseph Mueller says:

      Rhonda, I like:

      two circling gulls
      catch up their shrieks

      The term “catch-up” is used widely in fishing communities, but also in Shakespeare. William meant it sometimes to mean: “caught up in” or “in-love.”

      SOme fun with language there. Joe

  626. Origa says:

    Barbara — sorry I forgot to say that I like your fuchsia haiku very much! I watch this scene in my garden right now, so I can actually relate to it. Colibri (hummingbirds) love my fuchsia too! 🙂

    And I just read your haiku in Asahi Haikuist Network (http://www.asahi.com/english/haiku/) — it’s lovely. Congrats on this too!

  627. g’day Origa, all

    Thank you, for your comments.

    Fuchsia is beautiful. The fuchsia in my ku was a scene from my youthful days in Ireland, horseback galloping over the countryside. The dry stone walls and fuchsia were as glorious as ever when I last visited.

    Lucky Origa, to have the hummingbirds.
    I have the kookaburras, amongst many others.

    Peace and Love

  628. Anne Elvey says:

    I love a cats’ community band, Origa, and your circling gulls, Rhonda, and your oak ku, Sandra.

    A fourth from me:

    the morning wind
    in acacia’s sunny skirt